|Charlie Batch's son???|
In case this is all new to you, USC RB Marc Tyler has gotten into some hot water this week for some extremely drunk remarks that he made to TMZ. He implied that USC pays better than the pros, I think, with his breaking bread remark. The dumbass with the camera then randomly spouted off with "University of Spoiled Children" for some reason (which is a stupid insult in my personal opinion). Tyler responded delightfully, "University of Sexual...BALLERS". Because he is an idiot. TMZ posted the video. Tyler's old man publicly apologized for having a braindead fucktard for a son. And finally, USC AD Pat Haden suspended Tyler for the first game this year for it.
You know what...I love it. I don't hate one thing about this story. The setup was hilarious and the fallout was awesome.
First of all, if I am supposed to be a stud running back for one of the best programs out there, at no point would I consider (even drunk) talking to some random buttfucker on the street holding a camera. Not in today's world. Second, Tyler knows that his beloved Trojans may have sort of just got into SERIOUS trouble. It would probably be for the best if he didn't imply that they were paying everyone on the team. For that matter, how the hell would he even know what the NFL pays anyway? What a stupid question. Tyler gets a stipend from the school and nothing from the pros so of course USC breaks bread for him. Third, when in doubt or when someone asks you something that you don't understand, just imply that you are a demon in the sack. You know, a real fuck lion. That never fails. Let's try this at home:
You: Hey, G$, what's going on with these gas prices?
(five seconds of confused silence)
G$: Tell your old lady that she gives toothy BJ's.----It NEVER fucking fails.
Needless to say, if this incident was an at-bat in a baseball game, Marc Tyler just got called out on strikes after three pitches. He deserved to be punished even though nothing that he did was illegal.
I absolutely love that his old man went out of his way to call his son a dipshit. He didn't have to, but he wanted the world to know that "MY SON IS A STUPID TAINT". With all the crappy over-parenting being done these days, an incident like this is extremely refreshing.
By the way, Pat Haden has been putting on a clinic for Awesome ADmanship ever since he was hired away from Notre Dame color commentary. You want to embarrass the USC Football program? Eat shit, buddy, you can sit on the fucking bench for awhile. Some whiny fucks think that Tyler's suspension is ridiculous. Those people are wrong for the same reasons that James Harrison was wrong. Freedom of speech is a great thing to hide behind, but there are consequences to running your mouth. And those saying that "he's just a kid"...please. Tyler is a senior in college. That excuse works for high school kids, not cocksuckers that can legally drink. The courts consider you an adult when you turn 18, I have no idea why others wouldn't either. It's just making an excuse for immature behavior. Bravo, Pat Haden, I totally respect your game.
Needless to say, after all the smoke has cleared and the punishments for each school has lapsed, I can't wait for the 2015 Rose Bowl game with the University of Sexual Ballers doing battle on the gridiron with Ostrich Sex University. I'm sorry--THEEEEEEEE Ostrich Sex University.
In other awesome college football news, did you read the snippets from Mike Leach's new book? Outstanding stuff. Craig James absolutely seems like the kind of asshole who would pimp his son out and claim to have some sort of royal bloodline. Craig James fucking sucks. ESPN should lock him in a shed without oxygen. Long live the pirate!