|Only pussies spray air freshener post-dump.|
*He's baaaaaaack - Grady Sizemore has returned to Major League Baseball after microfracture surgery and a stint in the minors. Sure, he may have stiffed the local media while on assignment in Toledo last week but what do you expect? The guy has a busy schedule of striking out alot and taking iphone pictures of his dick. By the way, the Royals and Indians (at the time of this being written) are tied for first in the Central. What a terrible division. Both of those teams are terrible. All five of those teams are rotten. It would be nice if the Tribe stopped teasing fans and went back to being awful.
*The DERP Locker - I read an ass-ton of mock drafts. I don't know why because none of these writers have any clue but I do it anyway. I will never understand what people see in Jake Locker though or why he is projected as a first rounder. If you can't play in the Pac-10, why do many all of a sudden think that he will now be able to shred Rex Ryan, Belichick, etc. defenses? If the Redskins draft this loser, I will cry.
*Rock Bottom - I think that we can now officially call JaMarcus Russell the biggest bust in NFL history. Last week, he was fired by a goddamn life coach. How is that even possible? The only person on the planet more worthless than life coaches is actually JaMarcus. That "coach" was former Cavs coach, John Lucas. Wow. Some might think that JaMarcus is a cautionary tale for why taking a QB high is a big risk. I disagree with that sentiment wholeheartedly. Because at the end of the day, no matter how risky the pick, you can always say "well, he can't possibly be as bad as JaMarcus". Which is exactly why Cam Newton is going to go #1 (speaking of which, my mock draft will be revealed next Thursday).
*This is working out well - Just two weeks into the season and Boston has benched their 9 figure man, Carl Crawford. Hilarious. He should just change his last name to Pavano already and get it over with.
*Hey, Drew - I was talking to this Pens fan the other night and they said that the CBJ should trade Rick Nash. I disagree with this although he should definitely not be wearing the C. Umberger should get that. How can they trade him and get anything remotely comparable? Thoughts?
*Nick Saban is an asshole - Alabama erected a 9 foot tall statue of this douche and unveiled it this weekend. I know that they do this for every Bama coach to win a title but it's still lame. Well, at least I know that if I ever turn into a bird, I will be pooping on this thing on a daily basis.
*Forgot this last week - How could I forget this in my Cavs season wrap-up post from last week? Legendary radio man, Joe Tait, hung up his mic and Cosby sweaters last week and he will surely be missed. Tait might have been the only announcer that called games by himself and he was/is freaking awesome. You will be missed, Joe.
Umm, that about covers it. Before we go, I would like to compliment Drew for his tardery this weekend. Since A-Rod left Saturday's game with a stiff back, douche extraordinaire seems to think that that makes him right about the 2011 MVP being injury prone. Eat shit. You know nothing. Go back to worrying about your "ace" making terrible "plays". That was the whitetrashiest throw in the history of baseball. You are terrible. Just like this post. I apologize. It's insincere, but it's still an apology.