|HEY! I write the captions here, dammit.|
The problem is that Michigan fans don't appear to know what they want. They wanted Lloyd Carr gone three years ago because his offense was stale and the team was buying up property in mediocrity. So they bring in the flashy new guy with the high octane offense and questionable defensive schemes. They never warm to him and now all of a sudden want to get back to that same boring, good defense style that they fired Lloyd over. Make up your mind! I get it that it sucks to not just lose but to be obliterated, but scrapping everything and starting over (again) is the wrong way to go about things. Because unless you fix Urban Meyer's heart, you are either going to have a badass defense or a balls to the wall offense. Most schools don't have both. Texas doesn't. Neither does Ohio State or USC or Oregon or Auburn. Bama is close but Greg McElroy is a homo. So how about you just pick one and stick with it for more than 3 years? Now it looks like the fans, who should NEVER be listened to, want the pro-style offense with a stout defense. OK. Bring back da dadgum fullback! That's great, but you don't have the personnel for that and won't for at least a few years unless you hire Houston Nutt and he starts signing 80 kids every recruiting season.
Let's take a look at my candidates using baseball analogies for each (you can forget about Gary Patterson and his visor of shame)...by the way, I wrote this exact same post in August:
Grand Slam - Jim Harbaugh. If you want him, prove it. Mack Brown is the highest (over)paid coach at 5.1 mill. Offer 5 years/28 million. Anything less would be uncivilized. Don't lowball him. The fans would never forget or forgive that.
Solo Home Run in a 10-2 Game - Jon Gruden. He's going to get back into coaching eventually. He's a midwest guy. Kick the tires with him. Who knows, maybe he wants to spend the next two years calling Denard "THIS GUY"?
Triple - Brady Hoke. Ace seems to hate him but his resume is great. Ball State and SDSU were terrible and he built them up in no time at all. Who cares if he looks like Mike Golic? The guy can coach.
Double That Should Have Been A Triple If You Were Hustling Around First - Les Miles. Just don't. You know damn well that this guy is an idiot. He coaches by the seat of his pants. His clock management skills are like a Terrelle Pryor deep ball...it looks awful like there is no fucking chance it could ever work yet he always gets bailed out. It's maddening.
Ground Rule Double - Brian Billick. I have no idea if he's even interested in the college game but the more I hear from him on Sundays, the more that I respect how much he knows about the game. He's got swagger. He won a Super Bowl. He wants to coach again. I could think of much worse hires.
Single - Mike Leach - Just because I think it would be funny to replace a wild offense with an even wilder one. I don't think that Ann Arbor has a waterway big enough to park his pirate ship though.
Bunt Single - Pat Fitzgerald. I don't like him as much as others do but that's fine and it isn't an indictment of his coaching skills.
Called Strike Three - Any assistant coach anywhere. You're too good for that.
I don't think that it will be Harbaugh. I have a feeling it will be Hoke. The moral of the story is that firing and hiring coaches is always awesome and always fun. And that Michigan is going to suck still for the next few years. Can't forget about that. That's a very crucial element to this story.