Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Just Figure It Out Already

Tiki and Ronde?
I can't be the only one who is sick of hearing about the NFL Lockout.  It hasn't even been a month yet and I feel like it's gone long enough.  I don't give a fuck.  No one is going to get what they want so just bend over, take "just the tip" instead of the full footlong, and keep cashing those big ass checks.  All of you.  Don't fuck with us (the fans).  We may seem like the type of pussies that will always be there, but who really knows if that is actually true?  I don't.

All along, I was on the side of the past and present players.  It's almost always the workers that are getting fucked in these strike type situations.  But I don't feel that way anymore.  I'm sort of "asexual" when it comes to this bullshit now.  Here is why I can't side with anyone but myself:

The Owners - Have you read anything coming from this side that made you sympathetic to their cause?  They held the networks hostage for all the TV money this year even if their is no season.  They take public jabs at guys like Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.  Roger Goodell might as well change his name to "White Gene Smiff".  Jerry Jones.  Dan Snyder.  Mike Brown.  I would bet that 90% of the owners are pure and unadulterated assholes.  They claim that they aren't making as much money as you think but won't show anyone proof.  What the fuck is that?  That's like finding out from an ex that you should take an AIDS test and then the doctor not letting you see the results.  That analogy made no sense but that is what AIDS does to you...makes you incoherent and gay.  And Peter King is their lardass mouthpiece...that doesn't help change your perception to the public.

The Players - Oh for the love of fucking God, all these assholes had to do was shut the fuck up and let the public back them.  But then you have poopshoots like All Day and RaTard Mendenhall calling what they do "modern slavery".  You know, I'm no historian, but I don't think that Thomas Jefferson was paying his slaves 7 figures to pick his cotton and receive his DNA.  Yeah, I am now not on the player's side.  But what about...

The Networks - Sure, they are definitely going to get fucked over this.  But they are such bottom-bitches for the league that they coughed up 4 billion dollars anyway with no promise that this would be resolved.  Make a stand.  Tell the NFL that you refuse to air gay-ass Thursday games, dammit!  Those are bad for the league, dammit!  It's bad football, dammit!  Or what about...

The Fans - Eh, we are a fickle bunch.  And I don't want to be on the same side of the argument as Steelers fans or Cowboys fans.  I don't know about you, but a full year without Redskins Football might not necessarily be a bad thing.  I bet that my blood pressure and likeliness for a brain aneurysm would decrease.

But the real losers here and the people that you should feel bad for...

The Food/Beverage Industry.  Think about how much money bars and wing joints and pizza places and butchers are going to lose with no football on Sundays.  Those are the real victims here.  Hell, the entire city of Green Bay might file Chapter 11.

Either way, just fix this fucking shit.  For once, if the government has to step in and get these assholes to agree to something, then sobeit.  Just stop taking up my sports radio/Sportscenter segments with retarded updates about these fags meeting with some mediating ass-twinkie in DC.  No one cares.  And if Adrian Peterson wants to be treated like a slave, well, I've got a pair of shoes that could use a good shine, dickhead.
The fuck?  Apparently, The Buccaneers are the favorite to be this summer's Hard Knocks team.  That's gay!  Raiders or GTFO.
Today, marks the first day that my office has been moved up to Polaris.  I want to kill someone.  If I had my own slaves, that thirst for blood could be quenched.  Instead, I'll do the usual and take my frustrations out on my pecker.  SEXAY!!!  So if this post didn't satisfy, tread lightly, because I am not going to be in the best mood.


Drew said...

Just think about all the new food establishments that you can go to for lunch now....that will make you happy. Of course, three weeks from now you will run out and you will hate being at Polaris.

I agree with everything you said. It's nauseating how much coverage this is getting and I'm not going to lose my shit if they cancel the whole season. Fuck it.

The Bucs being on Hard Knocks makes no sense, unless Josh Freeman is some lunatic that nobody knows about yet.

GMoney said...

Westerville is ridiculously fucking gay. I've had three guys proposition me already. My new station isn't very private at all...not good.

Grumpy said...

Enjoy the commute. Don't flatter yourself; those three guys are known chubby chasers.

You're right, all the players had to do was STFU, but those nimrods couldn't stay off Twitter.

GMoney said...

It only took 30 minutes to get here this morning in a light rain and that was a pleasant surprise.

Anonymous said...

G$- don't get your hopes up.. Traffic has been especially light this week for some reason. That will change soon I'm sure.

"I'll take my frustrations out on my pecker" might be your best line ever.
The owners got to where they are because they're great businessmen. There's no way they will lose this. Who's fault is it that the owners got the networks to agree to pay $$ even if there is no season?

I'm hoping for a lockout. Maybe the Browns can make the playoffs with some scabs.


Tony B. said...

I would shutter to think what could happen to sportsbooks as well. College betting will still be strong, but Sunday would be a lonely day at the casino.

I'm hoping Keanu Reeves and Gene Hackman lead the Bears to the playoffs.

Jeff said...

Goto the Tilted Kilt. You will not be disappointed.

GMoney said...

So were all in agreement that Ace and Iceman are buggering each other right?

Grumpy said...

I thought that was old news.