|I like turtles!|
DAN DIERDORF IS RETARDED. Not mentally retarded or socially retarded or any other kind of retarded. He is FULL BODY AND MIND RETARDED. I imagine that most of you were like me and watched the Ravens/Steelers game. Every single time that Double D opened his turd-encrusted jaws, I wanted to blow my head off. He offers nothing to the game. He gets everything wrong. He screws up names. He is horrendous. He is retarded. I used to not mind him, but those days are over. I feel bad for Greg Gumbel and this time it's not just because he has cabbage patch hair. Why Dierdorf is considered part of the CBS B team, I will never understand. He is absolutely rotten. But enough with this retard, let's talk about the worst of the weekend and boy is this going to be anti-Steeler.
Jeff Tripplett and his crew - These guys should never ref another football game. They were AWFUL. I've said it before and I'll say it again, why does is ALWAYS seem like the refs dust off all of these seldom-seen rules to benefit the Steelers? A defensive lineman holding? That is NEVER called. On the winning touchdown, yeah, the tight end jumped before the snap. The PI in the first quarter was questionable at best. The Webb punt return isn't called back if that game is played in any other stadium. Just for once, I want Mike Pereira to say on a FOX game that the NFL has told the officials that the Steelers will get all the calls. Just tell us because this bullshit is getting old.
Joe Flacco - He is just rotten. He looks like a loser. Does anyone have ANY confidence that he can lead a 4th quarter comeback?
Ray Rice - Rice lost the game. Period. His fumble in the 3rd changed everything. And that seems fitting to me since he murdered fantasy teams all season. It feels good seeing him murder his own team filled with murderers, too.
Ray Lewis - Is there a more overrated player in the NFL? Sure, he's great when runners are within three feet of him but he can't run anymore. He's old and slow. He's getting outjuked by something called an Ike Redman. And he helped kill a guy...can't forget that.
Housh - Nice catch. KSK perfectly called him "TJ Dropsmandropsdrops". Fitting.
Anquan Boldin - One catch for -2 yards and a dropped touchdown. Some difference maker he was.
Hines Ward and Chris Kemoeatu - DIRTY FUCKING PLAYERS. Period. Fact. You know, the Steelers claim to be this classy organization yet I didn't see any Ravens going head-hunting, did you? Sure, they talk shit like a bunch of fucking pussies and then don't back it up, but I didn't see Suggs take any cheap shots. Fuck Hines Ward. Big Ben is so sick nasty in the postseason though. In conclusion, I feel for John Harbaugh. That Miami Man deserves better.
My Wife's Rooting Interests - She bases this on who she likes better as a coach. Get a load of this:
Steelers: He's (Mike Tomlin) just always seems so calm.
Falcons: He (Mike Smith) looks like James Brolin!
Seahawks: Pete Carroll looks like -Rex's mom!
Jets: No reason given but she must be into foot fetish videos.
Packer Fan Racism in ATL - I wonder how many fights broke out inside the Georgia Dome after the Packers' second TD? Seeing how much those people love Mike Vick for some reason, they couldn't have enjoyed the "KUUUUUUUHN" screams.
Matt Ryan - Win something first, bitch. Look across the sidelines because THAT is how a quarterback is supposed to play in the playoffs. Never ever ever throw at Tramon Williams again. Ever. Forever ever, forever ever.
Drama for the NFC title game - Is there any doubt that the Packers are going to the Super Bowl? That defense has shut down the 10-6 Giants, the 2 seed, Mike Vick, and the 1 seed in the last 4 weeks. Save the drama for yo mama and enjoy a bunch of fat cheeseheads invading Dallas.
Michael Jenkins - The guy can't catch and when he does, he usually fumbles. Ohio State sucks. The Falcons need a sold #2 receiver. Roddy White is great and all, but it would really make them sick if they had any credible threat on the other side of the field. Santana Moss wouldn't be a bad fit there.
Seahawks/Bears - What a terrible game. I made it through the first quarter but I stopped after that. It was just too bad. Seattle sucks and the Bears are an average team who catch a lot of breaks. That is all I'm going to say about this one. Sorry, Tony, but the Bears are just another roadblock on the Rodgers Road to the Super Bowl. I think that you know this though. The Bears already ruined one Super Bowl in the last five years, the NFL isn't going to let them ruin another one.
Me Vs. Rex Ryan - God dammit. I am now 0-5 on wagers placed during the Jets playoff games. This is maddening. I can't figure these fucking guys out.
Tom Brady - Shit sandwich. Just a complete and utter turdburger. A Filet Poopgnon. No one is doubting how great he is or his legacy to the sport, but I'm just going to say it now: Ben Roethlisberger is the best playoff QB over the past five years. I don't even know how you can argue against that. Just watch, Ben ain't losing at home to Sanchise next Sunday.
Wes Welker - That was some attempt at being a "good little foot soldier". Never talk shit about Rex Ryan, cracker fag.
LaDainian Tomlinson - What the hell? This was a playoff game. Shouldn't he have been riding a stationary bike with his helmet on and not scoring touchdowns? I don't know what to believe in anymore.
Bill Belichick - The Greatriots looked flat and made almost zero adjustments. It was a poorly coached and played game by the "Greatriots". By the way, for everyone who thought that dumping Moss was a good decision, uh, no it was not. Instead of throwing 4th down passes to a loser like Deion Branch, he should have been throwing them to a hall of famer. Fuck New England...they lost to the goddamn Browns this year anyway. We should have known better than to call them the favorites.
People Who Don't Bet With Jon Kincade - Anyone else listen to ESPN Radio on Sunday mornings? You should. Stop reading my still awful picks and listen to Kincade. He is now EIGHT AND O against the spread in the playoffs. Insane.
Packers/Bears will be fun. I know that Ralph Parker's dad will be tuning in once he finishes his "funnies". I'm looking forward to the AFC game though. It will be interesting to see what the Jets get penalized for. Will the NFL dig up a rule book from the 1940's and flag them for "too many blacks on the field"? Will we see someone get flagged for an unbuckled chinstrap? A pass interference against Nick Folk? You never know with the NFL and their constant man-boners for the Steelers.
Oh, I need to get over this. I am still extremely pissed that at halftime, the Ravens were +17.5 and LOST. That's my fault though but that doesn't mean that I can't still hate the Steelers. GO JETS!!! Who are we kidding, you know good goddamn well that the Packers and Steelers are going to Dallas.