Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Money Shot Bowl Mania: Get This Shit Over With


PLEASE CHRIST LET THIS SEASON END!
I can't take any more college football. Michigan's performance in the Gator Bowl ended the college football season for me. Just pitiful. How can you have an entire month to gameplan and come up with that abortion? Inexcusable. The ineptness of this coaching staff is amazing. Even I knew exactly what MSU was going to do coming into this game; They blitz like mad and their QB can't throw over 15 yards. That's all you need to know! I didn't even watch the second half. But I assume at some point in the 4th quarter Dick Rod was placed in a Michigan coffin and sent back to West Virginia.

Speaking of Dick Rod, his time is up. I had said before that I would be okay with him coming back and getting one more year, but that was before 52-14 happened. I want Jim Harbaugh, dammit. I don't know if I'm going to get him. Nobody knows where he is going, no matter how many "inside sources" are quoted. But if Michigan doesn't land Harbaugh...fuck, I don't know where we will go. This will be 2007 all over again, with Michigan finally settling with Brady Hoke after being shot down by Pat Fitzgerald and whoever else. But, it's gotta be done. Dick Rod can't be brought back. I won't be that pissed off if he is, but Michigan isn't going to allow that to happen.

I wrote those last two paragraphs yesterday sometime before noon. After reading every single breaking news article, thought, and rumor yesterday about the coaching situation, I have come up with a theory. Dave Brandon is using the media. At this point I think Jim Harbaugh is out of reach and taking his talents to the NFL. The majority of Michigan fans only want Harbaugh. Dave Brandon realizes this so he is leaking false information about the coaching search to the media about Rich Rod/Brady Hoke being the next Michigan head coach to gauge the reaction of the fans, and most importantly, the alumni. The reaction to Brady Hoke being the next head coach was PANIC FUCKING PANIC, just like he suspected, so he bought more time and postponed the decision until sometime today. That doesn't necessarily mean Brady Hoke isn't coming to Ann Arbor, but with Harbaugh out of the picture and Brady Hoke next in line, keeping Rich Rod around is starting to look a little more intriguing.

But the problem with that is you have to extend him. Another three year commitment has to be made to him and I don't know if Dave Brandon has the stones to make that move. Sure you can extend him and still can his ass after one year, but then you just look like a moron. After the bowl performance it is easy to fire Rich Rod and bring in somebody new, even if that hire isn't the show stopper the Michigan fan base wanted. But something needs to be done today.

Whatever way this goes, Michigan looks like shit.

Fuckeyes. Might as well mention the Sugar Bowl. Hell of a game. This game did nothing to change the majority of peoples opinion of the Fuckeye's though. Fuckeye defense held strong, but the story of the game was Arkansas fucking themselves. But hey, at least you can hang your hat on 1-9 now Fuckeyes. SCOOP AND FUCKING SCORE!!! Also, Holly Rowe eats abortions and annoys the shit out of me. The NCAA is still a joke.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand, Hey B1G Ten, you still fucking suck!

GoDaddy.com Bowl: Middle Tennessee State(-1) vs. Miami (OX).
Despite the 9-4 record, Miami is just a horrible team. Now they are a horrible team without their bitch slapping coach. MTSU -1.

Cotton Bowl: LSU(-1.5) vs. Texas A&M.
I think TAMU stacks up well against LSU. TAMU has an underrated defense and an offense that has only been held under 24 points once in the last 6 games, a 9-6 win against Nebraska. LSU still doesn't have a QB. Les Miles will do everything he possibly can to destroy a clock management situation in a close game. I will roll with TAMU because the SEC has to lose sometime, right? TAMU +1.5.

Compass Bowl: Pittsburgh(-3.5) vs. Kentucky.
I will take a field goal and the SEC over Pitt. Kentucky will turn this into a shootout and neutralize Pitt's only advantage, Pitt's rushing offense versus Kentucky's rushing defense. Kentucky +3.5.

Fight Hunger Bowl: Nevada(-8) vs. Boston College.
Nevada already played their bowl game against Boise. Boston College turned it on down the stretch and will bring a physical defense that Nevada hasn't seen all year. Once Nevada gets punched in the face I see the mistakes coming in bunches and BC coming away with a W. Boston College +8.

National Championship Game: Oregon vs. Auburn(-2.5).
I have absolutely no idea which way this game is going to go. I think both offenses will dominate the game. I assume Cam Newton has done his best Troy Smith impression and put on 20 lbs., so I guess I will go with Oregon. But this will a be wildly entertaining game. Oregon 51 Auburn 45.

Money Shot Bowl Mania Leaderboard:
NAME WINS
G$ 19
TONY B 18
Mrs. ACE 15
ICEMAN 15
ACE 15
LIL STRUT 15
DREW 15
JEFF 14
UU 14
DUT 8
SEAL 6
MUDAWG 1
GRUMP 1
ANDREW 1
AK PAUL 1

Without some serious shenanigans it looks like a two horse race. At this point I'm just trying to beat Mrs. Ace so I can show my face in my own home. Leave your final picks in the comments.

An Arkansas WR just dropped another pass.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a pathetic attempt to try and bring OSU down after a huge win. Sometimes you just gotta give credit where its due. OSU played a hell of a game and the better team won.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Thats true Dut, but those fucks should have never been playing in the game.

NW

Anonymous said...

Dear Arkansas,

Sorry. We fucked up. We owe you one.

--The NCAA Rules Committee

GMoney said...

1*-9.

Can't forget to put that Barry Bonds-sized asterisk next to that one. If even ONE of those fuck-ups leaves early, it's back to winless in my superior opinion which is the only one that matters.

Time to win this fucking thing.
Miami
LSU
Kentucky
Nevada
Auburn

GMoney said...

And I would take Sanzenhitler, Camy Cam Heyward, and Knile Davis on the Redskins any day.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Drew said...

Suck on my big fucking BUCKEYE NUTS today. How about that Terrelle Pryor guy? Just back to back BCS MVP's for him....NBD. Although, Cam definitely should have won it as he was a man beast last night. Great call on those distractions causing OSU to lose last night G$...great call.

Michigan can't even fire a guy without stepping on their big saggy tits.

Picks...

Middle Tennessee State
LSU
Kentucky
Nevada (better than Boise)
Auburn

GMoney said...

How about that TP guy? Coming out for pregame wearing a Miami Heat hat, what a great teammate! Don't worry, in 12 months when the NCAA finishes it's digging around, they will strip that win away anyway.

Arkansas beat themselves. You can argue to what extent, but they left a ton of points on the board. Congrats on your win over an SWC team.

Drew said...

What the fuck? Him wearing a Heat hat makes him a bad teammate? All those guys on both teams wear random shit when they are out there with headphones two hours before a game...there just usually isn't two hour pregame shows going on and showing them warm up. I could give two shits if he wants to wear a Heat hat...I don't give a fuck about the Cavs and their continual butt hurt over LeBron.

You could also argue Ohio State almost beat themselves...which I'm sure you would have done and loved to have given your classic "they choked" line if they had lost.

Tressel now 5-3 in BCS games.

Fuck the SEC.

Football season is now over...time to give full attention to the # 2 ranked and undefeated OSU basketball team.

Anonymous said...

Suck a dick all you Buckeye haters. Admit it, Ohio State looked fucking stellar in the first half. They made the Arkansas D look like a joke. They got up 18, and turned to Tressel football in the second half, and it worked. They won the game. OSU is better than you. Stop bitching about what hat Pryor was wearing or what color fucking panties your boyfriend wore for you last night, G$.

Seal

Mr. Ace said...

Misery loves company, what can I say.

Arkansas lost that game. I gave you fuckeyes props for a great game, but Arkansas shit all over themselves. I don't think they were prepared for the big stage.

I didn't think Pryor looked that great. He was 14-25 and he threw up a couple 50/50 balls in the end zone that found his WR's hands. He fumbled inside the 10 and got lucky Sanz was able to get to the ball. He made nice plays with his feet, but I didn't see the same performance you Fuckeyes did I guess.

Arkansas just dropped another pass.

Anonymous said...

Michigan just lost another game.

Drew said...

Harbaugh just said no another time.

Mr. Ace said...

DOUBLE ZING!

Anonymous said...

MTSU
LSU
PITT
Nevada
Auburn

Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

This is why everyone hates Buckeye fans. No class whatsoever. Run away after a loss and puff their chests out after a dirty win. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to re-adjust my monocle.

Anyone else find the normally rock solid Nessler and Blackledge completely awful last night? That was shocking.

The JV bowls are now over. Move aside so the varsity can play tomorrow night.

TP just murdered the English language and embarrassed himself and the anOSU fans while you look the other way because he got you a win with an asterisk...again. That about sums it up. Ohio State is for fags.

GMoney said...

Nobody defines student-athlete like Terrelle. I just checked...he is still undecided on his major after three years. Go figure. Med school has to be a serious consideration at this point.

The Iceman said...

Good thing the NCAA cares more about money than ethics. No one wants to watch Joe Bauserman and his Matt Turk look-a-like body awkwardly fumble around the field for 4 quarters. You were one fluke TD fumble recovery away from losing to a very average Arkansas team. Something to be proud of. Congratulations...this changes nothing. Pryor is still a 4th round draft pick. Speaking of Pryor...his mentor is really rubbing off on him. No one fakes an injury better than Lebron.

Miami
LSU
Pitt - because I'm crazy
Nevada
Oregon

Drew said...

When have I ran away from here after a loss? Go ram your Dad's dildo up your asshole. It shouldn't be too hard to remember that since we lost only ONE game this year.

A "very average" Arkansas team...God you guys kill me. Then you go pick LSU to cover when Arkansas beat them. I guess the Buckeyes are three touchdowns better than Texas A&M.

I guarantee Pryor scores better on the Wonderlic than that retard man crush of G$'s Tebow did. Mark that shit down.

Ohio State now has more BCS Bowl wins than any school in the country. Beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Hey Iceman, OSU won another BCS bowl last night and Michigan lost by 40 in the WeFingerOurOwnAssholes Bowl. Stop crying.

Seal

Mr. Ace said...

It's official. See ya Dick Rod. It's been real.

The Iceman said...

At least we lost with dignity and didn't play players who should have been ineligible. Ethics is overrated anyway. But hey, keep pounding your chests about a win that only happened because OSU valued winning a bowl over ethics. No one thinks less of the university for it.

Drew said...

So many people posting with their butt hurting this morning....ahhahahahah.

Mr. Ace said...

At this point I have no ethics and have no real attachment to U of M. They can start paying players any day now, as long as they aren't douche lords like TP. Like Denard. He should be paid six figures to not transfer. Let it be done.

Drew said...

"douche lord"...I honestly have never heard that phrase and I plan on using it now. I really like that term.

If Dave Brandon had any brains he would have rounded up the finest ass he could find (tough to do at Michigan) and just filled Denard's pad with it over the last 48 hours. I don't give a fuck what type of coach he brings in...that fucker will be a weapon in any offense.

Tony B. said...

Dammit G$- you picked the same picks I was going to. Unfortunately, I have to go for the win- none of this overtime bullshit. I'll let you roll with your alma mater and Cecil Newton's kid.

Middle Tennessee St
LSU
Kentucky
Nevada
Oregon

OSU's win last night was about as legit as Shawn Michaels beating Bret Hart.

GMoney said...

1*-9. Don't forget that asterisk.

So this means that Hoke said yes, right? It almost has to.

GMoney said...

OSU's win last night was about as legit as Shawn Michaels beating Bret Hart.

Outstanding. With the NCAA playing the role of Vince McMahon! You should win the Mania contest just for that analogy alone. And I wouldn't even put an asterisk next to it. Why aren't any of you guys that creative? Because Ohio State fans are mindless and dickless sheep that just feed the machine? Got it.

Upstate Underdog said...

MiamiOH
A&M
Kentucky
BC
Auburn

The Iceman said...

Every OSU fan's favorite Buckeye Kirk Herbstreit said this morning he would be shocked if Harbaugh didn't take the Michigan job now that it's officially available. I hope he's right...

Drew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Herbie also reported that Les Miles was coming 3 years ago..

This win was almost as satisfying as 2002. I don't care what excuses you haters are coming up with, this one felt good. OSU was in control of the entire game. Shut the hell up.

Iceman- your comment about arky being average was so predictable. Can you just give OSU some credit!?

Dut

The Iceman said...

Arkansas beat an Alabama team that had 3 losses this year, got crushed against Auburn and struggled against Georgia, A&M, and Mississippi St. It's not THAT impressive. I mean, they're a good team...just kinda bland and relatively unimpressive.

I will say OSU played almost flawlessly in the first half and seemed to be running away with it. But Tressel ball allowed Arkansas back in it and nearly lost it. Not to mention that Arkansas' WR corp pretty much gift wrapped that game for OSU in the 2nd half. For a second I thought I was watching Michigan's offense with all the dropped passes.

Anonymous said...

Come on, TP wearing a heat hat in warm ups is fucking ridiculous. Don't defend or ignore this. He should have came looking somewhat humble, but instead he comes outwearing non-osu gear looking like a fucking thug with a sideways Mimi Heat hat on when he damn well knew the cameras would be all over him in warms ups. What team player, way to repsrent the college that has done everything for you except direct deposit his checks into his checking account.

Does anyone else see the symbolism? That he may exit Columbus in similar fashion to Lebron leaving Cleveland?

OSU did look good, I'll give them that. But you should look good when 5 of your best players were treating this game as an NFL combine.

Michgan, we are well on our way to losing a decade of football. If you aren't getting Jim, why the hell are we firing Rod. What else is out there. higher a new DC, shake a few things up, but keep the Nard Dawg train alive, because he's probably as good as gone. But then again, he's a stand up guy. (Complete opposite of TP).

J Saul

Mr. Ace said...

Harbaugh isn't coming.

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MICHIGAN'S PLAN?!?!? OUR COACHING SEARCH BEGINS NOW??? WE ARE NOTRE FUCKING DAME! DAVE BRANDON NEEDS TO BE FIRED YESTERDAY.

At least he broadcast that Michigan is going to shell out serious cash for a new coach. I hope this means Brady Hoke is a giant no. I still think they go after Fitzgerald. Maybe offer crazy loot to Gary Patterson. I'm not one of those idiots that says, "but we're Michigan, any would want to come here."...but, we're Michigan, we shouldn't be settling for Brady Hoke or some small time coordinator. Hell, bring in Skip fucking Holtz. I can't believe I just said that...but I mean it.

Drew said...

These comments aren't even worth responding to anymore, but they are getting funnier. Especially with gems of intelligent thought like, "higher a new DC".

Drew said...

Ace...I've said from the beginning of the year that Fitzgerald would be a great choice.

You Michigan morons want to know why you keep hiring terrible coaches? It's because you hire BUSINESSMEN to be your athletic directors. They make a lot of money in the business world, but they don't know shit about college athletics. Fire Brandon and hire an athletic director.

GMoney said...

Let's cool off on the Michigan talk right now. I may need to mail in a post tomorrow!

It's going to be a great day when Boom Herron leaves early and Jim Tressel is forced to vacate their bowl win just to show that the program still has an ounce of integity left. It's going to be bonerific.

DON TREADWELL WAS A GREAT HIGHER!!!

The Iceman said...

I don't think Hoke is THAT bad of a choice. At least he recognizes the importance of defense and knows his way around the Michigan program. I wouldn't be too pissed hiring him as long as we don't bury a fuck load of money into it. Gary Patterson would be pretty rad too. If we don't get Harbaugh (and I'll always hold onto that glimmer of hope until he comes out and flat says no) then Patterson would be a pretty decent consolation prize...if we can convince him to leave TCU. All I know is that they better get the right fucking guy in there this time.

Mr. Ace said...

Brady Hoke isn't in the top 10 on my wishlist. I would rather get Tom Amstutz.

There are plenty of options out there, its just ruhtarded that we haven't pursued anything but Harbaugh yet.

I have no beef with businessmen as AD's, especially Dave Brandon. He's not some random pizza slinging hot shot. He has been attached to UM forever and played under Bo. He gets college athletics. It just appears he went about this the wrong way.

Mrs. Ace said...

MTSU
TAMU
PITT
BC
Oregon