Friday, January 14, 2011

I Sucked Last Week. I Will Have My Revenge.

Happy birthday, Drew!
Alright, peckers, I took it up the ass last week on Wild Card weekend.  I assume that that was just an anomaly and that I will immediately go back to dominating my betting ways.  But on a brighter note, today is commenter Drew's birthday!  Much like myself, he will be starting the evening by taking in the Red Wings and Blue Jackets ass-beating.  Drew, where we headed after that?  Announce it to the commentariat, please, there are a lot of people who might want to punch you in the nuts.  Anyway, let's get down to it.  I'm feeling at least a 6-2 week from me.  The standings after the first "round" of picks:

6-2:  The Iceman, Jeff
5-3:  Drew, Dut, mdrgolf
4-4:  Grumpy, Naptown Wolverine, Tony B
3-5:  Andrew
2-6:  G$, Mr. Ace (Jesus, we need to step up...feel the power of HOKEAMANIA)

On with the games and I've included a link that made me laugh when I read/saw it this week.  And I'm a pretty crotchety guy so you know it's hilarious.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (-3.5) O/U 37
You know, I've said more than once that I hate it when these two teams face each other during the season.  But during the playoffs, I am completely cool with it for some reason.  Here's the thing:  there are so many objectionable parts of each of these organizations that it's really hard to root for someone here unless you are a fan of one of the teams.  I guess I can root for injuries but then again, I don't want the winner to lose to the Patriots next weekend.  Man, this is hard.  I love that the line got up over 3 here.  This is what is going to happen:  the Ravens will be up 16-14 going into the last play of the game...a 45 yard field goal by Shaun Suisham.  He may not burn the Steelers now, BUT HE WILL.  That being said, take the points and don't even worry about this slugfest going over.  Oh and he's going to miss it because that is what he does.  Ravens 16-14.
*Columnist apologizes for making fun of Frank Beamer's face.

Green Bay @ Atlanta -1.5 O/U 45.5
In my opinion, this is the best game of the weekend just because it should be played in the 20's with two of the best young quarterbacks.  Go ahead and look at Green Bay's roster.  They have about 40 guys from the MAC.  Now that is some quality scouting right there!  This line started at ATL -3 which shows that the world loves the Packers in this game.  And they should.  GB should have won the game down there in the dome earlier this season.  Honestly, I'm getting a "2005 Steelers" vibe from the Pack with a 6 seed winning three road games on the way to the Super Bowl.  And I liked the Falcons a lot more at home before the Saints beat them there.  I'll take the points that I don't think I will need and go with the over.  Packers 28-24.
*You will never see anyone wearing this.

Seattle @ Chicago (-9.5) O/U 40
I have no fucking clue what to think about either of these two teams.  Both have looked fucking AWFUL at times this season.  The Seahawks looked competent and dare I say "good" last weekend.  But when they lose, they get slaughtered.  The weather is supposed to be horrible--well, at least it will be freezing ass cold--and that should worry the shit out of Bears fans when it comes to their quarterback not throwing a bunch of picks.  So here is what I'm going with:  the hot hand.  I don't know if the Seahawks can win in Chicago in January, but I know that they know that they can beat the Bears.  I wish that this line would get back to 10, but I'll still pick the Seahawks to lose, play it close though, and keep it under.  Bears 20-17.
*Kelsey Grammar a transvestite?

New York Jets @ New England (-9) O/U 45
I have lost so much fucking money betting against the Jets on the road in the playoffs over the last two years.  0-4.  I should just stay away here, but I won't because I'm an idiot.  There is one bit of information that I learned this week (a trend, Dut!) that will help me make this prediction and I'm here to help.  It has nothing to do with all the smack talk this week or the coaches or the weather or whatever.  This is it.  Six times in NFL history has a team lost by 28+ to a team during the season and then played them again in the playoffs.  The result of the rematch?  They ALL lost by double digits again.  That is valuable information right there.  I have no problem laying 9 and it's the Patriots so give me the over.  Patriots 35-17.
*John Travolta leaves family at Christmas for gay sex trip!

Man, I can't wait to leave my family for a gay sex trip (like the one Seal is on right now).  Like I said earlier, if you are in central Ohio tonight and looking for a mediocre time, come downtown to wherever Drew tells us to go and celebrate his birthday and another Blue Jackets loss.  Enjoy the games this weekend, they are going to be outstanding.  Don't worry, Grump, I will be rooting for the Steelers...it's just that this bitch needs to make money.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

RAVENS UNDER
FALCONS UNDER
BEARS OVER
JETS OVER

NW

Grumpy said...

Steelers-Under
Falcons-Over
Bears-Under
Pats-Over

GMoney said...

Jersey Shore sucked last night. Sammi is such a twat. I did like how Ronnie wore a t-shirt to church though.

The Iceman said...

Look at that. Another week 1 lead I get to blow. How enjoyable. For Drew's birthday you should get him a stripper who looks like Jim Tressel.

Ravens - Under
Atlanta - Under
Seattle - Over
Patriots - Over

Anonymous said...

Baltimore-under
Atlanta-under
Seattle- under
New England-under

That's right, all unders this week. I put a lot more thought (2 minutes) into this than last week. Money in the bank!

I thought Jersey Shore was solid last night. Ronnie is gonna stop being a douche soon I can feel it! He will be the best character when Sammie leaves. I guaransheed.

Obviously Drew doesn't want to hang out with you tonight since he hasn't posted anything yet. I don't blame him

Dut

MUDawgfan said...

Breakin' my heart with the Falcons pick - doesn't the Bye Week rest/prep give the Dirty Birds any bump in percerption?

GMoney said...

Where the fuck have you been, Dawg? I picked against them out of spite toward you!

I have a feeling that Drew is already drinking with Jim Schwartz. He'll be here.

Jeff said...

RAVENS UNDER
PACKERS UNDER
SEAHAWKS OVER
PATRIOTS OVER

Here's a trend, I'm right and you're wrong, change your picks to mine now if you want to have a chance to hang around!

Actually, probably go opposite

Tony B. said...

Steelers - Under
Packers - Under
Bears - Over
Jets - Over

What was Situation doing last night knocking on the door when Vinnie was hooking up with that chick? Was he really trying for a devil's three-way? It was funny when he said "Sharing is caring..." then stomped away to eat a PB&J.

Sammi is ruining this season. Ronnie might snap and push her over the balcony.

Drew said...

A Jim Tressel stripper look-alike is a great idea!

Sorry for being late to the party.

Shore did suck last night...I keep thinking Sammie is hotter and hotter though...girl has wild stems.

I haven't thought about the bar after...I'll definitely shoot you up with a text. Iceman....it will probably be the Plugged Nickel though so just go hang out there for a few hours and we'll meet you.

Jackets have a chance tonight...Wings are hella beat up.

STEELERS/OVER
PACKERS/OVER
BEARS/OVER
PATRIOTS/UNDER

Tony B. said...

Oops, I meant to pick the Seahawks to cover- the Bears will win, though.

GMoney said...

Yes, but the Jackets are hella bad right now. If you can skate at all, you could play defense for them.

The Iceman said...

I would rather staple my dick hole shut than go out anywhere for your birthday, Drew. But since you offered..if I do end up going to the Plugged Nickel I'll just drop your name. I'm sure that'll be good for some free drinks since you're such a valued customer there.

Mr. Ace said...

The Rapist/Under
Falcons/Over
Seahawks/Under
Pats/Over

Drew chases his semen shots with zima's. That's why he's afraid of the money shot maniacs.

Anonymous said...

Pitt over
GB over
Sea under
Pats over

Andrew

mdrgolf said...

Steelers and over
Packers and under
Bears and under
Patriots and under

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I was reading up on the comments about Jersey Shore. I have to say I love watching Jersey Shore on MTV every Thursday! I can't get enough; especially in HD. Good thing I get HD through DISH Network. As a DISH employee, I can tell you that DISH has over 200 national HD channels which are more than any other TV provider in the industry. You should really check out DishNetwork.com to see more info.