Friday, April 08, 2011

From The Desk of...Drew Again

Needs more Nasty Nate.
Sorry, peckers, I don't feel like writing anything new for today.  I was going to, but then I watched Grown Ups.  I would rather have more surgery than watch that movie again.  I didn't laugh once.  It was atrocious.  So to take us into the weekend, how about a story from Drew that revolves around him and his sex slave getting arrested for being high?  Sounds good to me. ----------------------------------------------------------
So, back in high school we used to smoke a lot of weed and dabble in some recreational drugs (mushrooms, tussin, "E" a couple times). Well, one of my best friends...we'll call him Tony... and I always wanted to try acid for some reason. But, we never got around to it in high school and made a vow to do it when we went to college. Tony and I went to seperate universities, but Tony came across some acid during that first Fall and then came one weekend to Columbus to do it.

So, that night we start smoking weed and then take our acid. That shit was fucked up. We basically walked aimlessly around campus looking at weird shit. We probably took too much as it was almost too intense and there were times that we just sat there and kind of mumbled back and forth to each other about seeing shit as we were too fucked up to converse with each other. Fun, right?

Well, after about four hours of this...say around 1a.m....we are finally coming down yet still pretty fucked up. We are smoking weed on campus when all of a sudden we see some bike cops ride by below us. Obviously, we were paranoid as hell and decided it would be good to get up and walk away. We start walking away and then all of a sudden these three bike cops drive up right next to us and start searching us...said they smelled weed in the area. Of course they find some weed on each of us and our pipes and proceed to arrest us.

Getting arrested is never fun....getting arrested while tripping on acid for the first time is the exact opposite of fun. The only thing that I'm grateful for is that they didn't catch us hours before, because I honestly think our hearts or brains would have exploded we were so fucked up. They then cuff us up and put us in the back of a cop car and take us to the cop station. In the station they put us in seperate rooms and chain one of our legs to a bench. I remember asking the cop sitting at the desk in front of me, "So, what are you guys going to do to us." He then answered they would take us downtown to the jail. A couple minutes went by and I asked, "So, what are you guys going to do to us." The cop looked at me like I was the biggest retard and said, "You just asked me that same exact question." I think I laughed and said I was just nervous or something and tried to change the subject. I remember looking at the floor while I was chained up and the whole floor was just swirling and I could see shit in it....I couldn't believe how fucked up of a situation we were in trying to not act super retarded so they would just keep thinking we had smoked weed.

They finally took us downtown and I remember when they told us where to walk to get our pictures taken we both walked the exact opposite way. The cops started laughing and said, "How much did you boys have to smoke tonight?". We kind of laughed and said, "uhhh..a lot I guess". We ended up getting out in the morning and then the whole thing got dropped down to a disorderly conduct, because I guess the whole search due to smell from the beginning was complete bull-shit. But, it was an incredibly intense night and there were moments of fear and paranoia that I wish on very few people.
Speaking of drugs, I'll say it again that vicodin is fucking weak sauce.  I thought that it was all going to be trippy and shit but it's basically Advil.  How do homos get hooked on this shit?  Should I be snorting it?  How about rectal insertion?  Am I doing this right?  Either way, the worst part is eating cold and soft food.  Fucking terrible.  And the McDonald's down the street ran out of milkshakes yesterday.  What a fucking embarrassing establishment!  Anyway, I'm rambling.  I'll be back on Monday with something terrible.


Mr. Ace said...

Drew, tell us about how you used to drop GHB in girls drinks and they still wouldn't go home with you. That's real entertainment.

Grumpy said...

Well, at least Drew will never be president with that record hanging over his head.

Drew said...

Grumpy....plenty of presidents have done shit like that I'm sure. The weed was knocked down to disorderly conduct and has since been expunged...I'm clean biatch.

Ace...I think I was accidentally GHB'd sucked.

G$...I've snorted vicodin...doesn't do much except get to you quicker. You need those percocets (sp) those are some damn fine pain killers.

GMoney said...

I can't belive I'm at work now. Fuck that. And I'm starving. Gogurt and pudding suck. I want some ribs, mothafucka.

Mr. Ace said...

G$, I had ribs last night....and pulled pork and chicken. How's that for a big ol fuck you!

DRew, I had a friend who got roofied at a party. He was fucked up. Ended up butt naked on the coach n the middle of the party. I don't believe he was raped tho.

MUDawgfan said...

Drew, was it campus cops that arrested you?
Seems like they took it pretty easy on you if so, would your treatment have been worse if you got arrested by Columbus City Cops?

I don't understand how you and your friend can get high and walk around calmly and get arrested while people take shits in public in other people's coolers after OSU football games and nothing happens... :(

Drew said...

Ace...the night I think I got roofied was about five years ago. Got home from a bar and puked for hours....felt like complete garbage the entire next day...didn't even drink very much...something happened that just kicked the shit out of me.

MUDawg. Yes, they were campus cops. I don't think anything differently would have happened if they were Columbus cops as they still most likely would not have known that we were on other drugs than weed. They just presumed we were two stoned kids. The fear of them somehow finding that out was terrible at the time. I really can't fathom what would have happened if they had caught us a couple hours would have been a terrible taking us to the psych ward bad.

Chowda said...

Freshman year at University of Vermont, a kid across the hall from me took four hits of acid and drank a pint of Southern Comfort. Then he went for a mountain bike the dark. Needless to say, this didn't end well.

At the height of his trip, he hit a curb, went over the handle bars and knocked out three of his teeth. As he was sitting on the curb, bleeding all over the place and trying to figure out what happened, the police and an ambulance showed up.

He became marginally combative with the ambulance crew and the police ended up having to restrain him. It snowballed from there and he ended up strapped to a table in the ER and having to be sedated for the next five hours.

He is an elementary school teacher now.

Drew said...

Chowda....that's a damn strong story with a fantastic ending.

Anonymous said...

The only thing I've done even remotely close to that is go to school high. That shit freaked me the fuck out so I can only imagine the fear of getting arested while high AND tripping balls. No thanks.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea I've been associating with such bad kids. Drugs=bad.

Drew- you would have died and/or dropped out of school if you lived on my floor my freshman year at BG. Every drug imaginable was there if I wanted it. I think there were 3 or 4 dealers on my floor alone. Every Thursday when I'd actually go to class at 830 AM, there would be a group of dudes who were blown out of their minds standing outside smoking cigarettes still up from the night before. I like to think my DARE training kept me away.


Drew said... Senior year of high school we had "open lunch"..which meant we could leave school and go wherever for our food. Which obviously meant we went to someone's house and smoked weed. I had countless afternoons of "high" school that year. Getting arrested on all that shit is beyond terrifying.

Dut...that sounds like a decent time. The acid experience was a one and done...never even contemplated doing it again. I pretty much quit weed and everything after that Freshman year and turned my full blown attention to the booze and haven't looked back since.

GMoney said...

Booze is always the answer.

Anonymous said...

Booze never hurt anyone...but it does cause 31 year old men to nearly fall asleep in a strangers front yard then hitch hike across town to pass out.