Friday, July 15, 2011
First things first, I'm breaking my vow. As I have mentioned numerous times here in the past, after The Decision, I would never say "his" name again. Now I lasted over a year on that vow having only slipped up twice and, to be fair, I was pantspoopingly blitzed both times. But since it's been a year and the wounds are starting to heal, I think it's time to let it go. Sure, the grudge and hate will always be there for Gloria's Bastard and God knows he's earned it, but it's time for me to be the bigger man...
LeBron James. I literally cringed when I wrote that but I've got to do what I've got to do. Now that that is out of the way...YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Why the fuck do we have to hear about LeBron's goddamn Twitter response to every little goddamn thing that happens? Who actually cares about this? Why does his opinion matter AT ALL? Who at ESPN thought that this would be a good feature? I get it. Twitter is a big deal right now. It's not something that I will ever do (because I'm 2 cool 4 school and people that use hashtags are faggots), but I understand it's purpose. It exists for dumb people to seem dumber than usual by remarking on things that they have no clue on. Right, Rashard? If LeBron James takes five minutes away from sucking his own cock to watch the end of a World Cup game and to "add" to the drama with a "USA! HOPE SOLO!", what is the purpose? Athlete Tweets are even less relevant to anything than Mr. Ace's dick. Completely worthless.
It's just so random and nonsensical. Does it matter what LeBron (or any other athlete for that matter) thinks about Derek Jeter's 3000th hit? No it does not. I guess that I shouldn't blame him though (for once). This is clearly ESPN trying to be hip and cool again yet they continue to miss the mark. They probably think that it is harmless and fun but it is not. It is both dangerous to people with suicidal tendencies and more boring than church. But what else would you expect from the people who recently brought us the cultural cesspool known as Grantland (which is TERRIBLE, Chuck Klosterman is a goddamn ferry) AND removed the announce team from the celebrity softball game in lieu of Erin Andrews trying to do play by play while managing the American League. WHERE THE FUCK WAS GARY THORNE and why was nobody telling me who the celebrities actually were! Totally ruined that game for me which I usually love. Fuck James Denton, too, but you already knew that. FUCK YOU, ESPN, FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!
Either way, I would just like to go a month without hearing from ESPN what LeBron James thinks about something not pertaining to basketball. I only listen to people with rings...which is why I still have Donyell Marshall's cell phone number in my phone. I have no idea if he ever won a ring, but I just wanted to remind people that I have D-Marsh's digits.
That's it for me this week. I'm heading up to the true gem of the Midwest, Put-In-Bay, tomorrow for K-Dog's bachelor party. I'm jacked as I haven't been up there for a few years. And yes, we are staying in an actual haunted house. Seriously. Black's family house on the island is haunted. Just ask The Dutchman (who will hopefully tell some tales in the comments regarding the ghosts of the Thompson House). I've heard plenty of stories of him freaking the fuck out in that place. But that's where the booze comes in, my good man. See you on Monday...hopefully I'll still be drunk.