|GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KILL IT!|
One, Tom Cable did not deserve to get fired. Two, every time the Raiders fire their coach, old Al comes out of his coffin for a wildly entertaining press conference without looking in the mirror first. And three, good God, how is he still alive?!?!?! His teeth are black. His eyes are more red than white. He has fucking pulsating boils on his forehead. And it appears that the gash on his forehead, horribly covered up by two band-aids, would reveal his skull. This man is terrifying. If you look at him long enough, you will get ill. So let's move along to the picks portion of the post before we all start projectile vomiting. The standings, please?
10-6: Tony B
9-7: Jeff, mdrgolf
8-8: Naptown Wolverine, Grumpy, Iceman, Andrew
5-11: G$, Dut, Mr. Ace--just fucking awful, fellas
Green Bay (-3) @ Chicago O/U 43
If I could go back and look at every bet I made for NFL games this year, I know for almost a fact that I never won a Bears game. All damn year. While the Jets are my playoff betting nemesis, the Bears are my all season enemies. I continue to believe that this team isn't good and that Cutler will kill them. But it hasn't happened yet. And I think one thing that is commendable about this team is that they aren't buying into their own hype. They just focus and play solid football. They are the anti-Jets so to speak.
On the otherhand, the Packers are finally showing what guys like me thought all along...they are really freaking good. The defense has been outstanding over the last month and now they get Jay Cutler outdoors in late January. Wow. Aaron Rodgers appears to be making the leap this postseason into the discussion of best QB's playing. And it is well deserved. He has a great touchdown celebration and has eclipsed Brett Favre. Is it scary to take a road favorite? Not really. Don't outsmart yourself here. The Packers are the better team. They have a better offense and defense. I think that Bears fans know this and are praying for an off night from Green Bay. Ask yourself this before making your play: Rodgers or Cutler? Dom Capers or Mike Martz? I think that Green Bay takes it to them right away by scoring on their first possession and it really isn't that close. I'll lay the field goal and take the over. Packers 27-17.
New York Jets @ Pittsburgh (-3.5) O/U 38
Alright, I spent two days this week talking about how much I dislike the Steelers but it's time to get over it. Let's realize something here, Big Ben is a better quarterback than Peyton Manning and is clearly the #2 guy if we arbitrarily ranked them (behind Rex Grossman, of course). Ben will be retired (or incarcerated) before he loses 10 playoff games. Yet I worry about him this week. The Jets can get to the passer and the Steelers o-line sucked even before they all got hurt. This might honestly be Ben's toughest game in the playoffs because the heat is coming and it won't stop. Troy Polamalu definitely has to play better than he did against Baltimore because I want to see some awesome Troy and Shonn Greene collisions.
The Jets. The most impossible team to figure out ever. I mean seriously, who is going to bet on Mark Sanchez on the road! Yet he's 4-1 in the playoffs. It's maddening. The Jets feel like a team that is peaking at the perfect time much like the Packers are. But while Indy and NE are tough, going to Pittsburgh is a whole different game. Here's the thing though, the Jets know that they can win there. They aren't afraid of the Steelers. Hell, the Jets aren't afraid of anyone. Rex Ryan has his swagger back. Apparently, all he needed was his wife's vagina to pop up on the internet. I continue to believe that Shaun Suisham will cost the Steelers a game but Nick Folk (who looks like that Loughner kid in Tucson) is just as bad. Ugh, I don't know where to go here...when in doubt take the points. Does it really matter though? Whoever wins is going to beat the Bears but lose to the Packers. Fuck it, give me the underdog and the under. Jets 20-17.
So look at my record and then look at my picks. I have the Super Bowl being both six seeds which will never ever happen and just shows how off I am here. Maybe the smart money is just to moneyline parlay the Bears and Steelers then. Nah, ain't no fucking way that Jay Cutler is playing in a Super Bowl. He's banging one of the broads from The Hills, for fuck's sake. Enjoy the games, see you all on Monday to break them down.