Thursday, February 03, 2011

Props That Would Make Carrot Top Proud

He totally wants that to be a robot penis.
I don't have a clue how to bet the actual line for the Super Bowl so I'm spending more time than usual analyzing the prop bet options.  Since Sunday is the bigges gambling day of the year (I assume), spending the day trying to talk about potential money-making bets seems like a good idea.  I actually found quite a few of these that I think are really solid plays.  I'm not even remotely saying that I'm laying cash down on all of these, but I think that something like 80% of them will hit.  Let's go through these and end the gambling season on a high note:

Troy Polamalu: over 4.5 tackles (solo and assist) -150
-This might look better than it actually is, but I like the odds of the defensive MVP making more than 5 tackles in the damn Super Bowl.

Clay Matthews: over .5 sack -200
-He gets to feast on Flozell and Jonathon Scott for 60 minutes.  The vig isn't very good but it's about making money and this one seems safe.

Will Shaun Suisham miss a field goal: YES +250
-Holy shit!  Is this fo' reelz?  Suisham fucking sucks!  I will gladly lay 20 on this to win 50.

Most Passing Yards:  Aaron Rodgers vs. Ben Roethlisberger +33.5 -115
-I probably won't bet this one but I see both QB's ending up around 300 yards.

First OL Holding Penalty: Flozell Adams +500
-He may not get the first one, but he's going to get at least two.

Ben Roethlisberger passing yards:  Over 250.5 -115
-Like I said above, he's going to push 300.

Rashard Mendenhall rushing yards:  Under 82.5 -115
-Eh, when was the last time that someone rushed for that many yards in the Super Bowl?  It's been awhile and that Packers front 7 should be able to handle the Steelers banged up O-line.

John Kuhn rushing yards:  Over 6.5 -115
-I'm feeling this one.  I'm feeling really good about this.  KUUUUUUUHN is going to get 4-5 carries, can he average 2 ypc?  I think so.

John Kuhn rushing attempts:  Over 2.5 +100
-A lock?  This is a lock.

Heath Miller receiving yards:  Over 40.5 -115 and Over 3.5 receptions -120
-This is the one bet that I've already made and went big on it (yards, not receptions).  Last year when these two teams played, Heath had 8 catches for 117 and the Packers apparently don't defend tight ends as well as they do other weapons in the passing game.

First Half Total Score:  Under -21.5 -110
-Super Bowls always take awhile to get going.  Everyone is a little nervous for about the first two possessions each.  It isn't until halftime where the offenses get going usually.

Total Penalties in Game:  Over 10.5 -115
-I would bet this over just on James Harrison alone.
Will a team score 3 unanswered times:  No +125
-Doesn't this seem like it would be hard to do?

MVP:  Clay Matthews +1500, James Harrison +2500
-Obviously, the odds are likely that whichever QB wins the game will win the MVP.  But I like to take a few longshots on the cheap.  I could see both of these guys coming off the edge for three sacks.  And the payout is delightful for each.

What do you think?  Got anything that I didn't mention?  Will you be betting "Fergie wears a thong" at +2500?  Let's talk illegal gambling today.  Tomorrow, I unveil my annual 15 pronged Super Bowl prediction post.  Admit it, you can't wait.


Drew said...

I like a few of those a lot...

Matthews, Polamalu, Mendenhall and Suisham bets seem good. The Flozell holding penalty seems pretty dangerous, but that's a nice pay out.

As for the MVP....if I was going to bet on someone from either D, I'd probably bet on that faggot Woodson. I could see him scooping up a fumble for a TD or returning a pick for a TD.

Even though the payout is minimal, I like Roethilsberger Super Bowl Rape Victims OVER on 2.5 at -130.

GMoney said...

I also heard that you can bet on the number of times that fox shows jerry jones and the number of times that buck and aikman talk about the lockout which they won't.

My site is even offering a cross-bet offer where you bet the number of touchdowns scored in the game vs the number of child molesters on osu's football team.

Anonymous said...

G$- did you notice the "child molester" you're referring to didn't sign a LOI yesterday? I'm not sure if he got his scholly revoked or not. I heard he pretended he was fitting highschool girls (not children) for their military uniforms and then had them get naked for him. What a genius!

I like the Clay Matthews over .5 sacks and the KUUUHHHN rushing yards bets.

How dare you hate on the only BGSU player in the NFL (Suishham).

If you want to get ripped off, use WSEX to place your bets. Those fuckers owe commenter JSaul and I a few bills for our genius moneylining of the Taints last year. I don't understand how an online betting company could be going under. They're still taking in peoples $$ but not paying it out.


Drew said...

Dut....don't worry about it. G$ said Haywood had NOTHING to do with Miami anymore when he went to Pitt. Carter hasn't even signed a LOI with OSU, so he's' Cleveland JFK's problem right now....he has NOTHING to do with OSU. I play by G$ rules.

It was a brilliant plan though and I like that somehow seven other girls fell for it. I also like that the cops say they aren't going to charge him with anything and they don't have a good know someone called that girl and told her "snitches get stitches".

What site do you guys use for your gambling these days? How easy has it been to get your winnings from them? (assuming you have winnings)

Iceman...still think my Sparty buddy is going to be spending my $ 50 on that tourney bet? Your brah Izzo has gone from preseason # 2 to NIT bound.

GMoney said...

What high school does rotc though? These girls were probably retarded which means that tressel offered to a kid who likes to touch tard bewbs.

Shame on you. Kory Liechtensteiger is also in the league and he sucks for the skins.

Jeff said...

I personally like the cross sport bet of jared sullinger rebounds on Feb 6. vs. Andrew Quarless receiving yards. It's a pick it.

Tony B. said...

I heard there is a prop bet on how long Christina Aguilera holds the final note of the National Anthem. Over/under is 6 seconds. Gotta take the over- she lives for vocal masturbation.

Drew said...

I'd like to masterbate her vocals (I realize that makes no sense, but for some reason it popped in my brain immediately after reading Tony's post)

Tony B. said...

Oh it makes sense, Drew.

Also, Big Ben was drinking and singing at a piano bar until 1:15am last night. Unsure if this affects any of the props, but he should probably get it out of his system now rather than Saturday night.

GMoney said...

Drew plays by my rules. Goddamn right he does. He knows what happens if he doesn't (rape).

Not an aguilera fan anymore (christina or rick). She's busted.

Drew said...

haha....Andy Pettitte is retiring. Sweet pitching staff the Yankees have. Ivan Nova for Cy Young? Haha. They won't even win the wild the Red Sox win that division by double digit games.

The Iceman said...

G$ put a fucking firewall hex on me 2 days ago. Since that post I haven't been able 2 comment on anything. Thanks a lot ya douche.

We'll c where MSU is at the end of the year Drew. Remember what happened the last time you prematurely talked shit, Orton?

GMoney said...

What do you think the odds were that Andy Reid would hire his o-line coach to be his DC? How the fuck does that make sense. That would be like the new york times hiring me to write about art.

Drew said...

Or, ESPN hiring Ace to write about college football.