Friday, September 02, 2011

CFB Preview Day 5: WOOOOOO!!!

You can't talk about champions without mentioning The Nature Boy!
I spent a fairly large chunk of time in the ER yesterday.  It was boring as shit.  Don't worry, everything is fine now...the old man just had a bad reaction to cortisone.  Speaking of the ER, how depressing is that place?  Holy shit.  I was always under the impression that ER's had handsome devils like Stamos and Clooney and that guy that looks like Andre Dawson running around fixing everything.  I want my money back.  To close out the week, Denny Green wants us to crown somebody's ass.  And we will not let anyone off the hook.

Damman: BCS Title Game and Winner - Boise St over Oklahoma. This is the year for Broncos. They get lucky by drawing legendary choke artist Bob Stoops in the championship game. Ironically, Boise winning the title will slow a lot of momentum for a playoff in college football actually benefitting the BCS and, in the process, telling Orrin Hatch to go fist himself.

The Wig Master: BCS Title Game and Winner - Oklahoma over Oregon. The BCS, the computer points, the coaches poll, the human error, the Lil Strut arguments, Craig James…they all got to go. But it is what we got, and this year, Oklahoma will play Oregon for the BCS National Championship presented by Taco Bell (or whichever other corporation bought the rights to the crystal football this year). Oklahoma gets it. And lastly, thank you to G$ for the chance to participate once again this year. Now, go find a way to provide impermissible benefits to the college athlete of your choice.

Drew: BCS Title Game and Winner - Alabama over Stanford. (ed. note - Fuck you and your shortage of words. I hope that Suh dies.)

GSaul: BCS Title Game and Winner - Oklahoma (24) over Alabama (21).  Stoops has been close several times ('03, '04, and '08) to claiming his second title since 2000, but this is the year that he finally gets it done. The Sooners have a big non-conference game against Florida State, but should be able to easily get past the rest of the Big 12. Saban is looking for his second title in the last three years at Alabama. The Crimson Tide's non-conference schedule is a cakewalk, but many challenges await in the SEC. This would be the second time (2003) these two coaches faced each other for the title, but Stoops v. Saban Part II goes to the Sooners.

Dut: BCS Title Game and Winner - Alabama over Florida St (because of their garbage schedule)

G$: BCS Title Game and Winner - Alabama over Virginia Tech. I've picked Alabama for three years in a row now. I don't see that changing any time soon. I suppose I need to justify my pick of ol' Fake Neck going undefeated. Their schedule is easy and all the tough games are in Blacksburg. No more Tyrod Taylor. And the only teams on their side of the ACC with comparable talent are about to get bombed back to the stone age. Go Hokies! Suck on it, gook gunmen of the world!

By the way, how many fucking Buckeyes are going to get suspended this year?  All of them?  It should be all of them.  Fucking dirtbag program.

Thank you to all of our sexy contributors this week.  Some were better than others obvs.  Enjoy the opening weekend of college footbawwwww.  We're going to be dark here until The Iceman's debut on Tuesday.  Good luck.  Just a reminder to make you as jealous as Drew is of Iceman, Ace and I will be at Monday Night Raw this week!  SUCK IT!

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know what E.R. You were in but about 75% of the people that go there we are paying for them. I've worked in one before and trust me nothing like seeing Medicaid money being wasted (they should start drug testing these people). Next time you go in there you should tell everyone that you are welcome for paying their visit.

On a side note I'm disappointed at the lack of respect for my fantasy team.... Grumpy let's make a deal.

----Lange

Tart said...

I started a College pick'em on Yahoo if anyone is interested the Group number is 16293, password is napoleon.

Anonymous said...

Ah ohio state, what a bunch of thugs. And lange i was checking out the trade you offered and I am mo longer interested. Try that God awful trade on grumpy, he has no clue what he is doing.

NW

Grumpy said...

I assembled a pretty good team (I think) for someone who knows nothing. I'm not in a trading mood right now, but I'll give all offers due consideration.

If I'm so bad, why is everyone trying to trade for what I got?

Anonymous said...

Lange, it was a lot of sickly old fuckers wearing gowns or as I like to call it, a "No Bone Zone". At least dad had a tv in his little bay.

Quit hi-jacking my shit, Tart!

I can't wait to refuse a trade from you, Lange.

--$

Anonymous said...

Yeah...what a bunch of thugs for going to a breast cancer awareness charity event and taking a giftbag with a mouse, mouse pad and t-shirt. Fucking DERP away NW. Our players better bring their own toilet paper to public restrooms these days I guess. Whatever...we'd win the MAC with this B team.

Goddamnit I just want to see some fucking football.

Fuck you Tart.

--Drew

MuDawgfan said...

Lots of people like the Tide this year, anyone think they'll struggle against Penn State?

I haven't heard much about the Nittany Lions this year, so that game might be a challange.

In closing - I've already told the girlfrient to get the tarp out and lay it on my side of the bed. I'm going to be blacked out as hell on Saturday night and will likely piss myself while asleep.

Anonymous said...

As tomorrow is my birthday, I place the over under of self urination at 4pm. Bet the under.

Ide

Anonymous said...

MUDawg....I'm proud of you. I haven't pissed myself since 2005 and I hope to not ever do that again...but if it happens...it happens.

Ide...Happy Birfday.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

The only reason they are going is because their coach is making them do it for good press. Being OSU players I wouldn't be supprised if they stole a couple giftbags for themselves.

NW

Anonymous said...

Yeah Drew.. Huge thugs. How dare them take home the gift bag that EVERYONE ELSE GOT? So thuggish of them to show up to a cancer charity event and get fucked for it.

I think were seeing the compliance department go overboard, and it will continue for a few years. What those 3 players did wouldn't have gotten them in trouble last year.

Fuck Tart.

Penn State will probably finish 4th/5th in the B1G. They will get murked by Alabama.


Dut

Anonymous said...

Penn State blows. Bama might only beat them by a thousand since its in Nappyhead Valley.

Thugs trying to rip off a charity event...it never ends. There's no way in hell that they were invited since they are average players. Thieves I tells ya! Lock 'em up!

--$

Anonymous said...

I can't tell if NW is retarded or if he's just trying to get a reaction. Regardless, I believe OSU players have been visiting childrens hospitals and doing events like these for years.

Dut

The Iceman said...

Lange - You're starting Reggie Bush. No one should ever respect that.

Give Grumpy a break man! I think he did alright considering he's never done a fantasy draft and is about a week away from going all Joe Paterno on us.

They were probably at the hospital looking for underage pussy.

Anonymous said...

I highly doubt that Terrelle Pryor's boyhood bitch is volunteering his time. He was only there to give aids to kids who already have cancer. What an asshole.

--$

Anonymous said...

Reggie Bush in a PPR league? I will start him all day. Chad Henne(elite- UM player) can't throw the ball so he will dump it down to Bush all day long.

NW- You don't want to jump on the Wayne train?

I think I hurt Grumpy's feelings by my comment during the draft. I know you don't know me Grumpy but I'm a pretty nice guy.

----Lange

Jeff said...

How many times did Tress get arrested for beating his baby mama? Thugs (see haywood, mike)

If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying or winning. Just don't get caught!

The Iceman said...

I don't care if it's a point per Kardashian cream pie league. It's Reggie Bush. And you're relying on him to help you win games. Terrible.

But I will give you props for Schaub at $13. That was impressive.

Grumpy said...

Lange, I missed your comment during the draft. I was so afraid of screwing up that I just focused on the draft and hardly read the comments. What did you say?

Anonymous said...

All charges againt Haywood were dropped. Let that be a lesson, kids: never stick your dick into crazy.

I would love to be in a PPKKCP league! I pick Ray J!

--$

Anonymous said...

Lange,

Not for McFadden

Anonymous said...

I'm picking Kris Humphries in the cream pie league. I saw on a commercial that he didn't even know she was once married before? Wait til' he finds out that Ray J pissed all over her.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Drew, its all set up. Much like all reality TV shows, they set up plots to make the show stomachable. His acting job in his 'reaction' was worse than his athletic abilities. Trust me, he knows Ray J pee'ed all over her, I'm sure he watched that video before he even met her.

I don't watch the show or anything though, my wife does!

Not much to comment about on the pics. Serviceable pics. Dammans really going all out on Bosie this year, I hope he is right! The rest are 'predictable' answers.

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

To all Big Bro fans out there:

Happy Shelly's Gone Day.

--$

Anonymous said...

It will be glorious to see UGA beat Boise so that all of Dammans predictions go right down the shitter.

Dut

The Iceman said...

In the PPKKCP League I'm taking Lamar Odom. I know that the thick calfed whale he's married to is Grimace in a dress but she's still technically a Kardashian. Plus I'm betting almost anything Lamar eats gummy bears out of her pussy...and I can't pass up a chance to witness that.

Anonymous said...

Dut....not to mention that G$ would cry if Boise lost on opening weekend.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Why would I cry about Boise? Explain yourself! WE R DA NU BOISE!!!

--$

Anonymous said...

G$ - cheers to that! God she fucking sucked. I hate Rachel, but no one else on the show deserves to win.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Grump,
I said something to the fact of questioning if you knew what you were doing... but I was only saying that due to it being your first time in fantasy football awesomeness.

What will happen when Toledo upsets Boise at home, then goes to the shoe and wins? Top 5 ranking?

NW- I offered you that and then took it away because I knew you wouldn't agree to it. Can't we work something out? How about Blount, since I love me some Swisher Sweets.

----Lange

Grumpy said...

I never would have believed I would end up rooting for Rachel. But I'd still fuck Jordan first.

Anonymous said...

I will pick Rob Kardashian in the PPKKCPL because he gets all the sisters hot friends. And he is on DWTS (I feel like a fag for knowing that).

G$- I might offer you a trade you just can't refuse.

Anonymous said...

G$-

I was gonna watch that shit on DVR after work, you spoiler. Were you in on those death threats her family received?

-Rex

Anonymous said...

You better believe I was. Bought a new pair of rape gloves and everything, too! Guess I can stop burning crosses on their lawn now.

Rachel has somehow become likeable recently and I the only one who deserves to win.

Shelly got voted out. You knew it was happening. Even Zingbot 3000 knew it. Don't blame me for spoiling, blame the goddamn Browns.

Or be a man and get up at 6 am like I have the last two Fridays.

KILL JOSIE AND TONY!

--$

Anonymous said...

CBS set that shit up for Rachel and Jordan to stay. Imagine the ratings if it was Porsche, Shelly, Kaliah, Adam, and either Jordan or Rachel in the house. They knew damn well a moron like Porsche was going to take that money.


----Lange

Anonymous said...

Honest question for you Fuckeye idiots:

You put yourselves on probation and then have to suspend three players for improper benefits. What happens now? You vowed that it was over once Tress left and clearly the problems have continued. I wonder if this will have any effect on the NCAA?

--$