You can read it HERE. And daddy needs to get paid so please click that link a few times today. I wanted to add a few things (that I have noticed recently in my new building) to that glorious list of 8 bathroom rules .
9. Don't jerk off in the work bathroom - I added this rule in the comment section on that day linked. It still applies today. Save your Wayne Chism's for your own time.
10. You are in a No Clog Zone - I am not kidding. Three times last week, I went in to take care of some business, looked into "my" stall, and it was clogged. THREE times. Who does this? It looked like the perpetrator used a roll of TP each time. Look, buddy, if you can't finish a wipe in 4-5 strokes then just get comfortable because you aren't done shitting. A grown man can not possibly be that oblivious to think that after 15 attempts at the wipe that the wads are just going to go down the drain. What an asshole.
11. What you read is YOURS - Some (I assume) old guy has a knack of bringing the newspaper into the head with him sometimes. Whatever, people have been doing that for years. But when you are done in there, take it out with you. Don't just leave it on the fucking floor for the next guy like he's actually going to read something laying on pee-stained tile. That's disgusting. If you bring it in, take it out. The bathroom is not a fucking library.
There. I feel better. Fellas, it isn't that hard to be a gentleman in the restroom. Now, onto the predictions:
Michigan @ Iowa - I am so sick and fucking tired of people calling Kirk Ferentz a great coach. HE IS AVERAGE AT BEST. Want proof? OK.
1. He has won 59% of his games while at Iowa which equates to a 7-5 season every year.
2. In the last five years, Iowa has lost NINE times...when they were DOUBLE DIGIT FAVORITES.
#2 there might be the most pathetic stat I've ever seen. But this is Ferentz that we're talking about and after a horseshit loss to Flipper and the Gophers last weekend, you know damn well that the Hawkeyes win tomorrow so people can once again praise this asshole. Iowa wins 27-23.
Indiana @ Ohio State - I'm not sure why this wasn't the homecoming game but whatevs. If you are still paying attention to this game in the third quarter then you have serious problems. OSU 41-10.
South Carolina @ Arkansas - Did you know that these two teams are both ranked in the top ten? It's true. Jesus, College Football is having a pretty shitty season this year, no? This game will be boring as fuck. Arkansas 16-10.
Kansas State @ Oklahoma State - The Cowboys are going to keep slaughtering fools which will make their Bedlam loss look like a choke. KSU got exposed last week by an offense not nearly as good as the one they face tomorrow. THEEEEE OSU 55-20.
#1 LSU @ #2 Alabama - Let's all be honest here, we have not watched either of these teams play this season while sober. It's OK, we can admit it. I couldn't name one player on Bama besides Richardson and McCarron and the only the QBs for LSU are known to me. So what do I know?
*Les Miles is overdue to coach like a 'tard.
*Jordan Jefferson deserves to lose.
*Kiper says that every starter on LSU's defense could play in the NFL (impressive!).
*While google searching "LSU Girl" and "Alabama Girl", my penis preferred the LSU option.
*LSU is the best road night team in the country (TRUE! Cowherd said so!).
*Alabama has the best running back in the country.
*Bama has just as good of a defense.
*They are playing at home.
*Nick Saban is an asshole but I trust him more than Lester the Molester.
That is what I know. The line opened at Bama -5 which confused me. I figured it would be a field goal at most. You would think that the public would sway the line down in favor of LSU but it has remained fairly steady all week. What does that mean? The smart guys in Vegas like the Tide. Which means you should like the Tide because those guys actually know what they're doing. Should be a good one, Alabama 27-20.
Thoughts? Picks to click? More bathroom rules? You know where to flush 'em. See y'all on Monday.