Friday, February 25, 2011

Run-Ins With Celebrities: An Open Forum

It only took him one season to be the best Brown in franchise history.
When I was a senior in college, I was out at the only sort of club-ish type place in Oxford.  Of course, by "club" I mean that slutty freshmen chicks were there and the DJ rotated between rap and hair metal.  It was interesting.  My roommate and I were standing up by the bar surveying the land when we saw (at the time) current starting Redhawk RB Steven Ramon Little.

Being drunk as shit, we immediately go over and talk to him (had never spoken to him before although I did have a few classes with him).  He apparently (and awesomely) recognized me and must have been drunk, too, because he was extremely friendly and said hilarious black guy stuff.  The roommate and I pretty much just tell him how great he is and kiss his ass for a few minutes before he turns around and introduces us to the dude that he was with.

Now I know what you're thinking:  4 guy black/white/black/white drunk orgy.  Good guess but not even remotely correct.  The big black guy joins our conversation and Little tells us what we had discussed earlier:

Yup.  That dude was Travis Prentice.

Both of us shake his hand and once it's confirmed who he is, we're pretty much acting like it's Showtime at The Apollo.  Little stepped away so the two of us converged on the football great and the conversation went something like this:

Roommate:  ajkeshgioavn YOU SO SICK!
TP: Thanks.
G$:  (squeezing his wad of muscle that connects the shoulder to the neck...seriously) 8igoanvdjksbhiouabef You are my favorite player ever AIEHFNVAKIV CA!
TP: I appreciate that.
G$: iourhganvciaunf What the fuck did the Browns cut you for?  Those fags are so gay. I can't wait for you to fuck them hard aiehtgauinvddsc
TP: I don't know.

Then I think that the roommate and I high-fived over this great meeting, turned back to Prentice, and he was gone.  It was awesome at the time, but I pretty much embarrassed the shit out of myself.  Would I do it again?  Every single time. There is never a bad time to talk to Travis Prentice AKA the greatest college football player of all time.

What was the point of this story?  Well, in case you hadn't noticed, except for NBA trades, this has been a shitty week for news.  So what I'm asking for today is for you to contribute embarrassing stories from when you met anyone remotely famous.  I think that Damman has a similar drunk story with himself and former Buckeye baller Matt Sylvester that I hope he can share.  Whatever, I'm done.  What time is it?  TRAVIS TIME!


Anonymous said...

I had a couple classes with Matt "Big Shot" Sylvester back in college. In one of the classes one day we had to do this group activity/presentation and there was some down time. So I proceded to tell him about the Buckeye Basketball Drinking Game. He was thoroughly impressed and got a big kick out of it. Very nice guy.


Grumpy said...

That's TOUCHDOWN Travis time! I was at the Kentucky Derby in 1990 and after the last race everyone gets herded out the gates like cattle. People are just jammed into each other as the mass of humanity tries to narrow from a mob into three lanes going out the gates.

I look to my left and standing right next to me is Loretta Swit. A tiny woman, maybe 5'1". My then girlfriend is to my right and I tell her Loretta is there and then say "Watch this, I'm going to grope her thigh". I let my left hand hang loose at my side and pretending to be jostled by the crowd, I sort of fell against her and grabbed her thigh as if to brace myself. When she looked over in surprise, all I could muster was "Sorry".

I still have mastubatory fantasies about that thigh.

Drew said...

I've gotten shitfaced with Sylvester at least ten times. Great guy. He was ping pong partners with one of my best friends when they took ping pong class together at OSU. He's hilarious to go out and get shitty with. We actually saw him at a bar downtown a couple months ago and it turned into a sloppy night.

I think I've told this story before. But, when we were Juniors in high school we were at liqour store in our hometown and Isiah Thomas was in there. We were buying a couple hands of Captain Morgan's and Zeke was standing right in front of us at the check out line. All of a sudden he looks back at us and was like, "What's up guys?"....we were like, "Uh....hey Isiah"...then he smiled and looked down at our two bottles of Captain and said, "You guys gettin' that jungle juice huh?". I think we were pretty much like, "Huh?"...and he said, "You guys are buying that jungle juice for tonight"...we followed with, "Uh..yeah...yeah." Then he smiled said to have fun and walked out. A very odd conversation to have with one of the best basketball players ever.

GMoney said...

Ping pong class? What an institution of higher learning!

You've told that zeke tale at least four times now.

Holy shit, grump, you should be incarcerated. Speaking of deviants, that groper from cleveland is now a buckeye. Hilarious.

Mr. Ace said...

I was at a party at Gradkowsk and Lance Moore's place and the cops came to try to shut it down but then realized they were talking to the greatest collegiate QB ever and quickly changed their tone.

I saw Ric Flair in Myrtle Beach and he did his patented WOoooooooooo. Great.

I also saw MC Serch in Detroit and had a drunken 10 minute convesation about the white rapper show with him....Later that night I had a meeting with the Detroit Police while wearing only a T shirt.

Anonymous said...

When I was like 16. out in Vegas. We were golfing @ one of Johnny Millers courses he disigned. We were headed to the first tee and he was on the Driving Range. Me and My cousin preceeded to head up to Johnny to BS and a Autograph. First words out of his mouth " Here comes a couple young guns!" We bullshitted for a few minutes and got our autograph. Ive got to meet a few PGA pros over the years. No embarrasing stories though.

Ran into Tony Rice one time at a bar. We chatted for a little bit.. Then he went out dancing with one of my hot friends.. I told her do you know who that was..She says no. I told her. She didn't care. "He's fucking Hot" she says. lol


Drew said...

I took a shot of tequila with Jim Furyk at a downtown Columbus bar this past Summer. He married a Columbus girl and is a die-hard OSU footbal fan/season ticket holder.

I'm sure everyone that went to OSU or even visited the OSU campus in the early 2000's has Lydell Ross stories.

The Iceman said...

I once watched my buddy Mark buy Andy Katzenmoyer about $75 worth of shots at a bar in Columbus. A bystander would have thought he was trying to take Katzenmoyer home with him that night for some drunken gay sex...which is right in Katzenmoyer's wheelhouse. In Mark's defense, Katzenmoyer was a Buckeye at the time who appeared to have a promising career ahead of him...he wasn't yet a washed up former bust of an NFL linebacker 5 years removed from the league.

I've personally met Henry Rollins...who is a terrifying human until you actually get a chance to talk to him in person. He's actually one of the nicest people I've ever met. I've also met a few hundred musicians from back in my band days from the famous to the semi-famous. The most memorable being Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy. I was shit bagged and tried talking to him about a tour we were getting ready to embark on while clumsily handing him our band's CD. The next day I was told that about 7 words that came out of my mouth made sense. I didn't care since there was a 95% chance he threw away the CD 5 minutes after I gave it to him.

Drew said... know how I know you're gay? You hang out in similar music circles as Pete Wentz.

I sat in the seat directly behind Charles Woodson during a OSU/UM bball game in Ann Arbor three years ago...the one where Rich Rod was introduced as the new football coach and OSU lost. It was a terrible experience being within strangling/stabbing distance of one of your top three most hated athletes of your life and knowing that you weren't gonna do shit.

The Iceman said...

This was back when Fallout Boy was still cool, Drew. It was before they started wearing eyeliner and impregnating lipsyncing no talent sea pigs like Ashley Simpson.

I saw Todd VanPoppel at a Napoleon High School basketball game once when I was about 13. He turned out to be pretty sweet, right?

Drew said...

Not sure how I forgot to mention this. But, I got shit-faced with The Pussycat Dolls at the hotel bar at the Hyatt in downtown Columbus. I was doing Irish Car Bomb races with Nicole Scherzinger. It was a wild weekday night....unfortunately nothing beyond getting shitty at the bar happened.

GMoney said...

Henry Rollins was amazing on sons of anarchy.

Pete Wentz has always been a fag.

Jeff Jess apparently has a story about him and Santonio. I can't wait to hear that one. JJ is also todd van poppel's third cousin!

The Iceman said...

After you listen to Henry Rollins spoken word (saw him at the Newport in Columbus) you will leave trying to punch holes through brick walls...or a hooker's abdomen.

Anonymous said...

My cousin saw Jim Kelly at a bar in Vegas. Him and his friend where so wasted that they thought it was John Elway. His friend than proceded to go up to Kelly and asked him if he could see his superbowl ring that he had won. That is awesome.


Anonymous said...

When I was in college I went to an OSU football party with commenter Daniel and my friend Karl. We got to see Justin Zwick mackin on commenter -Rex's now wife, Anothony Gonzalez pumped the keg while I filled up my beer, and AJ Trapasso challenged Karl to a beer bong competition. This was by far the highlight of the night. Both Trapasso and Karl were pros and could suck one down in less than a second. They probably had about 8 or 9 each in a short period of time. I think it was a draw. After the competition, Karl couldn't walk, and later passed out on commenter Daniel's bed. Unfortunately for commenter Daniel, Karl didn't wake up to take a piss and completely soaked his bed. LOL@commenter Daniel!!!


Anonymous said...

I don't want to steal commenter -Rex's thunder, but I believe he met Mr. Belding at a bar in St. Louis. He looks like hell now.


James said...

My highschool football coach was who other than one of the biggest busts in Browns history. Mike Junkin. He is massive and is actually one of the scariest men i have ever met in my life. As for pro football whoring i did have a few run ins in downtown pittsburgh with some of the steelers at the local bars. Was big ben raping but it was awesome to see harrison grind his black ass all over some white chicks.

GMoney said...

Dut, if you double comment again, I'm going to nut on your dads stache while you watch.

Tony B. said...

My friends and I saw Alex Smith out in a bar in Davis. I guess his sister went to UCD so he came up to visit. We were pretty hammered and were with some girls who were debating how to get a piece of his $49 million. We were trying to get one of the girls to go hook up with him. About the time we were going to approach him, he began to make out with another girl who was about a 6.5 out of 10. Disappointing- just like Alex's career with the Niners.

Anonymous said...

While driving around in L.A. with my wife, I spotted a familiar looking fellow. I yelled out my window we gon' find you. I proceeded to pull a U turn in the middle of traffic and got my picture with Antoine Dotson. He sounds more like a woman in person.

Also, ran into Derek Fisher at a Las Vegas nightclub during Funch's bachelor party.

While in Tampa during spring training I ran into Hulk Hogan's best friend Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs while watching the greatest team ever your Cincinnasti Reds.

But my favorite has to be talking with Marge Schott when I was younger. With a deep voice and cigarette breath, she was great.


GMoney said...

Treating kelly like he was elway is the leader in the clubhouse right now for my favorite story.

Lange, between the reds and knobbs, you sure do have a thing for The Nasty Boys. Now go stick someones head in your armpit for Norm Charlton!

The Iceman said...

One night at the bowling alley in Napoleon my old roommate Slim was piss drunk bowling in the lane next to Sam Hornish Jr. Slim, noticing Hornish was next to him, started loudly proclaiming how NASCAR drivers are fag pussies and that NASCAR is less of a sport than the WNBA. He didn't stop there. Eventually, after every strike or spare Slim would bowl (which was a lot since he's about a 200 avg. bowler) he would turn to Hornish and scream, "Booyah! Your mamma's titties!!"

Hornish was such a puss, he didn't do a thing and just left without saying a word about it. I kinda felt bad for him until I talked to my buddy Joe who owns Campus Quarters in Bowling Green. He told me Hornish, one night, ran up a tab of over $100 in his bar and tipped a dollar after bitching loudly about how his drinks weren't free. What a queer.

Drew said... see five Pistons didn't show up to shootaround this morning in Philly as a "players protest"? I fucking hate everyone on that team not named Greg Monroe right now. Sad....just a bunch of babies.

GMoney said...

The pistons are a bigger joke than the cavs right now. At least we have some faint hope right now.

Joe Dumars is the nubian Matt Millen.

Drew said...

Except Joe Dumars won a title and a couple eastern conference championships, which means your comparison is terrible.

The Cavs just traded for Fat about a joke.

The Iceman said...

I did see that Drew. Surprise surprise as to who was behind it all. Rip Hamilton. What a fuckin twat. We should have traded that fag years ago. Too bad Rip's contract is so gross no one will touch it even if you draped Elisha Cuthbert's vagina over it. I love Monroe's upside. I'm just worried Dumars won't be able to bring in enough pieces to keep Monroe interested. Bynum should be starting point for that team with Stuckey at the 2.

Dumars isn't even close to what Millen was. Just an awful awful comparison.

GMoney said...

Dumars hasn't done anything right in five years. I bet he poops in the shower and bathes in the toilet. He's an idiot.

The pistons are stuck now. They aren't good enough to contend but aren't bad enough or lucky enough to pick int the top 5. Congrats on becoming the new Indiana Pacers.

Rod Stuckey sucks. He's better at collapsing than he is at winning. Boom.

Drew said...

Hasn't done anything right in 5 years....yet he drafted Greg Monroe. I'm definitely not going to defend Dumars last 5 years....and part of the reason that Rip and Tayshaun are such cunts is because Dumars would never tell them they were wrong and just kept firing coach after coach. I actually hope the new owner fires Dumars when he starts to clean house...but, Dumars hands have also been tied by not having an owner. He hasn't been able to do shit for two years's fucking terrible.

"The Pistons are the Indy Pacers"...great..guess what..the Cavs are back to being the Cavs. Your best players are fucking J.J. Hickson and Razor Ramon Sessions......sweeeeeeeeeeet. The Kings laugh at the Cavs.

The Iceman said...

I'm not defending Dumars and I do think he should be gone, but saying that he's in the same conversation as pissbags like Millen is just dumb. Stuckey's just in the wrong position. He's not a PG yet that team continues to play him there. Put him at the 2 and you'll see how good he can be.

Don't worry Drew, the Cavs will suck again for the next 20 years until the next Lebron falls into their lap. Hopefully by then they'll have an owner that doesn't microwave and eat his own shit and who understands how important it is to do anything...including trading the "untradable" J.J. order to make your superduper star happy. But it's the Cavs so I'm sure they'll fuck it up.

GMoney said...

For the las time, the suns backed off from trading amare. It had nothing to do with the cavs package. This is all common knowledge that hickson's inclusion had nothing to do with it.

Who are we kidding though? Both of these franchises are going to be shitty until the year 2020 at least.

And Jamison is our best player thankyouverymuch!

The Iceman said...

"For the las time, the suns backed off from trading amare"

Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.

Tony B. said...

The Kings do not laugh at the Cavs as the Kings may not even be in their current city by next year. Though, I'd rather have the Kings' roster, so you're right in that respect.

Jeff H said...

So I had a finance class in college with Santonio Holmes. I went to the first day of class, thinking that the professor would hand out the syllabus and then let us go. Was not the case as the guy actually taught a full class that day. The class was 48 minutes long, and about 25 minutes into the clas Santonio walks in. It was pretty full in the classroom and the only open seat was next to me in the back. Santonio was on his blackberry and listening to his iPod the entire class, occasionally elbowing me to ask what the professor said / copy my notes. Toward the end of class, the professor was talking about 401k accounts for the last 10 mins. At this point, Santonio elbows me and says:

"401k? I don't give a fuck about no 401k."

He then looks at me, looking for some response to this. I don't remember what I said, but it was along the lines of "Haha, yeah me neither." He showed up for 3 more classes I think and then I never saw him in there again.

Also, Todd Van Poppel is my 3rd cousin, but I've never met him before. That is all

Jeff Jess

Randolph said...

We went to Buffalo for the last time the Bills were on Monday night football. They were playing the browns and on the night before the game we were at the Casino playing craps against Braylon, Dante Stallworth, and Kellen Winslow. Can you believe that these 3 fine young men were at a Casino the night before the game?

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