|COME TO PENN STAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!|
OK, so we're officially over the halfway point in this NFL season. I really have nothing to add after that previous statement so why don't we just get into the Worst of the Week then.
Ryan Fitzpatrick/Fred Jackson - 3 turnovers too many from these nobodies. The Jets are a bad matchup for the Bills. They can silence the passing game and they play physical. If the Bills want to prove me right and make the playoffs, they can't lose games like these. I did like the whiteout though. Way to go Buffalo! WHITE POWER!
Mike Williams (SEA) and Mike Williams (TB) - What happened to these guys? Are they on IR? They might as well be. Do they suck? I think they suck.
Peyton Manning - Nothing is official, obviously, but it's feeling pretty likely that he is going to have a new home next season. It seems like he knows it, too. Let's say that Indy gets Luck and Miami has the #2. Is Peyton for the #2 pick a fair deal and Manning would go to Miami? I think it might. The last time that the Colts had the first two picks in the Draft, they took Steve Emtman and Quentin Coryatt. Great picks!
The Chiefs - I don't get the NFL sometimes. KC looked legit on Monday night even though they only won because Philip Rivers is shit. Now on Sunday (with SEAL IN ATTENDANCE), they get curbstomped by winless Matt Moore? That makes no sense. The moral of the story here is that Seal went to a Dolphins/Chiefs game for question mark reasons.
Josh Freeman - Not good. Tampa Bay just isn't very good.
Peyton Hillis - Coming off of my hate-filled lecture on Thursday, I was hoping that that would motivate this big white idiot to play football. It did not. Apparently, a bunch of his teammates held some sort of an intervention for #40 to ask him to stop being a poopy-pants dickface. And now the Browns have openly said, "FUCK YOU, WE GIVE YOU NOTHING, BYE BYE". I love it. They would be better off drafting Trent Richardson in the top 5-7 anyway.
Pat Shurmur - Wasn't he some sort of an offensive guru? Why is his offense completely unwatchable? Are those glued pubes on his head? Firing Mangini was a mistake (I've always said that), especially when you replace him with someone terrible.
John Beck - He is the worst QB in the NFL. There is no other candidate. Not even Trung Canidate. My favorite Beck-throw is when he "lobs" a screen pass or a check-down (which are the only throws he can make by the way) at about 140 mph. At least Roy Helu proved to be the truth. 14 catches! WEEEEEEEE!!!
Dan Snyder - You know that stupid NFL Fan Shop commercial where women are throwing their old gear at their douche bag husbands? I can not not laugh when Mrs. Snyder throws her Skins gear at Li'l General and leaves the restaurant. That's exactly what I have wanted to do for ten years. Bitches be crazy.
Mrs. Harbaugh's Smile - Speaking of that commercial, what's going on with her grill? Was she in Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun video? I'm sure that she's quite lovely since she married a Miami Man, but--ummm, yeah, still creepy.
Rams Special Teams - Only because this game was played and I feel like I should say something. Beanie Wells sucks, too.
Schedule Makers - Is is it just me or do the Bengals play dog shit teams every week? When are they going to start playing someone decent? I was totes wrong about Andy Dalton though. I will admit that. That kid (he is 8 years younger than me...I'm going to go cry now) looks like he's going to be alright.
Carson Palmer - That's 6 picks in 6 quarters now. Hope he was worth it, Hue Jackson!
Tebow H8RZ - He looked really good yesterday. It helped that McGahee was back being all sick. Never doubt that God does make appearances at the Oakland Coliseum.
Philip Rivers - Just terrible. His GM actually said that "sometimes you just have an off year". An off YEAR??? Honorable terribleness to whoever was supposed to guard V-Jax. Also, Aaron Rodgers sick. Which leads me to...
Mr. Ace - This faggot had the nerve to rank my #1 MSFL team FIFTH in his official rankings last week. I just went out and ENDED The Wig Master behind A-Rodg, Roy fucking Helu, McGahee, and Welk-ah. Highest points of the week. 8-1...going to win the league. FUCK YOU!
Bill Belichick/Tom Brady - HAHAHAHAHA Eli Manning PWNS you! You can't beat the Manning boy that sucks. This makes me laugh (because the Bills are still in first!). You can't spell ELITE without ELI!
Finally, on a bit of a somber note, jovial Stube character, Julio, apparently passed away from cancer this weekend. At least according to Ide, he did. He was the only Mets and NY Giants fan that I ever knew. I like to think that the G-Men won for him yesterday. Rest in peace, Julio, may you have endless 1-and-1's in the afterlife.