Monday, August 15, 2011

Here We Go Again

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
Are we seriously going to have to keep doing this every year?  Last summer, it was all about Utah, BYU, Boise State, Colorado, and Nebraska.  Now, apparently the landscape of college athletics is about to change again.  I'm not really sure if this is good or bad.  So I'm taking the perspective of "indifferent" just because the schools involved in the new shift are about as irrelevant as the DFL.  But let's talk about it anyway (because I feel that the commenting will pick up on this topic).

Word broke on Saturday morning via Doug Gottlieb (really?) that Texas A&M was going to the SEC.  He must have acquired this info while stealing someone's credit cards.  I don't really understand why the SEC would want the Aggies but whatever.  They were mediocre at everything in a far weaker league yet they are attractive to the best all of a sudden?  Makes no sense.  I think it's stupid to say that bringing in A&M opens up Texas for recruiting.  Uh, HELLO!  You are the goddamn SEC!  You already pillage and plunder Mexico's Hat.  It's not like Texans have never heard of the conference that wins the BCS Title EVERY year.  Again, what does A&M ACTUALLY offer that improves the league?  UPDATED after I wrote this:  SEC wants nothing to do with the Aggies!  Doug Gottlieb is a liar!

I do appreciate A&M's approach to this.  We're leaving because FUCK TEXAS!

Now we're being told that Mike Slive (Slive, not Slave) is prepared to build the first of the dreaded 16 team super conferences.  OK, I guess that that makes sense.  But who is a good fit for the uber-cheating of the ESS-EEE-SEE?  Florida State seems like a good option and Jimbo Fisher has them on the verge of being a national power again.  They're also considering Clemson and Missour-ah.  Those two don't make sense at all.  Neither of them are good at anything.  Clemson is about the most worthless school in the country as they gave us commenter Jeff and year after year of underachieving.  Missouri is pretty much the Clemson of the Dust Bowl.  Those schools just don't seem to really improve the quality of the product.  Fuck them, they're out.

If I'm Mr. Slave, and I've already accepted that pear-shaped loser, Mike Sherman, into my conference and need three more teams, I'm making these three calls first.
1. Florida State
2. Oklahomo
3. Oklahomo State

Let's face it, Texas is going independent as soon as they can (next year?).  So don't bother with them.  This is the SEC so media markets don't matter at all.  People are going to watch the product even if the ESPN primetime game is Kentucky vs. Vandy.  Why?  Because that's still better than 90% of the rest of the country.  FSU has always felt like an SEC school what with the grade fixing and pro talent that they crank out.  Oklahomo is consistently a force of nature.  Okie State isn't sexy but getting "Bedlam" under the SEC banner along with T. Boone Pickens' billions of dollars makes a ton of sense to me.

The rest of the Big 12 castaways end up going to the Pac-12, Mountain West, or Conference USA.  Notre Dame still acts like their shit don't kill videographers.  Maybe the Big Ten decides that Kansas and Mizzou make decent enough sense (especially for hoops) and the little guys continue to get kicked in the teeth.  The more things change, the more that they stay the same.  I guess that realignment is just something that we're going to have to live with for the next 5-10 years.

As far as DFL Draft Day, I would consider it a success even with the tardiness of numerous tards and -Rex's fake back injury.  I played one of the best rounds of golf of my life and absolutely BURIED Dut by 7 strokes.  Some dude in the group in front of us had a hole-in-one...ON A PAR 4!  I was pissed because it looked like he didn't even care.  Fuck that guy.  I would have played the rest of the round nude if I did that.  I'm basing my team's success (Caylee Anthony Makeout Party) on Brees, Osama Mendenhall, Fitzgerald, Boldin, and Tim Hightower.  I currently have Vince Young AND Randy Moss on my roster.  I guess that pounding a 12er during the draft could be considered a poor decision.  Oh well.  The previous two years, I loved my teams and they never made the playoffs.  If I'm indifferent now, that means championship...although I'll need to trade for Roy Helu, Jr to feel even better about that.  Adios.

19 comments:

Grumpy said...

I hope that was a typo and you meant "Casey" not Caylee".

Anonymous said...

I hope it wasn't.

Ide

Anonymous said...

It wasn't a typo. You're welcome.

--$

Mr. Ace said...

I think the Mizz, TAMU, Florida St, Clemson to the SEC move will happen within the next couple years. Every single one of those teams would benefit greatly from joining, and that is four mid to high quality teams that the SEC could bring in. I would swap Oklahoma for Mizz if Oklahoma was actually available, but I don't think Mizz is a terrible addition.

That will then pave the way for Toledo to join the Big Ten.

Dut got some queer to flash his wiener at us on High street at about 3:00 am.

Anonymous said...

It is not a typo.. And the team name he had before was even more gruesome!

The Big 10 should offer Oklahoma and Okie light. I think every school in the B12 wants to say FUCK YOU to Texas. Unfortunately the B1G heavily considers academics when making moves. Idiots.

I also didn't understand why the SEC would want Missouri, Clemson, or A&M. All shitty/mediocre schools that would water down the league.

The DFL draft had some serious delays. I blame Ide's cousin for not knowing how to drive. Little Caesars hot n readies were fantastic tho. Any team that features Arian Foster, Darren McFadden, and Roddy White will not be stopped (my team). Championship.


I wish I would have drafted Colt McCoy. Pro bowl guaranteed.


Dut

Anonymous said...

I didn't see the weiner flash.. Was that a joke? I did tell the FAG to pull is damn pants up. He was sagging his skinny jeans past his ass$ Nobody wants to walk behind a "faggot ass."

Dut

Anonymous said...

And that twat friend of his didn't like my comments too much. Hipsters and fags get what they deserve.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Little caesar's was mos def the MVP.

Clemson is terrible as is everyone whoever went there.

--$

Anonymous said...

Can we get a rundown of what happened at White Castle? I missed the events putting cancer into my lungs at the Hukah Bar.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Shit, I forgot about all of that. We went there to snag a crave case, which we ordered and paid for promptly. Then proceeded to wait for over 20 minutes. Behind us came in a bunch of black people and a homeless guy (also black). We were talking amongst ourselves and Ace and Moden made me stand up by the order window in case anyone of the likely suspects were to steal our cheeseburgers.

After about 20 minutes the crowd started getting restless, and were yelling back to the migrant workers behind the protective glass. Turns out they never bothered to take their order, which was humorous. The latinos were not to be trifled with and were amazingly brash to the crowd. In fact, she straight up refused service to the homeless guy, even though he had money. I think they assumed that all of them were together and just ignored them as a group (also awesome). Some heated words were exchanged between everyone and we finally got our food and ran the fuck out.

Ace promptly grabbed the next cab and ran out on the crave case. He probably has some better details about that occurrence.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Clemson bought their last recruiting class, so they are more than ready for some good SEC football.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Well there goes my Wednesday post.

When we walked into White Castle there was a white couple who had their food stolen!!! They were less than pleased. Homeless people are hilarious.

I really wanted some of that crave case but I was deathly afraid it contained superAIDS. Mrs. Ace came and picked me up at 3:45 am. She's a keeper.

I also told the queer with his pants falling down that Dut was eyefucking his butthole. I think that just made him pull them down further.

A Columbus Gold stripper also flashed her tits at Patio. Dut tried dancing on a table with her but the bouncer was having none of that.

Anonymous said...

3 studs + 12 scrubs = brilliant???

White Castle fucking rules.

--$

Anonymous said...

Im all for a concise retelling of that night. Especially since it started with the faggiest shots ever purchased in a bar by men.

Anonymous said...

Anybody got a good chiroporacter in Columbus? I think I slipped a disc.

-Rex

The Iceman said...

White castle is for the white trash and prostitutes.

Mr. Ace said...

It's a fucking bomb pop shot, dude. Made of Smirnoff ice, semen, and more semen.

Also, we rolled up to the bar scene listening to Big Tymers- Get Your Roll On. You're welcome.

Around here, between Normandy and Westin, we call this here a lil twenty twen twen, riiiight, n word.

Prime99 said...

Ace's long time love of the Big Tymers is slightly scary and mostly hilarious. Wh-what-wh-wh-what?!?

I have never been to White Castle. Is it actually good like In And Out or shitty good like McDonald's?

GMoney said...

I love the Big Tymers just as much as Ace. CASH MONEY AIN'T DEAD!

White Castle is an acquired taste yet delicious.