Thursday, January 06, 2011

Harbaugh Or Bust? Probably Bust Then.

HEY!  I write the captions here, dammit.
As we learned yesterday in one of the wildest commenting days in a long time, Michigan has finally put RichRod out of his misery as their head football coach.  I am sort of conflicted on this.  Technically, they have gotten better every season he has been there.  Everyone knew that this was going to take time (more than three years) to get things going his way.  But that defense did him in.  Actually, I like to think that hiring Greg Robinson as his DC did him in.  He's a good football coach who deserved better than what he got (shame on those fans for never accepting him since he wasn't the dreaded "Michigan Man") and I actually wish him luck wherever he ends up in the future.  I just hope that the unemployment office has plenty of Josh Groban albums on hand.

The problem is that Michigan fans don't appear to know what they want.  They wanted Lloyd Carr gone three years ago because his offense was stale and the team was buying up property in mediocrity.  So they bring in the flashy new guy with the high octane offense and questionable defensive schemes.  They never warm to him and now all of a sudden want to get back to that same boring, good defense style that they fired Lloyd over.  Make up your mind!  I get it that it sucks to not just lose but to be obliterated, but scrapping everything and starting over (again) is the wrong way to go about things.  Because unless you fix Urban Meyer's heart, you are either going to have a badass defense or a balls to the wall offense.  Most schools don't have both.  Texas doesn't.  Neither does Ohio State or USC or Oregon or Auburn.  Bama is close but Greg McElroy is a homo.  So how about you just pick one and stick with it for more than 3 years?  Now it looks like the fans, who should NEVER be listened to, want the pro-style offense with a stout defense.  OK.  Bring back da dadgum fullback!  That's great, but you don't have the personnel for that and won't for at least a few years unless you hire Houston Nutt and he starts signing 80 kids every recruiting season.

Let's take a look at my candidates using baseball analogies for each (you can forget about Gary Patterson and his visor of shame)...by the way, I wrote this exact same post in August:

Grand Slam - Jim Harbaugh.  If you want him, prove it.  Mack Brown is the highest (over)paid coach at 5.1 mill.  Offer 5 years/28 million.  Anything less would be uncivilized.  Don't lowball him.  The fans would never forget or forgive that.

Solo Home Run in a 10-2 Game - Jon Gruden.  He's going to get back into coaching eventually.  He's a midwest guy.  Kick the tires with him.  Who knows, maybe he wants to spend the next two years calling Denard "THIS GUY"?

Triple - Brady Hoke.  Ace seems to hate him but his resume is great.  Ball State and SDSU were terrible and he built them up in no time at all.  Who cares if he looks like Mike Golic?  The guy can coach.

Double That Should Have Been A Triple If You Were Hustling Around First - Les Miles.  Just don't.  You know damn well that this guy is an idiot.  He coaches by the seat of his pants.  His clock management skills are like a Terrelle Pryor deep ball...it looks awful like there is no fucking chance it could ever work yet he always gets bailed out.  It's maddening.

Ground Rule Double - Brian Billick.  I have no idea if he's even interested in the college game but the more I hear from him on Sundays, the more that I respect how much he knows about the game.  He's got swagger.  He won a Super Bowl.  He wants to coach again.  I could think of much worse hires.

Single - Mike Leach - Just because I think it would be funny to replace a wild offense with an even wilder one.  I don't think that Ann Arbor has a waterway big enough to park his pirate ship though.

Bunt Single - Pat Fitzgerald.  I don't like him as much as others do but that's fine and it isn't an indictment of his coaching skills.

Called Strike Three - Any assistant coach anywhere.  You're too good for that.

I don't think that it will be Harbaugh.  I have a feeling it will be Hoke.  The moral of the story is that firing and hiring coaches is always awesome and always fun.  And that Michigan is going to suck still for the next few years.  Can't forget about that.  That's a very crucial element to this story.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck Les Miles, Michigan will be a probation for years if he coachs here. Since I think that Haubaugh is a no, ill take either gruden or Hoke.

NW

Drew said...

First off, they definitely should have fired RR no matter what. Minnesota just fired a guy for having a similar record...MINNESOTA. We are talking about Michigan and his resume looked like this after three years...

*Was unfairly put on probation...I would hope Brandon didn't hold this against him, but it is waht it is and it's still not a good thing.

*Never beat a good team...including going ofer against OSU and Sparty.

*Got taken to the woodshed by Mississippi State in his only bowl game.

*Worst defense ever and he still couldn't find a kicker over three years....they were 4/14 on FG's this year!

RR didn't fit into the culture there from the beginning. It is what it is and firing him was the right move....except it should have been done the day after the OSU game.

All that aside...

Yes, Harbaugh is the Grand Slam but it appears he's headed to the NFL. Gruden is not going there. So....

*Hoke....I think he's a pretty solid option too...but, judging from the Michigan boards/my friends they might burn down Brandon's house if he hires him for some reason. And he looks more like Artie Lange than he does anyone else.

*Tim Beckman...too big of a jump? Possibly. Do I think he would do well there? For some reason I do.

*Josh McDaniels...extremely little college coaching experience, but awesome resume for a 33 year old. His Dad being an Ohio high school coaching legend would also pay immediate inroads into Ohio and Western PA recruiting.

My pick...

Chris Petersen. I know Hawkins shit the bed in Colorado, but I think Petersen is fucking legit. Huge fan. He'd be my first call after Harbaugh released the dogs at me to get away from his doorstep.

If you want a "Michigan Man" then hire Tyrone Wheatley from Inkster fucking high school.

GMoney said...

Wheatley used to coach at Ohio Northern...RB coach. I'm told that he wore really short shorts.

How about you use "it is what it is" once more? That makes you sound like you graduated from Pryor University.

I have no idea why you want to fuck Tim Beckman.

Anonymous said...

NW- Michigan is already on probation for years, so what's there to lose with Les Miles?

Michigan fans will whine if they get anyone except for Harbaugh. If you think Lloyd "left the cupboard bare," what did Rrod do!? He's been competing with MAC schools for recruits since he got there and trying to get guys to fit into his system. This is not going to be easy for any coach...

Dut

Anonymous said...

G$- Since when are you so obsessed/filled with hate for TP?

Dut

Drew said...

Dut is right...other than QB and WR...the cupboard is bare in Michigan right now due to them filling up with MAC kids. It will be another 2-3 years, but if they get the right guy then they will at least resemble a complete team in all three phases of the game at that time.

Grumpy said...

Is Gary Moeller still alive? Probably on the waiting list for a liver transplant.

GMoney said...

Dut, where have you been? I've hated that shithead since he delayed his signing to make a bigger joke of himself. It doesn't help him that I recently had my fan-heart broken by a prima donna underachiever and I will forever despise the egomaniacs now. And Heat fans. I hate them, too.

Tony B. said...

I heard that Gruden turned down $7 mil a year from the Dolphins. If he didn't want that job with that pay, I doubt he's returning to coaching this year.

Also funny that the Dolphins haven't fired Sparano and they are offering other people his job.

Mr. Ace said...

Worst List Ever.

No Les. No Leach. No Gruden. No Billick. No Assistants. And for the love of god, no Tim Beckman,

I don't like Brady Hoke because the only reason he is being considered is because he went to Michigan. Seriously, if he went to any other school with his resume he wouldn't be considered by a Big Ten team...which is why Minnesota and Indiana passed on him.

Seems like Brandon is looking for someone who will bring in an offense somewhat similar to RR's to keep most of the offensive pieces intact.

The cupboard is bare on defense. The offense is fine. Great QB. Good RB depth. Good WR depth. Plenty of talent on the OL. Two good TE's. We are solid on D line...but LB and DB are a fucking mess. Plus everyone is coming back with one more year of experience. Just depends on what system comes in.

Drew said...

Ace....Hoke did not go to Michigan. He coached there for a few years, but he did not go to Michigan. He and Bonzi Wells share the same degree....assuming Bonzi actually got one.

GMoney said...

There is no way that Bonzi Wells graduated from middle school.

Best list ever.

The Iceman said...

The reason DickRod was never accepted wasn't because of this "Michigan Man" thing that everyone keeps talking about. It's because he couldn't win games. The last 3 coaches at Michigan won no fewer than 28 games their first 3 years as head coach. DickRod won 15. I know, I know, he "didn't have his recruits for his system", blah blah blah. That still doesn't explain why Michigan's defense went from one of the best in the country to one of the worst in the country almost overnight. He still should have been able to preserve that defense while getting "his guys" for the offense. I'll never forgive DickRod for that.

GMoney said...

Bullshit. The day he was hired 80% of the fanbase was skeptical. I have no evidence to back that up but it has to be true since I said it. They were nervous about him before the first game he coached.

The Iceman said...

You have no proof of that because it's a false statement. Michigan fans were excited for the spread (since the Big 10 historically has struggled to stop that offense) but were concerned about Rodriquez lack of focus on the defensive side of the ball. Needless to say that majority of our concerns proved to be true.

GMoney said...

Thanks for proving my point, Iceman.

Andrew Luck is going back to Stanford. I'm pretty sure that he's the dumbest smart guy on the planet.

Drew said...

Maybe he doesn't want to risk the lockout. If there is a lock out, he doesn't even get a signing bonus until it is resolved. Stanford has 18 starters coming back...possibly preseason # 1.

Mr. Ace said...

Lockout? Who gives a fuck. Even if the lockout happens Luck could make bank just doing endorsements. Bad move.

The majority of Michigan fans were excited for RR to come and bring in athletes and a fast paced offense. However, the big money boosters/donors/alumni were split. And when RR didn't win his first year there wasn't anybody of prominence in the University that had his back so it was easy for everybody that mattered Michigan to hate.

Drew said...

Just doing endorsements? He wouldn't even be able to any endorsements rocking his team's jersey. His family is worth MILLLIONS. I'm sure he'd much rather play his senior year than do under armor commercials for money he doesn't need.

Mr. Ace said...

If the lockout happens he will still be the number one pick whenever the next draft happens. The money will be there. I just wouldn't want to risk an injury.

Are you telling me Luck couldn't do regional endorsement up and down the west coast and bring in bank?

Well it's pretty obvious he would rather play his senior year....since he is staying to play his senior year. I don't think the lockout factored in at all in his decision. Still a bad decision.

Drew said...

Well, Bradford proved if you destroy your shoulder you can still be the # 1 pick. If he tears his ACL, he will still be the # 1 pick. If he gets paralyzed, then he'll get millions from the insurance agreement and can roll around in a gold plated wheelchair the rest of his life. If he gets hit by a bus, then he dies. So really, his options aren't that bad when you are thought of so high.

GMoney said...

You say Sam Bradford, I say Matt Leinart. It works both ways. When in doubt, it is ALWAYS better to get paid. And I'll believe that the lockout will happen when it's official. These guys can't be dumb enough to fuck America out of football.

Drew said...

Matt Leinart's irrelevant. Ace's point was injury. The only injury that Leinart picked up his Senior year was probably some nasty STD that I would probably gladly take on when shown a photo of who he got it from. Leinart dropped because of skill/probably party boy rumors. By all accounts, that won't happen to Luck. Also...you really using a guy that fell to the tenth pick of the draft and signed a contract worth $ 51M as the example of not getting "PAID"?

The Iceman said...

How did I prove your point? I just said Michigan fans were excited to have Rodriguez. It wasn't until the end of season 1/beginning of season 2 that we started to fucking hate him. It was then we realized DickRod didn't give a flying fuck about defense. The fans gave him a shot...and he blew it by putting together a defense that was the worst in Michigan history.

If the lockout happens? Should we start talking about what I would do IF Jessica Alba allowed me fuck her butt while we're at it? Because both scenarios have an equal chance at happening. Just go about your day as if a lockout was never mentioned. There's no fucking way anyone allows this cash cow to be stopped.