Thursday, September 29, 2011

Bob Holt Say WHAT?

Football coach or Prince of Darkness?
Goddamn wild card races have really thrown a wrench in my plans. In case you were unaware, tomorrow is Lacey Chabert, Tory Lane, and G$’s birthday. I like to use this as an excuse to mail-in a blog post. I was going to just throw up a mash-up video of Amy Reid facials and my extra point conversion (best idea for a video ever eventhough I have no idea how to create a video) but nooooooooooooooo…stupid baseball and my need to predict things got in the way. So now I have to analyze Matt Harrison’s season splits on my birthday when all I really want to do is watch young Amy get creamed. It’s not fair!!!
Anyway, I guess I should post something today. And much like every good blogger looking for inspiration, my first stop was the always insightful NewJerseyNewsroom.com! The site’s motto just kills me: “OUR STATE. OUR NEWS.” New Jersey is awful in every way. But something did catch my eye courtesy of possible juiced-up gorilla reporter, Bob Holt:

One of the biggest names being heard as an early favorite to take the Ohio State coaching job in 2012 is that of ESPN analyst and former head coach of Florida Urban Meyer.
Meyer may have other ideas. He is said to have interest in succeeding Joe Paterno, 84, as Penn State coach. Onwardstate.com reports that Meyer met with Penn State Athletic Director Tim Curley and University President Graham Spanier while he was at Penn State recently for an ESPN interview.

Wait—WHAT? Is this a real thing? Most people have Urban “buying a house in Upper Arlington” already (which is totes not true, peeps). Is there a growing section of people out there who believe in "Urban going Rural"? See what I did there? I made a joke about population and land demographics. You don’t get that kind of edgy humor at NewJerseyNewsroom.com.  That's back-to-back days of great jokes.  Call me, Jay Leno, I will write you fresh, witty, and horseshit monologues!

I don’t want this to turn into a comment section where everyone debates who the next Buckeye coach will be (that is for a later date, trust me). But I am curious to see if anyone is buying this. Can you see Urban Meyer coaching Penn State in 2012? At first, I rolled my eyes and LOL’d my anus off, but now I’m not so sure that it would be a bad move. For a few reasons actually:
1. As far as we know, there are no sanctions from the NCAA coming like there could be at other options.
2. The velcro shoes aren’t really that big to fill. Everyone on the planet has known for a decade that Meyer is a better coach than Paterno.
3. He could finally do something that JoePa couldn’t do and that is fire Tom Bradley and that redheaded asshole who is terrible at calling an offense.
4. There is no Drew or Dut in State College (as far as I know).

So I guess I could see it. I don’t know how likely the great Bob "Grenade Launcher" Holt’s scenario is, but it’s sure as shit more interesting than PSU bringing in a turd like Greg Schiano.

I am firmly of the belief that Meyer will not coach again. I will always believe that he shouldn’t come back (years of medical school has afforded me this expert opinion on his health). But I have been lead to believe that if he did return to the sidelines and have more heart attacks, it would be in Columbus. Now, I’m not so sure. He appears to have options.  Or maybe he has fallen in love with being the third member of ESPN's D-team? Thoughts?

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tigers win in 4, Yanks blow another series.

NW

Grumpy said...

Hell yes he has options. If he wants to coach he will be at the very top of the list for anyone looking for a coach. Why take on Ohio State and the baggage. He could coach at Penn State until he's 90, or dies on the sideline, whichever comes first.

GMoney said...

Cool it, NW, there will be time for that tomorrow.

You have my condolences, MUDawg, since you root for the biggest chokers in NL history.

You do not have my condolences, Jeff, since you root for the biggest chokers in ALL of history.

That was a lot of fun last night...watching baseball. Best three minutes ever from Andino's walk-off hit that the worst free agent ever couldn't catch to Longoria's walk-off dinger. That was tremendous. A Yankee bullpen nuclear meltdown never felt better! Boston sucks.

Anonymous said...

Your constant use of the word "totes" needs to stop. It was cute at first, not so much anymore.

I could see Urban going to Penn St. Since JoePa hasn't recruited in 10 years, I'm sure Urban can light a fire under that program.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Oh and anything better than seeing Papelbon blow it last night? Simply hilarious.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

I could see Urban coaching at PSU. It's definitely a top program and I don't think taking over for Paterno would be that bad if it's a big name either. But, assuming that everything stays on course and the NCAA doesn't drop the hammer on OSU....OSU would definitely be his top choice over that. Plus, who wants to live in Happy Valley? As Pryor said...it's "too rural".

--Drew

GMoney said...

"Totes" and "OBVZ" help show that I'm not serious without constantly having to type THIS IS SARCASM.

There. I just let you peek behind the curtain for secrets of writing on the internet.

Which one was better:
Waivos Rancheros or Urban Goes Rural? Terrific...just terrific joke-making.

GMoney said...

Papelbon blowing it was outstanding but I blame Tito for that. He threw Aceves, Bard, and JP for like a week straight. They had to be exhausted. But whatevs, Papelbon is gay.

Text sent from me to Jeff this morning:
Thinking about your collapse gives me a throbbing boner.

Anonymous said...

One of the best nights in baseball in a long time. Witnessing Papelbon blow that save was a great moment. He is such a cocky faggot. I cant believe I will actually be rooting for the Yankees in the ALDS.

Seal

MuDawgfan said...

Need help from you Big10 fans. Is the Penn State job supposedly "less pressure."

One of the reasons Meyer left Florida was the intense pressure and 24/7 365 cycle of Recruiting/Preparation in the SEC. Competing against Saban, Richt, Miles, Bowden/Fisher for every decent recruit and then playing against the best teams in American every season simply beat the man down.

Does PSU offer him a more mild environment? He certainly doesn't have to play as difficult of a schedule as he would at UF - but the level of talent in Penn and the Mid-Atlanta is a big step backward.

I'm leaning toward this being a total crap report.

MuDawgfan said...

*Mid Atlantic

Anonymous said...

Seal..I love that you are so jelly (yeah...if G's using OBVZ and totes...I'm using jelly around here) of the Tigers that you are rooting for the Yankees.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I'll go with NW's prediction.. Tigers in 4.

What sanctions is OSU gonna get that would deter a big name coach from wanting to go there?

Urban has ties to OSU.. As far as I know he has none to PSU. I think IF he had an offer from both he would take OSU. Fo realzz.

It was almost as if the Yankees pitchers were trying to give that game away last night. Most of those hits in the 8th were off pitches right down the middle. The HR in the 9th was also right in Johnson's wheel house. Conspiracy!

GEAUX TIGERS!

Anonymous said...

MuDawg- I just LOL'd at your comment. Is it really hard to coach against Richt and Bobby Bowden? Also, Pennsylvania is a solid recruiting state. I'm sure there is more talent in Penn than in the Atlanta area.

Dut

MuDawgfan said...

Dut, that's the worst thing you've ever written.

Saban, Meyer (when coaching), Miles, Fulmer(when coaching), Richt, Bowden (Terry, Tommy, Bobby), Tuberville/Chizik, and Petrino never spent a moments notice at recruiting in Pennsylvania.

But I'll be damned if the Big 10 doesn't have offer letters LITTERED throughout the Southeast and its most populated city, Atlanta.

We could do without recruiting in your area a helluva lot easier than you could do without recruiting in ours. Period.

Here's a listing a listing of the Top 100 recruits for the class of 2012.
38 come from Schools in the the current SEC radius
20+ come from California and an additional 20 come from Texas.
http://recruiting.scout.com/a.z?s=73&p=9&c=4&pid=88&yr=2012

If you stuck to recruiting in the Midwest and didn't venture into warmer climates, you'd better prepare yourself for playing in a shitload of Motor City bowls.
Now go get your fucking shinebox.

Anonymous said...

Why does everything think Urban is interested in the OSU job other than him having 'Ties' to Ohio? Has he, or anyone in his circle claim that he has muttered an interest in coaching at OSU? Enlighten me.


- J Saul

GMoney said...

Anon, what did I say about ALDS predictions? Pay attention.

Conspiracy? Well, for one, Luis Ayala, Cory Wade, and Scott Proctor are all terrible. Two, it wasn't our job to get Boston into the playoffs.

Dawg, good to see that you took your hands off your throat long enough to comment today. I will say this about the PSU/OSU gigs. Expectations are pretty ridiculous here (although that isn't a bad thing). I would guess that thanks to Paterno, those fans don't demand national titles every season. So if he is looking for a slightly less hostile work environment, State College is probz where it's at. And PA/NJ is loaded with talent. He would be able to get whoever he wants from those states. It would definitely put a bit of a cramp into anOSU taking what they want from PA since JoePa allows it to happen now.

Something to think about.

By the way, I've already got my porn/baseball series analogies ready to roll!!!

Anonymous said...

And it was totes Waivos Rancheros

- J saul

GMoney said...

LAY THE SMACK DOWN, DAWG!

JSaul, good point. Has he shown any interest at all? He could have (although I can see why he didn't) taken the job in June if he truly wanted it.

Here's a thought that successful people such as myself often ponder: I'm from the great city of Nap, but I don't ever want to live there again.

Prime99 said...

L O L, Damman. Way to live up to your MSFL team name.

I hate the Cardinals, but Old Man Carpenter was damn impressive last night.

Anonymous said...

J Saul....Urban doesn't have just Ohio ties...he has OSU ties.

*He was born in Ohio.

*In his autobiography (I can't believe coaches write these) he has a whole chapter on Earl Bruce being his biggest coachign mentor and his second father.

*He was a graduate assistant at OSU.

*He met his wife at OSU/she was a nurse at OSU.

*He's said many times that he keeps a Buckeye in his pocket everyday.

So, no he hasn't said anything about the OSU job...and nor should he since that would be very disrespectful while the job is currently filled. But, there's not much doubt that he would have interest due to his past connections.

--Drew

GMoney said...

But once smart people leave Ohio, they don't come back. It's a wise move.

Anonymous said...

We thought that about Les Miles too.....

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

MuDawg- I am not debating that there is more talent in the South. I was comparing the entire state of Pennsylvania vs the Atlanta area- which is what you originally posted.

Those recruiting sites are also based in the south, and they also have more scouts in the south. Naturally, they rank players higher in the South. How have all those elite players worked out for Mark Richt the last 4 years?
How many southern players did Boise St have when they murked your ass a few weeks ago!?

Dut

Anonymous said...

J Saul...

I think Miles definitely wanted to be the head coach of UM the first time around (Dick Rod time), but the timing couldn't have been worse with the national championship thing he had to deal with and Herbstriet kind of fucked it up.

I don't think Brandon had any genuine interest in Miles this past go around.


--Drew

The Iceman said...

Dawg...There's less pressure at PSU because you can lose 4 games a year and still keep your job.

GMoney said...

Boise does really well in California though so they don't really need to go South (and they shouldn't bother anyway).

Georgia always has NFL talent...they are just poorly coached.

Recruiting sites are based in the South and this don't get an accurate depiction of PA? Huh? YouTube exists for a reason, chooch.

Anonymous said...

Drew just showed everyone why he is one of the best commenters on this board: he actually uses facts and data to back up his points.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the kind words Strut.

One more fact for J Saul about Urban's affection for OSU. Where did Urban go during Tebow's high school announcement for good luck? Well...of course he went and sat in row 45 of Florida's stadium...because 45 in honor of Archie is his lucky number....


Florida Coach Meyer had dealt with the anguish of waiting on Tebow’s decision by sitting on the forty-fifth row of Florida Field because forty five is his lucky number.

Read more: Tim Tebow Shares his Recruiting Experience in New Book | College Recruiting Blog - Athletic Scholarships Blog | NCSA http://www.ncsasports.org/blog/2011/06/22/charlie-adams-reviews-the-recruiting-chapter-in-tim-tebows-new-book/#ixzz1ZMSUrOWv

--Drew

GMoney said...

He sat in row 45 because it was Cecil Fielder's number. DUUUUUHHH!!!

Holy shit. I listened to Rome during lunch for the first time in a long while (The Luke Fickell call-in show is worse than being tongue-raped by a giraffe) and the clones are KILLING it today with their Red Sox ripping. I haven't laughed that hard at a radio show since Demetrius admitted that he wasn't book smart (last week).

Anonymous said...

Rome's show is infinitely more enjoyable to listen to than Demetrius and Rothman....been telling you that for a long time now.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Dang missed the convo.

I hope Lil Stuts comments wheren't directed at Drew's 'facts' that Urban wants the OSU job. Facts driving an opinion don't = facts proving a fact.

- J Saul