Wednesday, September 21, 2011

When Does Basketball Start Again?

Wait a minute.  So you're saying that if I put my hands like this, the referee will stop the game clock?  Is this new?
There are quite a few things that I don’t understand when it comes to “fan-dom”, but one of the big ones is the notion of “conference pride”. You see this all the time. Big Ten and SEC fans seem to think that a football win validates the league somehow (and that makes zero sense). The same thing goes for the ACC and Big East in hoops. What sort of fucked up logic is this? How does Auburn winning the BCS title last year make Georgia and Arkansas look better? Answer: It doesn’t. In fact, UConn winning the NCAA tournament after finishing 9th in the regular season makes the Big East look terrible in my personal opinion. It just looks mediocre. How can the national champion not be in the top 8 of your league?

Around these parts, I have yearly arguments come bowl (and OOC) season with Big Ten fans that seem to think that rooting for your conference foes is acceptable. Again, it is not and it is dumb. First of all, who cares what people in the media think of the conference as a whole? If you are an Ohio State fan, why the bloody tampon does it matter what Mark May says about you? Sure, you’re rotten now, but you were excellent for a decade. You only give him more juice when you acknowledge that his words chap your anal region (which they CLEARLY do). Second, shouldn’t you want these rival schools to lose? Maybe it’s the MAC fan in me that recognizes that success on the field is cyclical and that winning big games is a good thing for the program because it increases your profile/helps in recruiting. If that notion is true (it is), why do you want them to win again? Third, and most importantly, THESE ARE YOUR ENEMIES!!! I don’t get it and I never will. I wasn’t rooting for Toledo to beat Boise State. It’s because I get it.

So with all that said, let’s take a little peak at the Big Ten through 3 weeks of the season (not the smoothest segue in my blogging career, but hang with me here). Who is for real? Who blows? Is anyone on the planet doing a worse job of coaching than Luke Fickell? You know what--we don’t need to answer any of those questions. You lovers of all things Big Ten better brace yourself because May Day isn’t going to stop ripping you this season. And he’s going to be completely right. Why?

The 2011 version of Big Ten Football is nothing but a big gash. It is absolutely terrible. A 12 foot wide dripping slopbox. What’s that? You want me to run down the list of schools and explain why this conference is a joke compared to the SEC and (gasp) Big 12 this year? No problem. Let’s do this.

Illinois – A nice win over "Future Porn Star" State last week but Ron Zook can never be taken seriously. He actually started Juice Williams for FOUR horrible seasons.
Indiana – Nice start to Kevin Wilson’s coaching career what with losses to Ball State and Virginia .
Iowa – Kirk Ferentz is shitcakes. No one has lost to Iowa State more than he has. And it took an all-timer of a comeback to beat a crappy Pitt team on Saturday where they were inexplicably down by 3 scores in the 4th quarter.

Michigan – Hokemania has them going in the right direction, but they aren’t there yet. It’s sort of like Brady’s attempt at touching the Michigan banner when the team runs out of the tunnel. Sure, he can get a finger on it, but it ain’t pretty. I’ll say it: if they played Notre Dame ten times, they would lose 9 of them. Fortunately, they got the one two weeks ago.
Michigan State – Tresselball with far inferior talent. How can anyone respect Kirk Cousins when he can’t even do much against Notre Dame. Dantonio’s ceiling for this team appears to be “Capital One Bowl”.

Minnesota – Coach would rather die. They probably will not win more than 3 games this year. That loss at home to New Mexico State doesn’t get the credit it deserves for being one of the worst losses by a BCS school in recent history.
Nebraska – So far, the “black shirts” couldn’t stop an offense built around this site’s comment section (which is comparable to Washington by the way). Am I the only one that feels like Taylor Martinez sort of sucks on foreskins?
Northwestern – They struggled to beat a Boston College that just lost to Duke at home. They just lost to Army. Persa for Heisman?

Ohio State – No passing game to speak of and truly horrendous coaching makes this sort of a lost season already. We talked about it yesterday and it warrants mention again: This was an average Miami team that completely embarrassed you all. What exactly was the game plan? Did they even watch tape? Since Fickell is stupid and fired, I’ve got a perfect replacement. You’ve got a pretty good OL, stud running backs all over the place, and no QB or receivers…the answer to your prayers is the WING T OFFENSE, baby!!! And no one runs that beautiful offense than a certain high school coach on the east side of Columbus . Jus’ sayin’!!!

Penn State – I would rather have present day Steve McNair than either Bolden or McGloin. They should have lost to Temple .
Purdue – Who gets beat by Rice? Sam McGuffie WHAT!!! I assume that he’s still there. He is too worthless to research though.
Wisconsin – Finally, a good team. 1 out of 12 ain’t bad. They look great right now but let’s be real. The Badgers have played nobody. I will proceed with caution before I crown their ass. They do seem like a mortal lock for the Rose Bowl though.

I think that even the most diehard Big Ten fan can agree with most of what I said above. And I paint a pretty grim picture for what the conference has become. So much like I said from the outset, you should probably start weaning yourself off of the “YAY CONFERENCE” bandwagon because this is the year of BIG TEN SUX LULZ!

Damman drunkenly said it best on Saturday night after the game (he was talking about the Buckeyes but it implies to the league as well): “We’re a basketball conference now”. Yep. Pretty much.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

First! Suck a dick, grumpy!

Conferences matter when trying to get into a national title game. This is why a 2 loss SEC team can make the title.

Also, conference pride is the reason AR-kansas fans were talking mad shit to OSU fans at the suga bowl. They discredit all of OSU's accomplishments because they play in an inferior conference. How can an Arkansas fan show this type of arrogance!? This is why everyone hates MuDawgfan.

Dut

Anonymous said...

This is why everyone hates Ohio State fans. Arrogance should not be used for Arkansas fans, it is the best word used for Ohio State fans. I love hearing you fucks complain, it's a great year for football.

NW

Grumpy said...

WTF Dut? G$ nails it again. I can't envision any circumstance in which I would root for a conference foe. Like G$ said, they're our rivals, in some cases hated rivals. I hope OU loses every game and the campus is ravaged by an AIDS outbreak.

Anonymous said...

NW- no matter how arrogant OSU became, it will never come close to the arrogance at UM. They were even arrogant while getting their dicks kicked in by OSU every year. At least OSU had a reason to be arrogant.. National title, 7 straight B10 titles, heisman winner, multiple BCS wins, consistently finishing in the top 5, etc. Don't confuse arrogance with just being better than you!

Dut

Phone Sex said...

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Anonymous said...

Dut,
Lets not forget that the only reason they have a resume like that is because Tressel was cheating the whole time. It reminds me of USC a little bit. They got caught cheating and now they are a nobody just like OSU will be.

NW

MuDawgfan said...

Damn! I'm hardly posting anymore but getting lots of shouts! Thanks to the Iceman and noted boy fucker Dut for the thoughts and words.

I don't care what conference you play in, rooting for your conference foes to be successful does nothing but help you in the current BCS system. As long as strength of schedule matters, placing an emphasis and celebrating the wins of your conference oppenents makes a differnce.

Alabama's absolute destruction of Michigan State last year is the best example. That was Michigan's State's best team in 15 years and Bama could have beaten them by 50 if they wanted too. Poll Voters and Media types take note of this and reward additional credit for conference victories (over Alabama and other foes) accordingly in the following year. It's a self serving practice.

The Iceman said...

I don't "root" for conference foes, but it doesn't mean I don't want them making/winning bowl games. Why would I actively hope Big 10 teams lose bowl games when Michigan gets money for any Big 10 team that wins in a bowl? Dumb.

Not only that, but the better your conference looks, the more national exposure the conference gets and that's a better shot at landing top end athletes that normally would never consider playing in that conference.

GMoney said...

Why do you give a damn about what Billy Joe Razorback thinks?

As an innocent bystander through all of this, please never say that a Michigan fan is more arrogant than a Buckeye fan. That's 'tarded.

Here's a better way to get into a national title game without wanting your rivals to win like a shitbird...win your f-wordin' games.

Dut bringing the nonsense early and often today!

HI PHONE SEX!!!

GMoney said...

Why would I actively hope Big 10 teams lose bowl games when Michigan gets money for any Big 10 team that wins in a bowl?

1. You don't need the money.
2. You get paid win or lose.
3. Take the rest of the day off.

Anonymous said...

Why wouldn't you want your foes to do well OOC? It builds credibility to your program and helps with recruiting. Now this probably doesn't apply to the powerhouse that is the MAC whose best team lost to OSU (haha UT is bad), but for BCS teams, rooting for your conference to do well as a whole, I think, is very acceptable. I know that I cheered when UM kicked the shit out of Florida during Michael J. Carr's last year, the year after UF beat us in the championship game.

Ide

Anonymous said...

And Michigan is MUCH more arrogant than OSU. Fuck, they even admit it. Watch the OSU vs. UM rivalry documentary on HBO. They are proud of being more arrogant than us. We are, however, bigger assholes.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Goddamnit Iceman...every team in a bowl game gets paid the same amount.

Please don't ever compare the conference pride of B1G teams to those of SEC. I have never seen Big Ten chanting...or any other conference chant like SEC fans do.

I pick and choose which conference teams to root for and when. I don't care if the little guys win...I usually always root for Michigan State...and I never root for Michigan, Wisconsin or Penn State.

NW...Those tattoos got for rings really made for an unlevel playing field didn't it? Just think if they got piercings too...we would have won national championships every year! You are so fucking stupid.

I do think your recap of the conference is pretty spot on...it is indeed perhaps at it's peak of awfulness right now. Hopefully, the Bucks look more respectable once they get guys back and aren't playing with one arm tied behind the back.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Ide, I think you're confusing ignorance with intelligence.

I am probably the odd man out on this. I am a Michigan fan, but I almost never root for Big Ten teams. Like Penn State versus Alabama a couple weeks back...I didn't care, was even slightly pulling for Bama. I have always said that I hate the Fuckeyes more than I like Michigan, and I feel almost the same way about Sparty; watching them lose to ND was glorious. In the grand scheme of things I don't think it makes that much difference. If you go undefeated and you're a Big Ten team you will play in the National Championship, doesn't matter how the conference is doing that year. If you're a one loss Big Ten team you will make the NCG over any other 1 loss team with the exception of an SEC team.

I don't base my rooting interests on having arguments with inbred SEC fans.

Anonymous said...

I am proud to say that I have never rooted for Michigan.

Beyond that, I root the Big 10 to not embarass themselves in OOC. Losing to NM St, Rice and Ball St does not make the Big 10 look good. As has been stated, as a MAC fan, you would not understand this because no matter what happens, your conference will be dog shit.

What conference you play in does have an impact on going to BCS games. So naturally you don't want your conference mates shitting the bed.

NW likes little boys. I know for a fact that he has rooted for OSU on more than one occasion. That's a great Michigan fan there.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Drew

And why are those guys not playing the first 5 games? I thought OSU doesn't rebuild, they reload. I have been hearing that shit for years. So where is the awesome reloading you assholes always talk about.

Anonymous said...

When have I rooted for OSU.

NW

Anonymous said...

They aren't playing the first five games because they broke a dumb rule...the fact that they traded rings for tattoos did not make them a better football team.

Damn straight there is reloading going on. There were 31 first and second year players on the field against Miami. That's insane. There is not a single team in the country that will get a better influx of talent in three weeks than adding Herron, Posey, Adams an Williams. This is an extremely young team that is currently missing many of it's best older players. We'll see how they do when the guys get back.

--Drew

GMoney said...

NW, go to Hell, you were rooting for the Buckeyes against the Canes in NCG that one year. I was in the damn room! By the way, basing our team around Charles and Vick is looking like a TERRIBLE decision right now!

Does it really matter if you send two teams to BCS bowls? No, it does not. I still contend that as long as you only lose 1 game in the Big Ten, the rest will take care of itself and you will play for a title (most of the time). So rooting for your peers is stupid, you see.

I've been thinking of my Brady Hoke banner touch analogy all morning. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in three years, Michigan will be a power again and Hokeamania will win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest.

Anonymous said...

NW, what about the National Championship game against Miami? I wasn't there with you, but I have sources who were with you (G$) who say you openly cheering for your biggest rival. That's some great fandom there.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

NW was rooting for OSU to win a national championship?!?! Oh Lawd...Oh Lawdy..

That's some great stuff. What a faggot.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

1. We always need the money.

2. Yeah...forgot about that.

3. That's probably a good idea, but when was the last time I listened to a good idea?

Anonymous said...

MUDAWG said it best, strength of schedule matters based on the current BullshitConferenceSeries we have to play in.

"If you're a one loss Big Ten team you will make the NCG over any other 1 loss team with the exception of an SEC team." - There is a reason for that, the SEC doesn't embarrass themselves to OOC foes year in and year out like the BigTEN does.

"I still contend that as long as you only lose 1 game in the Big Ten, the rest will take care of itself and you will play for a title (most of the time)" - False

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

That is a mistake that will never happen again.

NW

The Iceman said...

I know a bunch of you fags like to beat off while watching Entourage in candle light with a glass of wine, so I'll let you know if any of you are interested I have seasons 1-6 for sale through my work at $5 plus tax per season. They are litterally brand new since they were most likely stolen and sold to me for crack.

GMoney said...

This just in...

The Iceman is actually Adrian Grenier. Homo.

The Iceman said...

That's the biggest insult you could ever throw at someone.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

"When have I rooted for OSU.

NW"

"NW, go to Hell, you were rooting for the Buckeyes against the Canes in NCG that one year. I was in the damn room!"

"That is a mistake that will never happen again.

NW"

You dumb piece of shit. Not only have you rooted for OSU...you've rooted for them to win the national championship. That's pretty much like this conversation happening....

"When have I sucked off a guy.

NW"

"NW, go to hell. I saw the video (no homo) of you getting gangbanged by 8 black guys and you wouldn't even let yourself quit until you had sucked the last one dry"

"That is a mistake that I will never make again.

NW"

You are a fraud and a dumb piece of shit.

--Drew

GMoney said...

As if NW would ever stop doing interracial gay bukkake porn...

Prime99 said...

Comparing cheering for Big Ten schools to getting gang raped is quite a fair and accurate comparison.