|Oh. You didn't know? Ryan Kerrigan's middle name is "Shane Stant".|
WINNER - The Browns. HUGE winners. What a haul for the #6 pick. I'm glad that their front office was smart and decided that a WR isn't that important in the WCO. Because they aren't. Julio Jones would have been a waste of a pick there. Drafting "flash" is ridiculously risky. Instead, they get a monster deal which remind of what the Skins got for Ricky Williams. Nice work. I like Phil Taylor, too. He WILL stuff the middle...something they haven't done in a coon's age.
POTENTIAL LOSER - The Falcons. Julio Jones better become a fucking superstar. He fucking better. Tom Dimitroff doesn't come off as a GM that would be this bold. Julio better ball and ball fast. Oh, and go hit the unemployment line, Michael Jenkins.
WINNER - The Redskins. This is more for my sake. I had a bad feeling that they would take a terrible quarterback but they did not and smartly traded back. They got a high second rounder (now 3 picks in the top 50) and drafted Jeff Gilooly's son, Ryan Kerrigan. It's not sexy but I didn't want a sexy pick this year. After watching Al Haynesworth for the last two years, seeing a guy try will be a welcomed sight. I like it just because it was a solid football decision...and the more white guys, the better. And he did sack Terrelle Pryor as well!
LOSER - The Titans. Jake Locker at 8. They cut Vince Young only to draft a less accurate and skilled QB to replace him. They will be in the top ten for the next decade.
TENTATIVE WINNER - The Lions. Drew texted me that Jim Schwartz (this sites favorite coach) said that Nick Fairley was a dream come true. I like how my boy is dreaming about big black life-enders. Good God, the Lions D-Line will not be stopped. But I'm a little nervous here because their secondary and offensive line still suck. Fairley didn't address any of their issues. I guess that's why there are 6 more rounds.
HUGE LOSER - The Vikings. Christian Ponder is someone that I liked...in the late second round. Mel called him "Chad Pennington" about 40 times during the telecast. Would you be happy if your team drafted Chad Pennington at #12? Didn't think so.
WINNER - The Jaguars. I sort of like Blaine Gabbert and they had the balls and moxie to go get him. Now Blaine gets a year or two to learn from the sidelines. Saavy move from a usually stupid franchise.
LOSER - The Texans. Worst secondary ever so they go draft a DE? Huh?
WINNER - The Colts. Big white guys who can protect Peyton are more than welcome in Indy.
HUGE LOSER - Peyton Hillis. Thank your Lord and Savior on your own time, queer. He'll be out of the league in three years. He sucks.
WINNER - Bud Light Cans. Thank you for helping me get through Jon Gruden's terrible analysis.
NOT REALLY A LOSER - The Eagles. A guard from Baylor? Way to reach for the stars! Actually, it's a good pick. I may be sort of drunk right now, but this joke that I just told myself and the dog made me laugh. "With the 23rd pick in the Draft, Andy Reid selects a meatball sandwich". I don't care, that's funny! I should host the AVN Awards next year.
Eh, I'm just going to assume that nothing crazy happens over the last 8 picks and focus more on my drinking/couch. In conclusion, on a sad note, a streak was ended tonight. For over a decade now, I have screamed "SUPER BOWL!" as soon as the Redskins' pick was announced. That did not happen this year. So sad. But then again, it hadn't really been working well anyway. Enjoy the rest of Draft weekend, fuckers.