|NO DECENT POST FOR YOU!|
*Naptown Wolverine is a horrible person. Whether it be constantly talking about his accomplishments in the field of "ass-to-mouth" or doing his usual of parading around the house fully nude, he rarely fails to disappoint. He and I also managed to get into a massive drunk screaming match outside of a bar (which ended up being a huge misunderstanding but I'm sure that it didn't look very good).
*Soccer can now go back to being irrelevant. I, like all good Americans, slept through the first 90 minutes of that snoozefest only to wake up and watch quite a lovely collective deepthroat. Pathetic. I think we should deport all of them. They blew it twice. Which do you prefer more: Choke Solo, Hope Choke-o, or just Choke Choke-o? I'm glad that "we" lost though. Now everyone can stop pretending to be fans of this annoying sport. Julie Fouty is absolutely terrible as a TV analyst, too. NOBODY CARES IF THE OBAMAS ARE WATCHING.
*Swim-up pool bars are the greatest but I'm pretty sure that every girl in Ohio could afford to lose 15-20 pounds. Jus' sayin'. The hour of drive time on SR 4 is the worst hour of your life. I nominate that stretch of highway for worst road ever.
*Japan may possess a trophy that no one cares about, but I've never seen an uglier collection of Asian women in my life. That was very disappointing. Their goalie looked like a troll doll. And who was working at the Yoko Health Spa in Toledo during that game? I need to know who was dispensing the rub and tugs!
*As I mentioned late Friday in the comments, Damman had the pleasure of listening to an ex-con prisonfuck some skank on Thursday night. Well, on Saturday morning, K-Dog's cousin puked on Damman's forehead! That is hilarious. It was not the best weekend for D.
*Darren Clarke won the British Open. I like it. I respect any man who brings booze to his post-win press conference. It's also nice to see that loser Mickelson back to choking like he plays for the US Women's Soccer Team. Phil sucks. People that cheer for that queer should kill themselves.
*Two underrated things from The Bay: 1. K-Dog found a 3 inch by 2 inch clear hard plastic "$" at the bottom of the pool. We made it into a necklace and I wore it to the bars that night. It was tremendous. I still have it. I think that it might turn into the G$FL Title. 2. I think that NW and I played catch with a football (with beers in hand) for close to an hour and it still remains a damn good time. "Catch" is very underrated as a beer-drinking event.
*Finally, I guess that the guy who played The Soup Nazi on Seinfeld was at PIB on Saturday. Hilarious. And as far as I could tell, the ghosts left us alone. Oh! And I was able to finally start a sentence that began with, "Since we're talking about pedophilia".
I'm tired of typing. I want to lay down. If you want to complain about today's post, please drop your critique into the complaint box which looks an awful lot like NW's ass-crack. I'll be back with something worse tomorrow.