Hump Day Dump: Some Competition I Made Up

(True Love...it's beautiful)

Douche Lord of the Week: So I got this email from G Money:

I'm drinking with Damman this past weekend and he tells me that he really wants to be DLOW which is why he was talking about Tress being bulletproof last week. I found this to be extremely sad that he would go that far but then again, this is pretty much defining of a Douche Lord.

That is pathetic, just pathetic...dedication. However, Damman had a serious challenger:

Good riddance Fake Buckeye... To further show he doesn't get it, he should have just left by saying something like "We enjoyed our time in Columbus, but are looking for a change of pace and Nashville gives to that to us." Instead this moron decides it's a good time for a parting shot. I wonder how Clark Kellogg, Jimmy Jackson and Chris Spielman can all do national work and live in Columbus..but not feel like they have to move. Probably cuz' they aren't dip shits that get into twitter wars with 20 year old kids. See ya Fake Buckeye....I hope you get Deliveranced (nice verb to make up) in TN.

That's just pathetic. So in honor of these Douche Lords, the banner features something that can be found in both of these tools closets. I call it The Queerbler, a sex toy Thad Matta has jizzed up the last three years. I believe Diebs hairy vagina will suit you both well.

The Challenge. I wanted to do some sort of commenter competition for March Madness beyond just filling out some brackets. I thought about just having people pick the Sweet Sixteen teams and then whoever got the most right would win that round....but that's lame. But I think I have a pretty solid idea.

In college we used to have this pool where we would draft players in the NCAA Tournament based on how many total points we thought they would score throughout the tournament. So you would draft the leading scorer from some 1 seed in the first round because they are the leading scorer and their team was likely to go deep into the tourney. There would be like 12 rounds and it was always good fun. I don't think I can orchestrate that in the comments but we can do something similar. Here are the rules:

1. You will pick four players in the NCAA Tournament. Again, this is about who scores the most points throughout the entire tournament. Only points count.
   
2. Your first pick must come from seeds 1 through 4. And once a player is picked he is gone. So don't try to draft Queebler after Drew has taken and splooged all over him first.
3. Your second pick must come from seeds 5-8.
4. Your third pick must come from seeds 9-12.
5. Your fourth pick must come from seeds 13-16. The play-in games do not count towards your total.
6. You can make your picks however you want. You can make four separate posts or post them all at once. So if you want a certain play for your first pick but aren't sure about your other three, you can post that first pick so you get that player and make your other three picks later. The picks must be made in the comments of this post.
7. When you make the pick, please put the players team with it as I have done below. I'm not searching through Alabama State's roster for you.
   
8. If you post simultaneously with another commenter and have the same player picked, whoever is first in the list of comments gets that player. So when you make your pick make sure you check and see that this didn't happen.
   

As noted in the comments yesterday, the winner of this competition will win there very own G$ and Mr. Ace Book Hockey Party...a real treat.

Since I set this whole thing up and am going to be tracking it, I get the first picks. Fuck off.
1. This is tough. I wouldn't be surprised if BYU gets knocked off by Wofford...but I don't think Gonzaga or St. Johns's are that good, which makes it likely I will get 3 games out of Jimmer. And Florida sucks. Oh fuck it, drafting a Mormon can't end well, but I'm rolling with Jimmer Fredette because that road to the Final Four looks pretty easy for them.
2. This is either Jacob Pullen or Derrick Williams. I'll go with Derrick Williams (ARIZ).
3. I'm torn here. I think USC will win tonight and go on to beat Georgetown. But I don't know if I want to risk taking one of their guys. I will hold off on my third pick and make it in the comments.
4. I'm picking between Belmont, Oakland, and Bucknell here. Seems like Belmont is the most likely team to win their first round matchup so I will go with Ian Clark (Belmont).

Boom. Leave your picks in the comments.