Friday, January 28, 2011


Now that football is ending, your alcoholism is your only friend.
After yesterday's novel that I wrote, I was worried that I would suffer from blogger's block.  And I was...until about 10 pm when it hit me.  Drinking Games.  Leading into our first football-free weekend in a long time, it seems apt for everyone to get blackout drunk.  So let's get the weekend started right with our favorite and least favorite drinking games.  Head on down to your local drive-thru, pick up a case of High Life, and get ready to put that box on your head, bitches.

G$'s Favorites:
Presidents and Assholes (or P's & A's or just ASSHOLE) - I love this game because I am a dickhead and it's great to abuse the little power that you have.
Hour Of Power - Excellent.  Always leads to someone puking.  You wouldn't think that a shot of beer every minute for an hour would do much, but it will destroy you.  I have never had the balls to attempt the Century Club though.  That sounds like suicide.
Fuck The Dealer - Obviously, I prefer card games.
Clavsky (sp?) - I believe that this game originated in Bowling Green and it's always enjoyable to make someone do 8-16 drinks.
Back-Stabbin' Bitch - This is a favorite of Big Strut and I don't blame him. 

OK, but not my sort of thing:
Beer Bongs - I suck at chugging
Kegstands - I still suck at chugging although the time that Naptown Wolverine did one and threw up into the nozzle and all over Burgei's new deck was priceless.
Kings - I do not care for the mish-mash of different beers in the King's Cup.
Boxhead - I don't remember the rules but I'm sure it was fun.
Buckeye Basketball Drinking Game

Quarters - Ugh, do you know where those quarters have been?
Beer Pong (or Beirut) - I think that Drew is really good at this.  I have never won once at Pong.  It is revolting to think of how dirty those little balls get.
Flip Cup - Amateur game for women.  I stand by this.  Real men don't play Flip Cup.  They play "Drink The Beer".

Ummm, that's about all that I can remember right now.  I'm sure that I forgot something.  That is where you come in.  Let's all get hammered this weekend but not too drunk that you can't root for my Beloved Blue Shirts on Sunday evening.


MuDawgfan said...

Two Additions:

Champagne Supernova - essentially a power hour, but with Champagne. It's tremendous.

Depth Charge. Empty shot glass in a pitcher half full of beer. Whoever sinks the shot glass has to pound it.

Grumpy said...

In the 60's it was this:

Drew said...

MUDawg....I had never heard of those.

Beer Pong is # 1 for me and then everything else is about a zillion miles down the list. I fucking love that game and I'm damn good at it. I've given some serious thought to going out to Vegas with a buddy and enterring the World Championships next January. I've read much about it and it sounds like a great, it's an excuse to go out there.

As for other games. As good as I am at beer pong, I am the opposite of that at flip cup. I'll play to appease some whiny bitches...but, I fucking suck and lose about every game for my team.

I love power hours as well. I've done the century club probably a dozen times back in college...haven't attempted that since then though. I like the DVD's of old skool songs that you can pop in and every minute they change to a new song.

I'm not good at beer bongs or keg stands, but I'll do them.

I hate assholes.

Only other game we really played and I'm forgetting the name, but I think it was hockey. You basically played on a low table....sat on your knees...there was a cup full of beer on each corner of the table and two guys on each person would put a dice in the palm of his hand and try to loft it into an opposing cup (palm had to stay open)...if you landed it in the beer then that person had to chug the cup and it was X amount of points...if it landed on the table and fell to the ground without getting caught then that was a drink and a point. There were a few other game though.

The Iceman said...

Drew, the version of hockey we play is a card game where you have 2 teams of 2. All 52 cards are dealt evenly. Teammates sit across from one another and the object is to play the exact same card as your opponent who played before you. 8's and Jacks's are blocks. Cards get played clockwise. Every time you do that the other team drinks until you tell them to stop. Every time you play make the other team drink that's a "goal". Once you cycle through all the cards once that is one period. Games are 3 periods. It'll get you fuckin retarded in no time.

Anonymous said...

my favorite is anchorman, its a game when there are 2 teams of 4 and there is a full pitcher of beer in the middle of a table. Everyteam member has a quarter and it is a race to see who can get their quarters into the pitcher. The losing team has to finish the pitcher in under 2 minutes. If not they have to drink another pitcher. Here is the part of the game I love. Before the game starts each team has to pick the anchorman for the opposing team and that person has to drink what is ever left of the pitcher after the rest of the team has drank.If you want to see someone fucked up this is a great game.


Anonymous said...

Another great game is baseball.

The Iceman said...

Another sweet game we always play with the new guy is a game that gets you drunk but also makes one unknowing douche look like an asshole until he takes a piss and sees his face in the mirror. The name of the game doesn't can make up your own but the object is simple. Here's what you do..and I'm sure most of you have played it.

Everyone but one person is in on this. Make sure the victim is sitting to the left of the "can holder". Have one person hold an empty beer can under the table while holding a lit lighter to the bottom. The flame will turn the bottom black. Have the new guy start by placing his finger on the face of the person to his left anywhere he likes. The person who was just touched now does what the victim did to their face to the person sitting to the left of them, then adds their own motion. Each person adds their own motion and if you forget one step in teh sequence you drink and the sequence resets with the person who fucked it up. This continues around the table until the pattern gets to the "can holder". The can holder rubs his finger on the bottom of the can so that the victim can't see, then rubs the black from the can all over the face of the victim while continuing the "pattern". Meanwhile, the unsuspecting victim looks like a black face character from a 1930's silent film and you and all of your buddys get drunk in the process.

GMoney said...

Oh man, I'm going to do a solo Champagne Supernova at my desk today.

Anonymous said...

Iceman- I've played the "whipe black on the new guys face" quite a few times (mostly in high school) and it is great. The hardest part is keeping a straight face.

A game that I recently learned is called Land Mines. I don't want to explain it, so look it up. Its a lot of fun.

I love beer pong as well. I'm usually grossed out by the pubes/dirt that gets on the balls, so I always make sure both teams have a fresh cup of scalding hot water... Unless I have a good buzz going. If that's the case ill stop worrying about it. Doesn't alcohol kill germs!?

I like flip cup, but its only fun for the first round. Once people step away to pee/talk on their phone/whatever, the game is ruined. I am a goddamn champion at that game though.

Power hour is always a great game.


MuDawgfan said...

G$ - You'll feel Eurphoric for the first two hours and have a DYNAMIC and tremendous headache in the morning.

Anonymous said...

I agree that the power hour CD's where the song changes every minute are the best. Much better than having someone have to pay attention to the time the entire time.

Caps is def the most popular game in the cuyahoga falls area. Its a two on two game sitting approx 8-10feet apart with a cup in between the you and your partner (who sits right next to you). You opponents sit directly across from you. You fill the cups half full of beer and toss bottle caps into the cups, rotaing turns in the same order. Obviously when you make it the other team drinks unless they match you where your team then drinks both cups. Fun game.

A quick game we used to play was Thunder. You play to the song thunderstruck, and in a circle the first person drinks on the first thunder said until the next thunder is said. They then stop and the person to their left drinks until thunder is said again and so on. Somewhat resembling a waterfall.

Beer pong is a great game and the fact that you cant "chug" beer makes you a pussy. Deal with it.


Drew said... are correct. I've played that game Hockey before and it does get you leaning.

The game I was thinkign about with the tossing of dice into a cup is called "Beer Guy"....I was way off on my memory of that name.

I remember a card game called "Ride The Bus" that people liked to play too...that always got people fucked up.

Has anyone ever tried to beer bong malt liqour before? I tried to beer bong some Old English at like 7a.m. before an OSU football game...immediately vomited all over the place. Incredibly dumb idea.

GMoney said...

Drew claims to be an icon at pong. Imagine how many pubic hairs he has drank in his lifetime? I bet he has a full dick growing inside of his stomach.

Seal, I don't know what it is but for some reason, I was never able to develop my chugging skills. I am ashamed.

Off topic, if you know who Gregg Doyel is, you know that he is a fucking terrible sports writer for CBS. This was in his mailbag column this morning:
"You should do modeling, and by modeling I mean gay porn".


The Iceman said...

Drew, the closest we ever came to doing something as dumb as bonging malt liquor was one night we thought it would be a great idea to bong 40s. There were 4 brave souls...myself and 3 buddies (one was a marine). Friend #1 got half of it down and starting booting. Myself and friend #2 cashed the bong but had the reversal of fortune within the next 5 minutes. Mine came when I thought I had a righteous belch on deck. Incorrect. It was the coldest puke ever. The only one to finish the 40oz bong and keep it down was the marine. Then he continued to drink out of his water backpack that he had filled up with jack and coke earlier in the night. That's a man I want protecting my freedom.

I've also watched someone bong Jack and Hawaiian Punch and puke that concoction, as well as hotdog chunks, up immediately after. It looked like someone blew their brains out on the wall.

A month ago I witnessed one-on-one Four Loko beer pong. One of the two players was arrested roughly 3 hours after the completion of the game.

Drew said...

Yeah, bonging 40 oz of beer is definitely going to make one puke.....unless you are a Marine. I doubt that I got much more than 12oz of the 40 of malt liqour down before I let loose.

Any drinking games that involve Four Loko sound like recipes of disaster. I'm very thankful that that shit wasn't made back when I was in college. Between the nights of drinking until daylight....peeing my bed on numerous occasions...waking up shitfaced more often than waking up sober and everything else that came with that era..I didn't need four loko.

The Iceman said...

Four Loko is definitely created by Satan. Last summer we played Edward Four Loko Hands. Horrible idea. I've sword off the Loko for eternity.

Drew said...

I've only had one four loko...definitely got intrigued by the craze either too late or at the perfect time depending on how you want to look at it. It didn't taste too good though.

Tony B. said...

Drew - I'd strongly consider going to Vegas for the Beer Pong World Championship. That would be fucking awesome.

I have to agree with Seal that Caps is an awesome game. It just takes some dedication to gather up the caps to play with. Beer Pong is more mid-range game while Caps is all about deep 3's.

My college roommate once put 5 beers in a massive beer bong and put it down. It was damn impressive.

The Iceman said...

I needed to hang out with Tony B. in college.

Drew said...

A weird drinking thing that I was told/saw video of happening in the Cincinnati Bengals parking lot this year. I guess some people at these tailgates bring a cooler and fill it up with water and ice cubes. Somebody shotguns a beer and then they immediately dunk their head into this ice water for like 20 seconds while people count. Now this makes absolutely ZERO sense to me...because I can understand the beershotgun, but why dunk your head in ice cold water? Very odd.

GMoney said...

I would guess that they are trying to drown themselves instead of watching the Bengals play.

Did anyone read the post New Year's MMQB in which Peter King was talking about never seeing a kegstand before being in the parking lot at Heinz Field? Hilarious. What a douche. He must be a real party legend down in Athens.

My favorite President rule for "Asshole" - Asshole has to play with their pants off...a most excellent rule for coed games.

The Iceman said...

I'm not sure if you guys administer this Asshole practice or not but if I'm the President and the Asshole skips me the luxury tax of that move is drinking an entire beer. I've had people quit games before because of this which confused me because isn't the point of that game to get drunk??

Drew said...

Iceman....I've seen people get bitchy during drinking games like ass-hole about drinking too much. I think that's a main reason that I enjoy the skill games...even that terrible game flip cup over a card game. You know damn well if I throw that ball into that cup you have to drink it or you wouldn't be standing across the table from me.

I'd honestly skip you just so I could chug a whole beer..I'd get way more pissed if I skipped you and then you banned me from drinking.

The Iceman said...

Jesus Drew...I think this is the most we've ever agreed on anything. I have no problem with the Asshole skipping me if he's trying to get out of the cellar. Just know that there's a price that comes along with it. I would actually respect you more if you knew the punishment and skipped me long as you hold up the end of the deal which is drinking an entire beer. That's such a pussy move if you get skipped by someone who's under you and you do nothing...or make them drink 1 or 2...which is the same as nothing.

GMoney said...

Whenever I'm asshole, I LOVE skipping the President just to see the "I can't believe you just fucking did that" look on their face. This is America, bitch, and in this country we hate our presidents!!!

andy waggott said...

The Royal Wedding Drinking Game;

Watch two toffs get married without getting bored out of your skull in the process! Making royal events bearable...

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