Monday, August 29, 2011

CFB Preview Day 1: Notre Dame Will Always Suck

Touchdown Sexual Assault/Suicide, amirite?
Hey, it's College Football Preview Week here at Da Shot. In case you are knew to this, it is five straight days where some of our least favorite commenters collaborate to get you ready for the season. It's utterly terrible! We're back to the original crew of contributors this season (sorry Li'l Strut!): Damman, The Wig Master, Drew, GSaul, Dut, and myself. I promise that GSaul actually tried this year. Anyway, day one is all about overrated and underrated teams. Enjoy

Damman: Overrated - Virginia Tech. They have been on my overrated list for the past 3 years and I see no reason to change that. You can pencil these guys in for at least 3-4 losses every year followed by a bowl game ass whooping. I have done zero research on their roster, but it’s a slam dunk they will end up being overrated again this year. Throw Michigan State in here too as we all saw they were frauds last year against Alabama and they won some flukey games which won’t happen this year.
Underrated – Purdue. Don’t laugh. They have a lot of starters back from a team that lost five games by a touchdown or less last year and was riddled by injuries. RB Ralph Bolden and QB Robert Marve being two guys to keep an eye on this year now that they are both back healthy. The Boilermakers will go at least 7-5 and maybe 8-4 and go bowling this year.

The Wig Master: Overrated - LSU. Ol Uncle Funk $ says (mama’s little baby likes it) short and sweet this year. Hey, just like She$ says once every six months, I can probably do that. Overrated headed into the 2011 campaign are the LSU Tigers. Number 3 in the nation, not going to happen. Averaging 13 points a game, and the last eight years or so of football, tell me that LSU is not ready to finish in the top 5.
Underrated - Ohio State. This pains me to say, but the OSU Buckeyes. Now, the circumstances certainly merit a number 16 spot, but there is still enough talent in Columbus (and a weak schedule) to make a run, and finish in the top 12.

Drew: Overrated - Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State is never a top ten team. They also play road games at three ranked teams plus at Texas. They will finish with four losses...not even close to their top ten ranking.
Underrated - Ohio State. If Ohio State can beat MSU with their B team they will make the B1G Championship Game...far from a #18 ranking. OSU has more Rivals 100 players than the rest of the B1G COMBINED. The cupboard is loaded still and they will finish closer to 5th overall than 15th overall.

GSaul: Overrated - Notre Dame. The Fighting Irish have lost two years in a row to both Michigan AND Navy. This team should not even be in the top 25, let alone ranked #16. Brian Kelly cannot even decide on his starting QB. They have at least three losses guaranteed on their schedule (MSU, USC, and Stanford).
Underrated - Pitt. High expectations in 2010 (#15 preseason ranking) resulted in a disappointing 8-5 season. The Big East is weak, and West Virginia really only stands between the Panthers and the conference's automatic BCS bowl bid.

Dut: Overrated - Ar-Kansas and Auburn. Both teams lost their Mr. Everything QB who was able to elevate these normally average teams to #1 and #2 in the NFL (I mean SEC) last year. Who is going to bring you back when you’re getting murked by Alabama again? I don’t even know the names of their QB replacements, but they’re not Cam Newton and Ryan Mallet. Auburn shouldn’t even be ranked. Both teams will have at least 5 losses.. GUARANSHEED.
Underrated - USC. They still have the most talent in the PAC-12 BY FAR. Plus the RBs have all been inside the Kardashians. They will finish at minimum #2 in the PAC-12, and will be ranked higher than #25 as they are right now.

G$: Overrated - Notre Dame. I just looked at the AP poll and the Irish are ranked ahead of Ohio State, Florida, USC, and defending champ Auburn. No fucking way. Notre Dame will always be mediocre at football. But killing and raping kids...top notch!
Underrated - Texas. Unranked? Really? They aren't going 5-7 again for a long time. I think that they are going to start Colt McCoy's brother this year. He can't be any worse than Garrett Gilbert. A lot of teams got revenge on the Horns last season, they get some of that swagger back this Fall.

I've got to admit, I'm loving that LSU call now that multiple starters are going to the state penitentiary soon. Stay tuned for tomorrow when we have...OTHER STUFF!  Happy MSFL Draft Eve!

55 comments:

The Iceman said...

Shocking that an OSU fan picked OSU as underrated.

Grumpy said...

I enjoyed those summations, and can't really quibble with any of them. Notre Dame is WAY overrated.

Anonymous said...

While you should be very nervous with a teenager qb AND a green head coach, I agree that the Fuckeyes are being underrated this year. And I know a lot. Just look at how I constructed my G$FL team...nothing but Cowboys, Bills, and a guy who is holding out right now!

If you're curious, I got Chris Johnson at 10, then Burner Turner coming back, my boy Romo in the third, and Dez in 4. I'm ok with this. If Romo fucks me then I just get to hate him even more!

Get your ass into camp, CJ2K!

--$

Anonymous said...

That ND/UM game in week 2 at night is gonna be very interesting. Obviously if ND has any chance to live up to their ranking they have to win that one.

The LSU pick definitely does look good now that their QB thought it was a smart move to practice kickoffs with human heads.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

I'm being unbiased as I possibly can, I don't think the Fuckeyes are being underrated. Their offensive line is questionable at best, especially in pass protection. Joe fucking Bauserman is the starting QB, not exactly a guy known to be fleet footed. A new coach...A BRAND NEW FUCKING COACH. Suspended players. There is going to be a drop off. A big drop off.

Toledo is underrated. I recently purchased my Toledo v Fuckeyes tickets and I cannot wait to hear the 'shoe go quiet when my Rockets come out victorious. This shit is happening. Toledo is losing two games at the most. Top 25.

Anonymous said...

Regular season and MAC title game to the RedHawks, bitchcakes!

Pfffft, the atmosphere for UT/OSU will be nothing like Monday Might Raw (next week!).

--$

Anonymous said...

Ace- are you really hating on Bauserman for not being fleet footed? He is a fucking pocker passer, you douche.

What do you mean by "a big dropoff?" 3 losses?

Obviously OSU is a huge wildcard this year. However, the talent level on that team is better than #18 in the country. Is it really a stretch for someone to think they're underrated?

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

I just purchased a vintage Macho Man purple t shirt for RAW!!!!!!!!

Your O line sucks. Bauserman is a sitting duck. So yes, I am ripping him for being slow. Pryor covered up a lot of those flaws last year. Was that really that difficult to comprehend?

Eric Page for Heisman

Anonymous said...

The line went from questionable at best to sucks in 2 posts.. Whatever u need to say to help an argument!

Dut

Prime99 said...

I had one hell of a Craps roll last night- made 8 passes. At some point I started WOOOOOO'ing like Ric Flair and warned everyone that I'd be stylin' and profilin' soon. The roll was so great, I did get to S&P. It's the only time people will tolerate that shit- when you are winning them money! (The mention of RAW made me tell that story.)

It is boreline ridiculous that this is my main source of education on College Football.

Anonymous said...

Good call on ND, they'll get Nard Dog'ed under the lights early.

I'm just happy the GARUNSEED is back, I assume there will be at least one GARUNSHEED in each of these post this week. Otherwise you all suck as predictors.

From what I have read about the LSU players, didn't they just beat the fuck out of some D Bags who started a fight with them? And should the only lesson that comes out of it is '5'8 white guys shouldn't pick fights with 6'4 black guys'?

GSaul coming out of the wood work? I think last year he has MSaul write his!

Finally, I find it hilarious that you have to root for Cowboys all season now. Romo to DEZ for a TD, that is something that has to make you happy this year and it shouldn't.

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

It's not unthinkable to say OSU is underrated, just predictable when an OSU fans says they are.

That's a solid team start right there, G$. I had a draft last night that was an absolute disaster. I was forced to take Felix Jones in the 4th round and Mark Ingram in the 6th. If I didn't I would have been stuck with Daniel Thomas and CJ Spiller. But I have Brees and McCoy in a keeper league so it wasn't a total loss.

-Iceman

Anonymous said...

It was a business decision, JSaul. Strictly business in my war room. I was not going to get fucked by Peyton again.

Prime, if truly wanted to act like Ric Flair, you would have lost all your money but act like you were still loaded. That article about Flair on grantland last week was outstanding.

Dut, OSU's OL is worse than a line filled with 5 clones of commenter Daniel!

--$

Prime99 said...

WOOOOOOOOO!

Ric Flair would be happy to know that at least someone is making money with his schtick.

Anonymous said...

Since when did OL with 2 first round picks (Brewster and Adams) turn into terrible OL lines? I realize Adams is suspended for five games..but we still should be favored in all five of those games.

The Bauserman talk is silly. He will eventually lose his job to Braxton...just like Boeckman did to TP and that team went to a BCS bowl.

Also...I get a good chuckle out of Ace thinking that a team that lost 65-30 to Northern Illinois last year is going to come into the Shoe and win.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

I have it on good authority, don't want to out my sources, that Jim Bollman is the worst O Line coach in the history of football. When is the last time a Fuckeye lineman panned out? Those fags aren't going in the first round. And just because 40% of your line has talent doesn't make it good.

What does last year against NIU have to do with this? How bad did the Fuckeyes beat Northwestern in 2003? What happened in 2004? Flawless logic there choad.

Anonymous said...

Ace- generally what happened last year is the best predictor of what will happen next year. I assume that's how you came to the conclusion that osu's line sucks? You are so dumb today.

Dut

Anonymous said...

I'd be willing to wager with you Ace that Brewster or Adams will be a first round pick. Hell Brewster is pretty much everyone's consensus pre-season Remington Award winner for best Center.

What does the fact that Toledo got prison raped by Northern Illinois and lost in their bowl to Florida International have to do with this year? It means they aren't taking some quantum leap up to a level where they are going on the road and beating a top 15 team. That's what it means.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

It's pointless to argue with anOSU fan about their players and the NFL draft. They always believe they have elite NFL talent at every position when it's questionable at best.

-Iceman

Mr. Ace said...

Yes Dut, how a team performed last year is the best predictor as to how a team will perform this year...that right there is the reason that Vegas/books/online betting sites rake in loads of cash off morons like yourself. I bet you picked Auburn to win the national championship, right?

And Drew was referring to a single-game(I know Drew was just ripping Toledo and not serious...unlike yourself). But yes, Toledo's game against NIU last year is the best predictor for this years season. Again, flawless logic.

I retire and there is an immediate spike in fucktardation.

PWN

Mr. Ace said...

Wow, Drew wasn't joking. So dumb.

Anonymous said...

Ace, Ohio State's OL has close to 80 starts among it's returning starters and Brewster is the best center in the nation. I acknowledge that TP opened OSU's offense up a lot last year, but I would bet OSU is still in the top 3 in the B1G in rushing this year. Also, do you really think Braxton miller will be a sitting duck back there? He is going to open up the offense just like TP did his freshman year. Also, last I checked Nick Mangold was the top paid center in the NFL.

Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Iceman- I believe OSU has had the most players drafted over the past decade, and is at the top or near the top in 1st round selections. But you're right, pointless to argue with them. I bet you thought Pryor would go undrafted the day of the supplemental draft?

Ace-its a combination of what they did last year and who is returning. Because Auburn lost a few of their best players, no, I won't be betting on them. You are extremely ignorant today.

Dut

Anonymous said...

"It's pointless to argue with anOSU fan about their players and the NFL draft. They always believe they have elite NFL talent at every position when it's questionable at best."

Maybe it's because OSU currently has 48 players in the NFL which is by far the most of any school in the Big Ten/top three overall? I mean...that would be a silly stat to factor in wouldn't you say?

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

LS, good call on Mangold.

My point was focused towards protecting Bauserman, the starting quarterback...Braxton won't be able to do what TP did. I think they will run well. But the pass protection wasn't good last year, AND AS WE ALL KNOW that is the best predictor to determine that their pass protection will not be good this year.

OH DUT, SO ITS A COMBINATION OF THINGS?!?!? I thought it was just what the teams record was last year. There are other factors other than how a team did last year??? Please enlighten me, because I thought it was how a team did last year that was all that matters. That's still the best predictor though, right?

The Iceman said...

Fucksticks. The key word in my statement was ELITE. Since both of you are fucking idiots let me define that for you.

Representing the most choice or select. Best.

There is a difference between NFL talent and elite NFL talent. Of those 48 please tell me how many are actually impact players. The funny thing about sending the most players to a professional league is that you most likely send the most busts as well.

-Iceman

Anonymous said...

A lot of teams got crushed by NIU last year. Not my Redhawks though. We sick.

Toledo is a lot better than that team you rolled in Cleveland two years ago. And you aren't better now. It will be interesting.

Drew, centers rarely go int the first round. Troof!

--$

Anonymous said...

Iceman defining elite is mighty Cowherdian of him!

--$

The Iceman said...

It's pretty clear Drew has no clue what elite means. Figured I would help him out.

Anonymous said...

"The funny thing about sending the most players to a professional league is that you most likely send the most busts as well."

Who gives a flying fuck if they are busts in the NFL? Most likely it means they were studs in college still.

You act like I'm making up that Brewster and Adams are thought of as first round picks right now. Even if Adams isn't...he's not falling out of the second round.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

G$...I know that about Centers, but everyone has Brewster going in the late first round. Not sure if it matters if he's a first round pick or not...he's still the best player at his position in college football.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

We give a flying fuck because it means if they bust in the NFL, they were never an elite NFL talent...WHICH IS WHAT YOU GUYS THINK YOU HAVE AT EVERY POSITION EVERY YEAR.

Anonymous said...

Ace- you're too stupid to argue with. This has gotten lost in retarded comments by you, but my original point was to show how stupid you were for bringing up 2004 games when Drew was referring to games that happened last year.

Can anyone besides lil strut, g$, drew, myself and jon say anything intelligent today?

Dut

Anonymous said...

I would argue that the line this year is better than it was in Terrelle Pryor's first year. I would also argue (along with many recruiting experts) that Braxton Miller is a better passer than TP was his fresman year (when OSU went 10-2). Also, Braxton is a terrific runner with elite speed for a quarterback. The difference between him and TP is that TP was a straight line runner who was very strong. Braxton Miller is more shifty and seems to be a combination between Troy Smith and TP. OSU is going to be just fine. The offense will only look slightly different, and the Buckeyes will seriously contend for their 7th straight BCS bowl appearance. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

Delusional much? People forget quickly how much Pryor did for the Fuckeyes.

David Molk is the best center in college football.

Dut, you stupid inbred carl edwards salad tossing fucktard faggot(said with love), my point to Drew was the the Fuckeyes beat NW by 20 in 2003 and then NW beat them in 2004. GET IT!!! NW was not the same team in 2003 as they were in 2004!!! CAN YOU FUCKING GRASP THAT? Can you connect the dots from that argument to the argument for Toledo being better than they were last year? Of course you can't. Why didn't you die at Bristol?

Anonymous said...

I GARUNSEED Michigan wins the B10.

There Dut can I now be part of the group that isn't making intelligent comments?!

I'm interested in the conclusion on who is considered ELITE vs. GOOD, vs. OK vs. Serviceable vs. had a few good years vs. could have beens vs. BUST. Its going to be hard to look up those stats lol.

I hate siding with OSU fans but they seems to bring facts to the table, which disappointments me. I'd rather argue ignorant opinions any day of the week!

GO BLUE

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Isn't it widely agreed upon that Jim Bollman is fucking terrible at his job? I swear that you Bristol Cherries always bitch about him. Now that he's calling the shots FO REALZ, isn't that scary?

CFB Preview Week is off to a great start.

--$

Anonymous said...

JSaul, just along as we don't go back in time to argue the definition of "overrated" again. Worst day of my life.

--$

Anonymous said...

Ace- are you forgetting that OSU had won 4 consecutive B10 championships prior to Pryor? He was a great QB, but I have a feeling OSU can manage without him.

Dut

Anonymous said...

"We give a flying fuck because it means if they bust in the NFL, they were never an elite NFL talent...WHICH IS WHAT YOU GUYS THINK YOU HAVE AT EVERY POSITION EVERY YEAR."

I'll play this game. This is off the top of my head, so there is probably more to this list.

Santonio Holmes
Nick Mangold
Malcolm Jenkins
Kurt Coleman
AJ Hawk
Beanie Wells
Will Smith
James Lauranitis
Donte Whitner
Brian Robiskie (lol)
Brian Hartline (lol)
Ted Ginn
Antoine Winfield
Mike Nugent

I can count 14 players that are starting right now in the NFL.. That is a pretty solid amount of elite talent. Now if you're talking HOF bound/yearly Pro Bowl players, go fuck yourself, you're retarded. But having that many playing right now, most of them at skill positions is pretty impressive. Again, these players are starting, my lol's clearly indicate that some are lucky to be starting, but to me, starting in the NFL means you're an elite talent. But for the sake of this argument, I'm sure the bar is much higher for you.

Take that 48 figure and the arbitrary 14 i used above, that means roughly 30% of our active players are elite. This figure doesn't include any of the rookies this year that are included in the 48 (Not a stretch to think Cam Heyward will start, and the Bears are shitty enough to have Dane start (lol)). This conversion factor is not bad, and I would love to see something similar to another schools. Not saying OSU has the highest rate, but also not saying its shit like you mentioned.

So tell me, how many elite players does your shit school have?

Ide

Anonymous said...

Ide...well done. Facts have a funny way of making people look stupid.

You also forgot Jack McQuaide the new starting long snapper for the Rams....oh hell yeah! Rob Sims is a starting OG too...pretty damn good one too.

G$...I have way more problems with Bollman over his recruiting than I do his coaching.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Ted Ginn blows. Don't ever call him elite again. If the Dolphins don't want you, just kill yourself.

--$

Mr. Ace said...

This isn't my argument, but...what the hell. Michigan players of the top of my head:

Charles Woodson
Tom Brady
Brandon Graham
LaMarr Woodley
Jake Long
Steve Breaston
Braylon Edwards
Morgan Trent(that fuck)
Leon Hall
Jay Feely
David Harris
Mario Manningham
Zoltan Mesko(Punters are elite, right?)
Steve Hutchinson

That's actually a lot more than I thought we would have. According to ESPN there are 38 active Michigan players in the NFL.

Our list looks much better than yours.

Mr. Ace said...

Toledo has more players in the NFL than Miami(OX) and BG combined.

The Iceman said...

Santonio Holmes
Nick Mangold
Malcolm Jenkins
Kurt Coleman
AJ Hawk
Beanie Wells
Will Smith
James Lauranitis
Donte Whitner
Brian Robiskie (lol)
Brian Hartline (lol)
Ted Ginn
Antoine Winfield
Mike Nugent

This is your elite list? Pretty pathetic. And you had the balls to put a kicker in there. Well, if you count Santonio Holmes as elite than that means Braylon Edwards and Mario Manningham are both elite since they've produced similar numbers as Holmes. Ted Ginn being elite means that Jason Avant and Steve Breaston are both elite...see where this is going?

You're giving names of NFL starters, not NFL elite talent. While the names you mentioned were elite college talent, that doesn't mean they're elite NFL talent. When people think best WRs, Santonio Holmes isn't in the top 10. Elite is Tom Brady, Lamarr Woodley, Charles Woodson, Steve Hutchinson, etc.

Anonymous said...

I added an addendum to that line of logic. It read something like "go fuck yourself, you're retarded". That is simply an idiotic argument to have. So you're simply blaming colleges, whose sole job is to recruit excellent college players to make their team better, for not recruiting for the NFL. Last I checked, OSU, or any other college for that matter, wasn't a farm team. But nice try scooter, I'm sure you win a lot of water cooler arguments with that line of logic.

Are you blaming UF right now for the Tim Tebow debacle?

Ide?

Anonymous said...

This is a retarded argument. None of you win. Please stop.

I guess "elite" is the new "overrated" here. Good to know.

Stop.

--$

The Iceman said...

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Does OSU put a ton of people in the draft? Yes. Do they have multiple first round draft picks? Also true. Do they have players in the NFL that are considered elite at their position? No. When I think of any position in the NFL, there isn't an OSU player in the league where I can say, "That guy is one of the best at his position." Except for Nick Mangold. Other than him it's all average run of the mill players.

Also, according to NFL.com's 100 best NFL players of 2011 Michigan has 4 on the list where OSU has 2.

Anonymous said...

Overrated

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Comment # 50.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

#51...probably a new record. Also the same as NW's high school football number and he once shit his pants during practice. Never forget!

Can we please call it a day? Hell, we've still got 4 more days of this. I'm looking at you, Ice-diggity.

--$

Anonymous said...

Let's backtrack a bit here so I understand Iceman's original point. Why do we care how successful a player who came from OSU/Michigan is in the NFL? What does that even tell us? Tom Brady sucked in college, but is awesome in the NFL. Tim Tebow was awesome in college, but sucks in the NFL. What does this all mean!?

Also, the Jets re-signed Santonio and told Braylon to suck a fat dick. Santonio > Braylon
Me>everyone

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

There's that flawless logic again.

Anonymous said...

What did I JUST fucking say, Dut?

--$

Anonymous said...

This is a retarded conversation that needs not be repeated ever. Let them get it out.