|"I was born ready. I'm Ron Fucking Swanson."|
Ron Swanson. He has already been nominated for 2011 Money Shot Man of the Year. Will he win? I don't know but his Pyramid of Greatness is pretty hard to ignore. And this got me thinking, I think that we as sports fans are way too reactionary these days. Everything we see is immediately the greatest play ever or the worst coaching decision of all time (nothing will ever top Jim Zorn's MNF fake field goal). So take it from me and Ron Swanson and just relax. Take things in stride. Don't go crazy because it makes you look stupid. Here are some examples of what I'm talking about from this weekend alone:
*Ohio State's loss at Wisconsin is meaningless. It really is. Basketball teams aren't supposed to go undefeated. They are supposed to lose. And they did. The Badgers had an all-timer of a second half hot streak and knocked future Cavalier Jared Sullinger from the ranks of the unbeaten. Big deal. Does this change the fact that the Buckeyes are really good? Absolutely not. They are still possibly going to be the #1 overall seed. It's still going to take a herculean effort to get them out of the tournament. Personally, I wasn't fist-pumping the loss on Saturday at all because it didn't matter. Now if or when they lose in March, THAT is when you can celebrate. For now, relax and understand that the 1 in the L column carries no significant baggage to their season. But I wonder what you think about the Badger fans storming the floor? I think that it's OK since the opponent was 24-0. I LOVED that Wisconsin showed the football highlights before the game. Suck on that, fags!
*The Cavs victory on Friday night was great but still very "meh". I got sucked in. I admit it. They needed that. Us Cavs fans needed that. The fans at The Q were shockingly awesome. BUT...they still have 9 wins and 45 losses so it really doesn't matter. Yes, they aren't completely atrocious when Mo Williams is playing but they are still bad. So while it's nice to win one of their last 27 games, it still doesn't discount that they were winless for 55 long fucking days. Just get Jared Sullinger in June and I will be happy. I don't want any of the other guys out there. Harrison Barnes? Those two kids named Jones? Kyrie Erving? No thanks. I'll take my nightly double-double thankyouverymuch.
*Let's calm down on the Aaron Rodgers BJ's. Yes, he was great this postseason. I think that we can all agree with this. But he isn't an all-timer yet. Six games does not make a career. It seems like everyone wants to crown him and put him into Tom Brady's level at the moment. Sit back and just let him keep playing before doing this. That's all I'm saying and I love the guy. Let's see how he follows up his Super Bowl season before we start making his Canton bust.
*Why not wait for a lockout to happen before we start hiding in bombshelters. I am of the mind that the players and owners will figure something out and not fuck this up. I am staying positive here. So to all of those people so damn certain that we aren't going to have football next September, how about just waiting to see what transpires before preparing for the worst.
I think that my point here is that we just need to calm down. If you are a realist and give things a chance to work themselves out, you become a much better and relaxed fan of sports (and TV shows). Seinfeld's first season was horrendous but that worked out OK for them. Tom Brady worked out OK as a 6th round pick. And Ron Swanson's mustache and demeanor gets better every week. Although Aziz Ansari is about as funny as SIDS.
This is G$ and I am going to hop off my high horse and stop telling you how to behave now. Oh, and Happy Greg "The Hammer" Valentine's Day! I got She$ two wicker clothes hampers and she cleaned my car. We are hopelessly in love.