Wednesday, July 13, 2011

If I Could Change The World


For the sake of the human race. I hate people. I hate all kinds of people. Black, white, yellow, gay, straight, bi-curious, hermaphs, rich, poor, Drew, it doesn't matter. My hatred is purely based on stupidity. Specifically stupid people who keep on breeding. Intelligent people are being outfucked at an astounding rate and something needs to be done. Often times when joining the debate between pro-choice and pro-life, I create my own platform: pro-abortion. That's right, I see your drug tests for welfare checks and raise you making background checks a requirement for birthing. If you don't even minimally contribute to society then your baby gets scrambled on the spot. And you have to queef it out right there too, no selling off parts for meth.

I've always felt this way, but there was a debate about Senate Bill 5(I promise this will not be political) in one of my classes this week that sent me over the edge. SB 5 is trying to introduce "merit pay" into the school system instead of pay increases being based on tenure. I'm all for this because there is an incredible amount of inept people in this system that don't give a fuck about what they do but are protected by their crazy strong union. I figured I would be surrounded by like-minded intelligent people in a graduate level class, but I was wrong. I was surrounded by smug idiots. The kind that drive hybrids, smell their own farts, and think the news they just read or heard is the end-all-be-all of news: This got my philosophical juices flowing. People like this need to be exterminated, but they can't because they are protected. Being a human being--at least in industrialized countries--makes you a member of the largest union in the world. You are born with rights, privileges, and the knowledge that you are thee apex in this world. Even if you are the shittiest person in the world, you are protected. You can commit the most heinous of crimes and still be protected by this union, and sometimes even allowed to go without consequence. And then you're let back out into the world to spread your seed without mercy. Hell, you can even make babies while you're locked up. Our species is becoming dumber and dumber because of this.

What is the only species in the world that allows its misfits to reproduce? Human beings. If we were lions and there was a litter of myself, G Money, Iceman and Drew, the king of the jungle would have made Drew and Iceman into cannibal victims immediately so as to not pollute the gene pool. It's not about fairness or rights, it's about preserving the health and continued success of a species. Why does every other species get this but us?

What I am proposing is that the right to birth be taken away. If you're a Fuckeye fan; Vasectomy. Enjoy the feeling of young boys butt holes(synonymous with Fuckeyes); gas chamber. Feel rapey; penectomy(please click the link). Have 19 kids by 23 fathers; sow that snatch shut. Cut me off on the highway; quartering. In the Qin dynasty men who were sentenced to death had the option to take castration instead. The Qin people fucking got it. It's time to drop the hammer on the fucktard non-contributors in this world because they are all around us fucking other fucktards and making superfucktards to fuck other superfucktards. The shits gotta stop.

I feel better.

KKK. Of course G Money had to steal my thunder yesterday, but I don't give a shit. Killer Kyle Kalis committed to the good guys a couple days ago and it was oh so sweet. First Dodson, now Kalis, and next will be Bri'onte Dunn. And that hiring of Vrabel just reeks of desperation. "Lets hire a guy who just three months ago was arrested for stealing from a riverboat casino. Parents will love him!" What's that? He's never coached...ever! Fickle just couldn't hide his Vrabel boner. Now they can play tummy sticks just like they were back in the dorms.

Kyle Kalis gets it. He was a huge Fuckeye fan. He believed in Tressel. He committed to be a Fuckeye. Then he found out Tressel wasn't nearly the individual he claimed to be, the University couldn't make a comment without lying, and he wanted to decommit. Fickell convinced the kid not to decommit, which I can't imagine was too hard to do. But in the end Kalis couldn't ignore what he knew, the Fuckeyes are a bunch of fucks. He made his decision and now everybody is all butthurt because they got dumped at the prom.

Drew, and all you other Fuckeyes, are pathetic for bashing a 17 year old via blog comments because he made an intelligent decision. Seriously, fucking pathetic.

Michael Irvin is gay.

34 comments:

Grumpy said...

Wow, time for some anger management classes. Or drugs.

Anonymous said...

HEIL ACE! I'm quite certain that your opening rant about creating the super race was directly out of Mein Kampf.

If I was a Lion, I would totally kill Drew first and my name would be Herman Moore. Or Robert Porcher. No wait, I would kill Dut first.

--$

Grumpy said...

On second thought, Iceman would definitely be culled from the herd; he has no redeeming qualities. Drew on the other hand has only one fault, that being he's an Ohio A&M fan; other than that he's a good guy.

Mr. Ace said...

That did get a little angrier than intended, but the point remains the same; communism had it right.

Anonymous said...

Dodson? Yeah....Vrabel was a terrible hire. Stupid to hire somebody that Belicheck and Bruschi put out statements saying was the smartest football player they ever coached/played with. Stupid. You're a moron. And yes...Kyle Kalis has a huge gigantic pussy and I hope he meets the same fate as Austin Hatch.

I don't see why we need to kill people. But, I've been a strong proponent of the government putting birth control in the water and then if you want to have kids you can apply for a pill that would undo the birth control in the water. There would still be morons having kids, but there would definitely be a ton less.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Drew....I like your idea. Not nearly as fun as mine, but I like it.

Belicheck also thinks Mallett is the next Brady. And Bruschi is half tard after all those concussions. DESPERATION!

Brian Wilson said he had garden gnomes in his beard cutting down trees. He is probably my favorite baseball player.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy....your boy James Harrison is mad...

NEW YORK -- Heavily fined Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison calls NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a "crook" and a "devil," among other insults, in a magazine article.

"If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn't do it," Harrison told the magazine. "I hate him and will never respect him."

His other descriptions of the commissioner include an anti-gay slur, "stupid," "puppet" and "dictator."


--Drew

MuDawgfan said...

The first paragraph is the type of hate I expect from G$ around Week 7 of the NFL Season. Very nicely done sir.

I think Vrabel will be a huge help on the recruiting trail and a great teacher in the film room. Not sure how we'll he'll make on field adjustments - but that's a learned skill anyway. I kinda wish David Pollack would come back and help the Dawgs a little bit.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Ace for once. Just by looking at my facebook, I can see that the dumb kids from class (some didn't even graduate) have a 10-1 ratio on passing on their seed over us elite. I can think of a lot of ways to fix this, but my beliefs would offend too many people.

You should at least have some type of skill/quality about yourself to recreate besides being able to sit on a porch and collect food stamps.

I'm not sure anyone on this blog should be able to recreate either (besides Drew and myself of course because we are clearly superior). Did anyone even have a 3.0 GPA in college? Lil Strut doesn't count because he was a nerd and actually attended class. Grumpy is also exempt because his seed has dried up. Iceman will have trouble attracting a mate without rape or drugs. Mr Ace gets a pass only because Mrs Ace is smart and hopefully her superior genes will take over. G$ has used up all of his seeds looking up internet porn. Commenter Daniel should have already passed on his seed 30 times by using the "I play football for OSU" card. Instead, he got wifed up to his slave master at a young age. He should be punished.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Here's the truth on Vrabel: he will have zero impact at all. Hear me out.

When was the last time that osu had linebackers that sucked and needed to be coached up? Never. LB is never a weakness. They won't be any better or worse with this newbie coach. That being said, Spielman was a great LB, too, and got fired as arena coach for being horrific. Just because you're good in one area doesn't mean that it transfers. And who really cares because he's going to be looking for another job in 6 months.

My internet porn seed bank is doing well, than you very much.

--$

Anonymous said...

I bet Spielman would be a fine LB coach...just not a good head coach because he's dumb.

Your other reasoning is dumb, because they definitely couldn't have hired a better person than Vrabel for this year. Should we pillage fucking Akron's LB coach? Yeah that will help. Vrabel's name definitely could help things this year.

So, James Harrison definitely will get suspended for calling Goodell a faggot right? One would think that won't fly.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Mr. Ace, Fuck YOU!

-The Dutchman

Anonymous said...

It is simple, ubt I nominate the dutchman's comment for comment of the year. Other nominee that I can think of is when Iceman implied that Dolph Lundgren and Glenn Danzig were sex symbols. That still makes me laugh.

--$

Grumpy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Ace said...

See what I mean? The Dutchman should have been aborted.

I think Vrabel is a big splash and the public will like it, but it's a risk because there is no guarantee he can coach. Spielman has even said before that he wouldn't go back to coaching because he "doesn't want to go back to being that person again." I imagine him raging like Lattimer and making people piss themselves.

There needs to be a The Program 2.

Mr. Ace said...

And did you know that the guy who played Lattimore in The Program also played Leatherface in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre? He would have been much scarier as Lattimore with a chainsaw.

The Iceman said...

I only rape in georgia. Where apparently its legal to rape and drive drunk. Allegedly.

Dolph and glenn can rope in top shelf pussy. Its a documented fact.

Anonymous said...

Ditto, ACE, Ditto. It's simple math, Dumb out populate the smart, the Dumb get put into office and make dumb policies to give the dumb people more rights, DUMB take over the country. Ammeerrriccaaa.

I don't agree with the hate on Vrabel, since when does a linebacker coach make that big of a difference? He's a big name with a stellar NFL career and can only help recruiting. Like G$ said, since when has anyone sat there and said 'OSU needs to work on their linebackers....'

Go Blue

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

I'm lovin these backhanded compliments for OSU today.

Dut

Anonymous said...

I'm lovin these backhanded compliments for OSU today.

Dut

Anonymous said...

I'm loving your backhanded handjob technique, Dut.

--Shook's Son

The Iceman said...

Vrabel got that job because he participated in circle jerk sessions with fickell in college. You can't deny a big portion of that was a buddy hire situation. The guy has zero coaching experience & landed a job it takes most people years to build up to.

Was vrabel a good pro? Sure. Do people rave about his football intelligence? If you say so. But greater linebackers and smarter linebackers than vrabel have bricked in the past. Being awesome on the field doesn't always translate to being an awesome coach. They could've done worse, but I just don't see how this is that significant.

Grumpy said...

Iceman, stick to something you know, like diddling little boys. The Vrabel hire is significant if you are a linebacker being recruited. Many linebacker coaches never played the position; he brings instant credibility when he's in a prospect's home, plus the celebrity factor.

Anonymous said...

Ace,

I am very suprised by your views on SB5. I thought someone of your political ideology would have been all about tenure. Welcome to the good side, Ace! We will invite you to our next meeting where we discuss what we can name after Ronald Reagan next.

I like the Vrabel hire. He is not the greatest athlete, so you know he stayed around the league for so long because he knows the game very well. Not to mention, three super bowl rings cannot hurt when you walk into a recruits house. The fact that he "knows what it takes" to play LB in the NFL cannot be underestimated. Ohio State has lost the top LB in the state the last two years. I don't see that happening any longer.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I've admitted time and time again that I know nothing about recruiting, do position coaches actually make housecalls? Especially ones that have never recruited anyone before? That seems like a bit of a stretch and let's not forget that when you hire Herm Edwards next year, he probably won't be on the staff. Which only makes this a good hire in theory (at least for the next 12 months).

FUCK FRANCE! Lousy cunts can't even send our lesbos back to our American kitchens where they belong.

--$

Anonymous said...

Yes...I believe you are allowed two home visits, but each coach is allowed to only visit once. So, Vrabel and Heacock could make a visit.....and then Fickell would make his own for the close.

If nothing else, if there is ever a Cage Match where you get to pick two assistant coaches off your staff to get into the cage. Ohio State would whoop every team in the NCAA with Fickell (best heavyweight wrester in Ohio history) and Vrabel. Be crackin' skulls.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Hokeamania owns them both with his 24 inch pythons. Mark it down.

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