|Robin Williams stole this guy's Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1997.|
*Manny is a piece of shit - If he was hoping that his retirement annoucement would spark a glowing retrospective of his career, he was dead wrong. The dude has ZERO chance of getting into The Hall. Why? Because he failed steroid tests TWICE. How dumb do you have to be? So now I have to think that he used them his ENTIRE career. He almost had to, right? I mean, the league institutes a steroid policy, he knows about it, fails anyway, come back, sucks, takes more drugs, and then fails it again. What a bukakketard. It is pretty funny that instead of serving his hundred game suspension, he's just "going to take his old man to Spain". Moral of the story: The Boston Red Sox two best players from their World Series teams are cheats and those titles should be stripped. 1918, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap. Manny will not be missed...well except by those who enjoy leftfielders cutting off the centerfielder's throws.
*Break up the Tribe! - Don't be foolish. This won't last. But Indians fans have to be pleased with their 7-2 start. Now let's see if they can get more than 9K through the gates again this season. And beating up on Boston and Seattle, the two worst teams in the league, isn't that impressive anyway.
*Mike Pouncey is fucking nuts - The Gator center said that he expects Dallas to draft him in three weeks. That would mean that he would go 9th. I don't know about you, but I remember this fuck tanking at least 800 shotgun snaps this past season. He may be a great blocker and line-caller, but if you can't even snap the goddamn ball, what good are you? So yes, I would like Dallas to draft this chode.
*Pistons are sold, still dumb - Some billionaire bought the Pistons. Don't worry though, because apparently Joe Dumars will still be with the team in his current role. Whew, I was worried that the Pistons might not be in the lottery for the rest of the decade and now I know that they will. Dumars should just change his name to "Black Millen".
*Seriously, hide yo kids, hide yo wife - Art Schlichter has been granted bail!
*Congrats, kid - Miami's Andy Miele won the Hobey Baker award on Saturday which is the hockey Heisman for those that don't know. Well deserved but it's a damn shame that I have to root against him now that he is with the 'Yotes.
*Charl-broiled the field - Worst Masters winner? Worst Masters winner. Out of ALL of the guys near the top on Sunday evening, I didn't want this guy to win the most. He is terrible. Don't give me the world ranking shit. No one wants to watch this fuck. Louis Oosthuizen has more charisma and cache than this poopbreather. A South African? Get fucked. What a turd. He ain't no fucking BERNHARD LANGER, motherfucker! My boy Tiger and his putter just couldn't keep it going and that was a damn shame because he was surprisingly decent off the tee. I will never understand why he pulls out his driver. Just use your three wood! It's what I do and look at MY successes on the course, goddammit! I didn't expect to see McIlroy gag on as huge a nuts as he did either. He should change his last name to McMickelson with that round. That guy is a tool anyway. "RORS" on the back of your hat? Really? And I HATE it when golfers where their sunglasses backwards and upside down on their head. TAKE THEM OFF. It was nice to see Adam Scott not do his usual sucking. Belly putters are for homos though. Jason Day is plugging a girl from Ohio and she appeared to be insanely hot. Nice work, Aussie. I hate Jim Nantz. Verne Lundquist should be the A announcer. He wouldn't hump Butler Cabin as often as Nantz does. Mickelson is still a buttfucking cheese taint. Charl Swartzel has a green jacket...thanks for wasting my time.
Ummmm, that about covers it for me today. Charl. What kind of a fucking name is that? Africa sucks. Kill Mandela!!! Bring back Apartheid!!! I will freely admit to not really knowing exactly what apartheid is/was although I do know that it was bad so if you want to educate me in the comments, I'll allow it. For now, I'll just assume it's Ernie Els raping Gary Player. Oh and watch The Killing on AMC, best new show on TV. It's no Justified, but it still rules.