Well, it's nice to see that at least one Buckeye fan agrees with me. And I give him credit, at least he has the stones (and millions of dollars) to get out of here. Kirk Herbstreit is moving his family from Columbus to Nashville. I don't blame him. Nashville is a cool ass city. Let's hear from the Gameday Analyst and interject my opinion on what he really means:
"Nobody loves Ohio State more than me (pffffft, he isn't even a black cowboy!)," said Herbstreit, a former Buckeyes quarterback (who never beat Michigan so he isn't a TRUE BUCKEYE!). "I still have a picture of Woody Hayes and my dad (Jim, a former OSU player) in my office (punching each other's faces or punching each other's large intestine?), and nobody will do more than I do for the university behind the scenes (ah, he must be in charge of deleting emails). But I've got a job to do (rim), and I'm going to continue to be fair and objective (he's going to work for Fox News?). To continue to have to defend myself and my family in regards to my love and devotion to Ohio State is unfair (you're goddamn right it is...you're 40 years old, it shouldn't have taken you that long to figure this out...you are aligned with dickheads and twats)."That's bullshit. He's lowballing us. If he is openly admitting that 10% of Ohio State fans are queef-chugging dickbreathers (Hi, Iceman!), that's probably more like 25-30%. And I still insist that that number is low. In fact, I would estimate that on any given Saturday afternoon in the Fall, 90% of the people on campus are assholes. That ten percent is mostly just old people who are too old to be assholes and hot chicks that are just killing time before they get raped (hmmm, even I find that tasteless).
"From a sports perspective, this is rough (just like Erin Andrews' pubic stubble--why yes, I just did link to the peephole video which still remains creepily awesome)," he said. "I love Ohio State (why?). Love the Blue Jackets (CARRY THE FLAG!). Love the Reds (Communist!). Those are my hobbies (online porn is much more satisfying). I don't like moving (sounds like "Sundays" at my house but in a different context). I love living here (at least it's not Cincinnata!). I don't want to leave (yes I do). But I just can't do this anymore (these people just keep getting worse). I really can't keep going like this (I wish that I went to Michigan where they still cheer Desmond Howard in spite of his horrific broadcasting career).
"Eighty to ninety percent of the Ohio State fans are great (no they aren't). It's the vocal minority that make it rough (minorities don't root for Ohio State, oh wait, I misinterpreted that). They probably represent only 5 to 10 percent of the fan base, but they are relentless (see below)."
I've never really understood why many anOSU fans hated Herbie anyway. Is it because he's better looking (no homo) than all of those slobs? Probably. Because he acknowledges that SEC Speed exists? Definitely. But the answer that I usually get is that he doesn't pump Ohio State enough on TV. That he's TOO objective. Apparently, being an unbiased journalist is a bad thing. Nevermind that every single on of these tards hates Bob Griese due to his Purdue/Michigan ties and his perceived anti-OSU bias...forget that! No, no, they hate Herbie because not spending two straight hours fellating Ohio State every Saturday morning is WRONG! He is not a REAL Buckeye!
I applaud you, Kirk Herbstreit. Giving one huge middle finger to Ohio State fans was fucking perfect. Herbie for President! And I truly do love writing these "Ohio State fans can get sickle cell and die" posts.