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Upon arriving at this "city", Guinness says to Luke, "Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." And that's pretty much the same exact sentiment that I have when Ohio State invades The U tomorrow. Two dirty ass schools getting together to play some boring ass football. It's going to be awful. Now that the dorky analogy is over, let's get this mail-in post into hyper-drive with a breakdown of this weekend's big games. Be honest, I pulled you in with my tractor beam.
Ohio State 23, Miami 13. Is there any decent explanation for why Vegas has Miami favored in this game? This feels like the easiest money ever. Yes, Al Golden is looking for a signature win but signature wins and Jacory Harris are two things that don't go together. This game is going to be a snoozer. It will be a miserable 3.5 hours. The Buckeyes are going to continue to play it close to the vest (no pun intended) because Fickell wants to ensure that he won't get another head job ever again. I don't know why he isn't going balls to the wall. Braxton should be playing all the time. The status quo isn't going to get the interim tag removed. The over/under on Jacory turnovers is 2.5. What are you taking?
By the way, I heard on the radio yesterday that the Chari-three weren't the only Buckeye football players at that party. Apparently, two others were there that did NOT take any cash for doing nothing. Some Newsome guy that transferred to Ball State (1-0 in the Big Ten!) and...TERRELLE PRYOR! Rumor has it that ol' TP learned his lesson and kept his hands in his pockets while his buddies were breaking the rules. I don't know if I should be impressed or dismissive that he was clean for one night. Then again, TP doesn't accept anything under 4 figures.
Oklahoma 33, Florida State 31. I think that this game is going to be pretty awesome. Unfortunately, no bar or house in Columbus will have this on since it is at the same time that the inferior local team plays. That sucks! Jimbo has a chance to put his program on the map here and Stoops just loves to choke. But I can't pick the Noles here. Now if they were Noel's named after former Napoleon bar, Noel's Place, I would pick FSU to win by 70.
Boise State 55, Toledo 30. The Buckeyes took the Rockets lightly last week. The Broncos will not. Chris Peterson watched that game. He saw what Toledo has. They won't be surprised. I will never believe in the team that just put everything on the line less than a week before and came up short. They can't do that again and they won't. Boise is somewhere between an 18 and 20 point favorite, I'd lay the points. I'd lay the shit out of those points.
Sparty 29, Notre Dame 27. Sparty scores a touchdown on the last play of the game and instead of kicking an extra point for a one point win, they go for two. Why? Because FUCK BRIAN KELLY, that's why!
Yeah, that about does it. I finally should have the internet back up and running at work today. Next week things should be back to normal. Fantasy matchups this week: Dut in the DFL (easy win), Lange in the MSFL (easier win), and Damman in the G$FL (wow 3-0 this weekend!). Big week. Ain't-nothin'-we-can-do-about-this-time!!!