HAHAHAHA!!! What a great weekend of college hoops! The Final Four is set. NONE of us saw this one coming and we'll get to that. But first, it's time to take a knee, look to the heavens, open wide, and slide Seal's scrotum into your mouth. The Money Shot's one and only UK fan deserves it. So let's discuss that. Yes, you can take his balls out of your mouth now. I already did.
*GO HOME BUCKEYES - The weekend got off to a lovely start obviously when Billy Buford's 14th miss of the game sent the #1 overall seed home for the Summer. Outstanding. Now, obviously, most of you Buckeye fans are still probably pissed off but that was a GREAT basketball game. Just amazing from start to finish. It wasn't really sloppy. The athleticism was off the charts. Josh Harrellson throwing a 95 mph fastball at Sullinger's chest was sick. It had it all. And before we slam the Buckeyes for a poor shooting night, that number is kind of skewed due to all the block shots. I think that UK had 9 or 10 so it's not like they were just chucking up bricks all game. UK just defended them REALLY well. I thought that Cal mentally beat the shit out of Matta (which happens every year in the tourney for Thad unfortunately...he just isn't a great in-game coach). Thad SHOULD have told Buford to stop shooting. Sullinger wasn't the best, but I would have kept feeding the beast anyway. I felt like they forgot about him for too many stretches. And correct me if I'm wrong, but anOSU did not sub ONCE in the second half. You can't do that no matter how skilled your players are. You just can't. But the important thing here is that OHIO STATE IS OUT! WEEEEEEEE! Time for you bandwagon jumpers to focus back on your dirty football program!
*They're all coming back? - Don't overreact. Of course, Buford, Sullinger, and (for some reason he was asked although I don't know why), DeShaun "Mac from Night Court's Son" Thomas are all coming back. What else are they going to say? They just got upset and the pain was fresh. I'll believe it when the deadline passes. The important thing is that Jon Diebler will never play basketball in America again...and that is awesome.
*Best Coach in the country - There is no argument against this. Brad Stevens is the shiznit-o-bam-snip-snap-zap. He is the best mind in the game currently. It isn't even close. That fucking beanpole can coach. Butler is just so awesome. I had The Sports Reporters on in the background while I was writing this portion and the normally insufferable Mike Lupica had a rare great point. Last year was a real life version of Hoosiers. But Hoosiers the movie never had a sequel. We are getting that now. I am sooooo on the Butler bandwagon. I want these kids to win so badly. And if they end up playing Kansas (this bullet written before that game), I look forward to seeing how much Steventud outsmarts idiot Bill Self. That is going to be enjoyable. "GO BULLDOGS"--Nate Marroquin (Damman might be the only one who gets that reference but it is an amazing reference).
*But let's not forget about - Shaka Smart. Holy shit. He should just pack his bags now because he can name his price anywhere. How about them fucking VCU Rams? Well done. But then again, the years have proven that it isn't hard to beat Bill Self in the tournament. If somehow a rowdy band of hobos could get into the dance, they would beat Kansas by ten plus. Bill Self sucks. Never forget this. That title that they "won" because Memphis gave it to them really hides the fact that Self is a rotten coach.
*Cheaters do win - And then there's Kentucky who is going back to the Final Four. Whatever. At least we have a villain to root against next weekend. Jim Calhoun is a scumbag, too, but he ain't no Cal.
So here we go, possibly the most bizarre Final Four of all time. UConn and Kentucky should be entertaining and is chock full o' pro talent. But then we have Butler vs. VCU. What a strange game to be nationally televised. They both earned it though. Can you think of two other teams that have played better than these two over the past two weeks? I can't. Which tells me that they belong. And either that's incredibly cool or just shows how weak college basketball is this year. Maybe a little of both I suppose. Either way, the Bulldogs or the Rams are playing for a national title next Monday and that is awesome. And since I picked Duke to win it all a week ago, my prediction to cut down the nets next week is Kemba Walker and Company.
No more Buckeyes. Maybe next year...probably never.