Thursday, March 03, 2011
So the missus and I scoured the pretty expansive website and decided on a really nice patio set (table and 4 chairs). Now I have no desire to eat meals outside but she's wanted one ever since we moved in so what the hell. And since She$'s birfday is the day after Christmas, I was going to roll this bad cat up into one mega-present that would satisfy both days. It's because I'm smart and lazy. Simply put, we found a set that was normally priced at over $1200 and got it for somewhere between $575-$600. Not cheap, but could have been worse. And the best part about it was the free shipping.
I ordered it in early December. My online receipt email told me to expect in late January or early February as it was arriving on a truck and not via UPS/FedEx. Whatever, you don't need a goddamn patio set during the winter in central fucking Ohio. In late January, I inquired to CSN as to what the shipping status was. I was less than impressed with the outcome.
Apparently, when I ordered the set, I did not include a texture preference (whatever the fuck that means). Keep in mind, they processed the order anyway and charged my credit card. Since there was no texture choice, did they call or email me to ask what I wanted? They did not. They canceled my order without any notification! I called up a cust serv rep with them who was very nice and re-processed the order in late January with our texture solidified. A slight delay that could have been rectified if the company cared about customer service, but oh well. The new date of arrival was late Feb/early March.
On 2/23, I get an email saying that our purchase was at a warehouse in Dallas and would be shipped via truck within a few days. The estimated date of arrival was 2/28. I began to see the light at the end of this horrible tunnel. They would call me the day before it arrived to work out the delivery details. No call on 2/25. No call on 2/28 eventhough the tracking status said that the shipment had arrived in Columbus.
I called them up on 3/1 and they confirmed it was there. I set it up to have them deliver it over my lunch hour yesterday (which was to be between 11am-1pm) and to call me when they were on their way so I knew when to leave work. So at 12:15, I take my normal lunch break and head home. I eat lunch, take care of the dog, pick up some backyard dogshit, and glance at my phone at 1. Nothing. I call the delivery service (which is out of Hilliard called YRC and I believe that stands for "Your Rectum Caved-in") to find out where the fuck they are since I set up this appointment THE DAY BEFORE. The delivery asshole had one more stop to make and then he would be at my house by 2, I was told. Not ideal, but fine.
At 3, now having waited three hours, I call them again and I am LIVID. I am being a complete and total asshole. The dispatcher tells me that the driver:
1. Called my cell phone an hour ago and
2. Couldn't get his truck into my apartment complex
This is hilarious because:
1. I received no phone calls and
2. I don't live in an apartment. How many fucking people living in an apartment would order GODDAMN PATIO FURNITURE!
I ask if he can come back. Of course he can't. After making his fake phone call to me, the driver went to some other place and picked up a shipment which forced my package to the front of the trailer and now was not accessible. Fantastic. I just wasted a half day on a CHRISTMAS PRESENT purchased LAST YEAR! So dispatch wants to set up another pick-up time for tomorrow (which is today by the time you read this). I say no, I am not taking time off from work again to sit around my house and watch the dog sleep for three more hours. She said that they could deliver the package after I got off work around 6:30 which is fine but makes me wonder, WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN DONE YESTERDAY, FUCKO! I was told on Tuesday when I initially set up the drop that they do not do deliveries after 4...I guess that changes when you fuck someone up the ass.
What makes this even better is that it probably isn't over either. From what I can tell, it looks like the only box coming is for the table. I highly doubt that a table and 4 chairs can be fit into one 91 pound box. So three months after I initially ordered my wife's Christmas and birthday present, half of it will arrive tonight. I would not be shocked at all if it came in broken to shit. Oh you motherfuckers. I bet that they try to screw me over on these chairs, too, by saying that they weren't part of the order. Fuck that. G$ may be an angry blogger but he ain't made out of $600 outdoor tables. He needs his chairs, too. I expect the 4 chairs to arrive in 2015 and I will probably have to drive to Biloxi, MS to pick them up.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that CSNSTORES.COM and YRC are the worst goddamn companies on the planet. That, and I probably won't be able to make it to Trivia Night tonight. It has nothing to do with my teammates but for the simple fact that I am going to murder the delivery man and be forced to go on the run with MY table in tow. Someone has to pay for this with their own blood. It will be the delivery guy. He will feel my wrath.
One thing is certain, if this fucking package EVER arrives in full, I am eating every goddamn meal outside for the next three months. And even then, it still won't be worth the rising blood pressure and the subsequent manslaughter trial. It will be a cold fucking day in Hell before I write up a product review for them. Here's their review: Their store sells AIDS babies and I wouldn't recommend them to anyone.