|Ahhhh, my arm! Now I know why Tigers eat their young!|
Lakers - Whoa, the shit hit the fan fast and furious. I didn't see that one coming. One thing is certain though and I know this from experience, something happened in that lockerroom. Something DEFINITELY happened behind the scenes to cause the champs to look like they didn't care. I'm betting that Steve Blake fucked Gloria James and she gave him lupus which they told the public was chicken pox. That's my guess. I didn't mind seeing them fall apart though. That entire dynasty was built on interracial hotel rape. And at least they went out with class! The Artest face-rake, the Kardashian 'bow, and the Bynum forearm shiver really helped my enjoyment factor. And let's also mention the topless court-leave by Bynum. Just a classic way to end your season.
Phil Jackson - I've always liked the guy. You can't punish him for not taking terrible jobs. Dude is smart. And his advice to Rick Carlisle that "you don't smoke peyote" is still making me laugh. The guy's coaching career just ended and he's giving drug tips. AWESOME. Mark Cuban telling him "don't quit, we need you" when he was walking off the floor just goes to show that Cuban is a whiny little bitch.
Barea - Can you blame Bynum? I would tackle the shit out of this little fucker if he came to the rack against me.
Rondo - Congrats, Rajon, you are the first mortal enemy of mine to give me a fan-boner. THIS GUY is a fucking warrior. I wouldn't even get out of bed if I dislocated my elbow. But he just goes back on the floor, wins the game, comes back in game 4 to start, pwns shit again, and (I'm writing this in the 2nd quarter) I guarantee leads the C's to victory and an even series. GUARANSHEED. Celtics fans eat that shit up. One more time, Rondo is the fucking man.
Wade - Yeah, you're a dirty player. I'm not saying it was intentional, BUT he did unnecessarily throw Rondo down. He takes little shots like that all the time. Fuck that guy.
Retarded - #6 said that it's "retarded" to call Wade dirty. Nice word, choice, ya bastard. Global icon...except at the Special Olympics I guess.
Bosh - Still terrible. Openly admits that he was scared/nervous to take the floor in Boston. This guy is the least deserving superstar of all time. What a bitch. I wouldn't mind seeing a Memphis/Miami Finals just because Z-Bo would average 40/20 against the Boshmallow.
Teague - Who here saw that Jeff Teague would be a competent point guard? I figured that he'd be worse than commenter Jeff.
Boozer - Who is less productive: Carlos or Bosh? They both blow. And I don't want to hear that shit about him having a toe injury either. Guys that backstab blind dudes don't get the benefit of the doubt.
Westbrook - KNOW YOUR ROLE. You should never ever shoot more than Durant, kid.
Z-Bo - Am I crazy to say that I am freaking loving the Zach Randolph experience right now? It's a fun ass ride. The guy is still covered in blubber but he's unguardable! Everyone of his shots hit the rafters yet go straight through the net. I don't think that Durant is crazy for saying that he's the best PF in the game right now. And I also love how Z-Bo publicly agreed with that statement as well.
Tony Allen/Battier - I don't think that it's that far-fetched to say that the Grizz can make the Finals. Why? Because they have these two guys that d the shit out of the other teams wings. And that is huge. What an awesome dynamic that Memphis has. Great post players, playmaker at point, an enigma capable of anything with Mayo, and two shutdown swingmen that can also score. It's a fun team to watch.
And for us losers, the lottery is one week from today! Terrence Jones went back to UK, I see, which has to be the first player ever to go back to Calipari. So am I to believe that he actually kept going to class then? No way. How about a prediction for the Finals since who knows when we'll talk hoops again: REVENGE IS A CUBAN DISH BEST SERVED COLD (I don't know what that means)...Dallas over Miami. That will make G$ a very happy sex machine. By the way, as a tribute to Beanie, I did not proofread this at all. Come on, typos!!!