Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Hump Day Dump: Make Room For Michigan

(Air Novak)

Douche Lord of the Week: I'm talking about Michigan today, so the DLoW is being picked in anticipation of the comments he will likely make about my Wolverines. He also said Sullinger will be returning to anOSU next year...douche lord. Enjoy Tress's love tunnel.

Finally, March Madness is here. At the beginning of the season I had no idea I would be in this place. Michigan is fucking relevant! We aren't 10th in the conference like everybody thought we would be. We aren't just some scrappy, young team who rains threes all day and gets dominated by the big boys. We belong in the tourney.

And Joe Lunardi agrees, for now. According to Bracketology--how worthless of a human do you have to be to make up a title for yourself? Bracketologist?--Michigan is among the last four in, along with Baylor, Richmond, and Alabama. Of course, the regular season isn't over and conference tournaments are just getting started so Lunardi's projections are about as useful as Mel Kiper's cum sock's(McShay) NFL scouting.

But it all basically comes down to Saturday at Crisler Arena. Sparty comes to town. If we win, we will sweep the season series and likely push Little Brother out of the tournament for the first time in EVER. And we will win because Darius Morris is the best point guard in the B1G. We will win because Tim Hardaway Jr. one of the best freshmen in the country. We will win because John Beilein is the coach of the year. But most importantly, we will win because Zack Novak is a fucking assassin who will not let Michigan's tournament hopes die at the hands of their biggest hoops rival at home. Zack Novak will dominate because that is all Zack Novak knows how do to.

That's really all I have to say.

30 for 30. 30 for 30 is one of the greatest things ESPN has ever done, and that includes introducing Erin Andrews to your spank bank. I've never liked Bill Simmons, but this creation is just great. However, there is one story out there that is glaringly, obviously lacking from the 303 for 30 lineup. No, not the Toledo Rockets point shaving scandal--Free Scooter!--,The Fab Five. But alas, on March 13th, one day before the start of the NCAA tournament, Bill Simmons will roll out "The Fab Five". I cannot fucking wait.

Say what you want about the scandal, but that team changed the landscape of college basketball forever. And more importantly, got "Stockton shorts" out of everyone's ass.

Trivia Time. This Thursday, Grumpy will be joining us at the Grandview Cafe for our weekly trivia competition. If you're more intelligent than commenter Dustin, you are, then you are welcome to join The Money Shot crew. We still need to pick a team name...somehow Charlie Sheen needs to get worked in. WINNING!


Grumpy said...

Charlie Sheen's Goddesses.

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Drew said...

Did you find a picture from five years ago?

It's hard to take what you wrote today seriously, when you suck from the nut of Zack Novack. Also, Darius Morris being the best PG in the B1G is laughable....fucking laughable.

All that being said, I am looking forward to watching UM/MSU on Saturday. It's basically an elimination game between rivals.

Charlie Sheen is the shit.

G$ like those ten threes that THREEBLIER dropped last night?

Sullinger will be back...mark that shit down. We will have the inept NBA to thank for it too.

GMoney said...

Hey, he has been horrible all season long so one game proves nothing.

Having seen UM up xlose this year, it was surprising to see how much Novak means to them. He's their glue...who sleeps with other men. But stu douglass is about as worthless as a hobo's dick.

Stayed up late to watch the end of the cbj/canucks game last night and one thought kept creeping into my mind: I guarantee that the Sedin brothers fuck each other.

Hopefully trivia night is more successful than dut's poker night.

Drew said...

Diebler "has been horrible all year"....just quit talking.

How much would it suck to be a fan of BYU? They have their best basketball team ever and they kicked off their second or third best player yesterday for violating their "honor code" is what that entails (hope it wasn't for pounding espresso)...

* Be honest
• Live a chaste and virtuous life
• Obey the law and all campus policies
• Use clean language
• Respect others
• Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee and substance abuse
• Participate regularly in church services
• Observe the Dress and Grooming Standards
• Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code

Mr. Ace said...

Drew, you must be a terrorist because nobody knows how to get a decent picture of you.

I honestly think I would roll with D-Mo as PG even over McCamey or Taylor. D-Mo is surrounded by inexperience and has no big man. He makes these guys a lot better and is also the guy taking the late shots.

How can you dislike Novak? It's not like he's a doucher. He doesn't play dirty. He plays hard. He's always physically over-matched. But he still comes through in every way possible. Haters.

Mormons are stupid, I don't need an honor code to tell me that.

Drew said...

Some call me a terrorist....some call me a's best in the grand scheme of things that I keep my profile low on the interwebs.

Ace...he is a doucher and he does play dirty. Remember when he got ejected from the OSU game as a Freshman for throwing an elbow into P.J. Hill's face on the free throw line and then he got suspended a game for that? I do.

McCamey is terrible and the most overrated player in the big ten.

GMoney said...

Diebler still sucks and actually IS the most overrated "player" in the conference. I am not fooled by his one great game against carnegie mellon or whoever you played last night.

Novak is a total douche. Just look at him.

Anonymous said...

I still think Michigan will have to win at least one game in the B1G Tournament to get to the Big Dance. I think they can do it though.

Hows this for a team name "Charlie Sheen's Kids"

-Lil' Strut

Jeff said...

Damn bluejackets, I watched that too, great game. I'm loving the trade we made though.

Anonymous said...

It will be nice to see Michigan in the tourny but let's be honest. They'll win 1 game max. I don't think there's a worse player in the entire landscape of college basketball than Stu Douglass. He has a pedophiles name and plays like a WNBA bench player. But I can't wait to watch him go 1-7 from the arc in the opening week of the tournament!

Diebler and every other OSU basketball player's career will end at the college level...keeping pace with the history of Buckeye basketball. But I forgot...OSU puts soooooo many studs into the NBA.

Mr. Ace said...

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO FINISH TENTH IN THE BIG TEN! Who gives a fuck if we ONLY? win one game. If we are there then we have a chance to win. Much more than I expected at the beginning of the year.

Bi-WINNING with Charlie Sheen.

Drew said...

Iceman...Buford and Sullinger will be very nice players in the NBA., you admit Novack has done something dirty since he got suspended for a dirty elbow?

Stu Douglass is indeed a turd.

"Adonas Blood in our veins"

GMoney said...

Screw Sheen, I want to talk his brother Emilio!

Mr. Ace said...

Doing something dirty over two years ago does not make someone a dirty player. Yes, Novak threw a bow as a freshman. No, he isn't dirty. He's a warrior.

Drew said...

He's as much of a warrior as Bieber is.

Anonymous said...

I'll believe it when I see it. Forgive me if I have reservations about a program that always has "a stud" that's gonna make a "huge impact" at the next level according to the fans that aren't able to separate fantasy from reality. OSU's last borderline stud was Michael Redd...and he only plays 33% of the time.

If I had to guess I would say that in 5 years Buford will be Daniel Gibson and Sullinger will be Sean May.

Drew said...

Conley's having a pretty damn good year in Memphis.

I never thought Mullens or KoKo would do shit in the NBA if you are referencing them.

Anonymous said...

Conley isn't living up to where he was taken in the draft. The 4th pick should be averaging close to 20 and 10 a game...not 14 and 6. I'm referencing Turner, Conley and Oden. Soon to be Sullinger.

Drew said...

But, Oden's issue wasn't talent was injuries. Remember he straight up owned Horford and Noah when they were older than him in the NCG.

Conley went into the draft a year or two early, because his stock would never be higher. He's evolving at the rate he should and he will be a very good PG for years to come.

Turner is contributing to a playoff team. I have no idea why the Sixers drafted him since it's pointless to have him and Igoudala otu there together at the same time.

Anonymous said...

Don't give me that shit about Conley. If you're drafted 4th overall you shouldn't need time to evolve. Look at guys like Derrick Rose, Tyreke Evans and John Wall who were all drafted in the top 5. None of those guys needed time to live up to their draft positions and all entered the draft after their freshman year like Conley did. The difference is talent level. Conley isn't on that level and most likely never will be.

As far as Oden goes, talent level means shit unless you can stay on the court. You could be the best player ever but if you sit out 60 games every year you're worthless. He's had 2 major knee surgeries in his first 2 years. Face it...he'll never make it back to what the number 1 pick should be.

And Turner isn't contributing. He scores 7 a game. Jodie Meeks contributes more to that team than Turner does and he almost wasn't drafted.

These guys just aren't as good as you want them to be.

GMoney said...

Pump your brakes, Ice. The big NBA trade this year was pretty much Carmelo and a couple of losers for KoKo and a couple of losers. KoKo > Melo

Conley was drafted 3rd, by the way, and I'm on the "he sucks" bandwagon, too. But I don't blame him for leaving when he did. I do blame Memphis for giving him 50+ mill this offseason for what exactly? He's the 5th best player on a mediocre team (if that).

I'm rooting for Michigan this weekend because Sparty has EARNED the right to play in the NIT this year.

Anonymous said...

I don't blame Conley either. Shit, why not get paid? I'm just saying OSU fans shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that he's playing up to his potential or is any good for that matter. You could replace him today with anyone and Memphis would be just as shitty. As the 4th pick (and it was the 4th pick) you should be an immediate team changer like Rose, Evans and Wall were.

Drew said... keep comparing him to Wall, Evans and Rose and you keep proving my point for me. Conly was NEVER Wall, Evans and Rose. All three of those guys were basically considered the top players in their high school classes and would have been top three picks out of high school. Conley wouldn't have even been drafted out of high school...and he was POSSIBLY a first round draft pick after the big ten took an amazing NCAA tourney by him to loft him to a point where he really wasn't worthy of being and why he left. That's why I said he's showing improvement every year like he should. You comparing him to those three just proves my point. Thanks.

Also, on Oden...what the fuck are yout alking about? He shouldn't have been a # 1 overall...OK....well, then he definitely should have been # 2 and it's injuries that have forced him to not be good. He also could have gone to ANY school in the country that he wanted and if he had gone to UNC, Duke or Kansas he would still not be playing right there's really no Ohio State NBA bust stigma you can put on him.

G$....Who are four or five Grizzlies better than Conley? Randolph, Gay, Gasol.....AND.....???? O.J. Mayo is the wrong answer if you try to use that one too.

Memphis is actually a playoff team right now, so they aren't exactly terrible either.

Anonymous said...

Keep thinkin these guys are legit NBA players Drew. Clearly there is no reasoning with you on this. I promise you wouldn't be lobbying as hard if these guys weren't Buckeyes because if Conley went to Duke you would think he was terrible. Which was my lack the ability to remove affiliation when evaluating real professional talent. You're probably one of those guys that thinks Sanzenfaggot is gonna be a 2nd or 3rd round pick and better than Wes Welker. Eventually all these OSU baksetball players will sink into mediocrity...if they aren't already there. And I don't give a fuck enough about OSU basketball to revisit this conversation when I'm eventually proven right.

Drew said...

So, are you saying Oden would not have been a stud if he had never gotten hurt? Because he would have been.

I think Sanzenbacher will be a 5th round pick and a solid WR in the NFL until he either gets concussed or dies on the field with his no fear over the middle antics. In no way shape or form do I think he will be as good of Welker and they aren't even similar WR's other than the fact that they are tough white guys.

Anonymous said...

Iceman- I don't understand your obsession with hating on OSU players for not living up to their potential at the next level. We are OHIO STATE fans. Anything that happens after they leave is irrelevant. Sure, its fun to root on Santonio to win a superbowl MVP, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter. I'd rather have Craig Krenzel's great college resume with an awful NFL resume than someone like Tom Brady who was mediocre in college.

Also, the NBA is the toughest professional sport to get into. The fact that Ohio State is pumpin out lottery picks every year is impressive by itself. Do you think North Carolina fans are upset that Hansbrough hasn't been heard of since he graduated, or Duke fans care that Reddick blows now? Hell no. Since you're so obsessed with this (mainly because you're running out of ways to reduce OSU's accomplishments), Who is the last Michigan basketball player to go in the 1st round?


GMoney said...

OK, I guess he's the 4th best player on a mediocre team who just gave him over 50 million. What a rotten organization.

Ace is going to be pissed that his post got turned into something completely off-topic. I know that I would be. But then again, the NBA has been very popular here over the last few weeks.

You have no idea how fucking pissed off I am right now (nothing to do with anything said here today) so expect a massive rant tomorrow morning.

Drew said...

Did they move your new Polaris office up to Marion instead....or maybe down to Chillicothe?

Ace's Michigan boy Iceman is the one that turned the topic into mocking Ohio State players in the NBA so he only has Iceman to blame.

Dut....that was a very good post.

Anonymous said...

I'm just calling what I see as an NBA fan. Drew is saying that these OSU players are living up to their potential and I'm saying they aren't. By no means is it an obsession. It's observation from watching these guys in action. If everything that happens after they've left Columbus is irrelevant and doesn't matter to OSU fans then why is Drew defending the talent of these players to the death at the pro level? This whole conversation started in the first place with Drew saying that Buford and Sullinger will be good NBA players...excuse me, "nice" NBA players at the next level. If "nice" means mediocre, then he's right. But we all know he didn't mean mediocre with that statement.

Typical Buckeye fan turning this into an OSU vs. Michigan thing. My affiliation with U of M has absolutely nothing to do with my opinion of Conley, Oden and Turner. Ask any NBA fan regardless of who they follow at the college level what they think of these 3 and most, if not all, will echo exactly what I've been saying here. Well, unless you talk to a Buckeye fan because to them Conley is better than fuckin Oscar Robertson. Not once did I say anything about Michigan basketball or players they have put in the NBA. Furthermore, if that topic was brought up I would be the FIRST to say that Michigan basketball doesn't put quality players in the league. Because I can think objectively when it comes to my team.

Drew said...

Interesting that you are the one that tried to compare Conley ro Rose, Wall and Evans and I was the one who said he was never at that level.....yet supposedly I'm acting like he's better than Oscar. Keep spinning.

Anonymous said...

There are 20 PGs I would take right now over Conley...and it will be like that for the remainder of his NBA career. That's a mediocre player. Keep tryin though.

GMoney said...

Perhaps one day, conley will be as badass as Razor Ramon Sessions and Eric Snow (the worst player in nba history).

Randolph said...

There is karma in making Drews face the centerpiece of your blog, dont be surprised if you find yourself the beneficiary of a great deal on nati light later this week.