Tuesday, January 11, 2011

College Football Is Over: An Open Forum

She is way too attractive to be on this site.
Obviously, I'm not going to stay up all night and write a post after the BCS title has been decided on the field, so instead you get this.  I'm writing this at 5 pm on Monday so I have no idea what is going to happen.  So if you have something to say about the game, leave it in the comments.  Like I said yesterday, I fully expect Auburn to take care of business.  You should listen to me because not only did I win Ace's Money Shot Bowl Mania with relative ease, but if the Tigers win, I will win The Money Shot Bowl Pool as well. 

I KNOW FOOTBALL.  YOU DO NOT. 

How fucking gorgeous is this Oregon cheerleader?  My God.  I want to make out with my computer monitor right now.  She should come over to the mansion for a Jersey Shore party.  We could snuggle on the couch while laughing at Deena.

Let's tackle a couple of college football headlines to help stimulate conversation just in case the game is boring.

*Jim Harbaugh goes pro - It makes sense.  He doesn't have to move, the roster isn't that bad, it won't take much to be a force in that division, and he's getting paid.  Fuck you, Michigan.  And one more time, Andrew Luck is a moron.

*Pitt is going to offer Tulsa's Todd Graham - I had read that Graham was the second choice when Pitt initially hired Haywood.  If I were him, and they came back to me after what just happened, I would tell them to fuck butts.

*Blaine Gabbert sucks - I don't care what McSpay says, this guy sucks.  As a fan of a team who could be in the market for a QB come draft day, I don't want this guy.  I don't want Jake Locker.  Mallett seems like a moron (the chinstrap beard is a dead giveaway).  Give me Cam Newton over these guys anyday.  Anybody smart enough to out-fox the NCAA can play on my team.

*Favorite Bowl Game of the Season - Forget about the game that your team played in, what other one did it for you?  I'll step out of the box here and say that the KSU/Syracuse was awesome.  But really, nothing was better than the Godaddy.com Bowl.

I think that that about covers what I was trying to get across today.  Now it's time for normal people to give college football a break while the complete and utter douchebags of the world will focus and waste their time on recruiting and spring practices.  I'm looking at you, Drew.

25 comments:

GMoney said...

SEC! SEC! SEC! It's pretty much the MAC of the South.

I'm pretty sure that the Panthers just drafted Nick Fairley at 1. He is a gigantic asshole but that doesn't take away from his Suh-like season.

You should have known it was over before the game started when Auburn had one of the best athletes ever be their honorary game captain while Oregon trotted out the host of NBA Inside Stuff.

Cam Newton. Redskins. I want this bad. Dan Snyder will make sure that Cecil Newton never has to work again.

Drew said...

G$...normal college football fans do follow recruiting. Hell, I'd watch videos of winter conditioning mornings just to see Braxton run. I'm sure it's orgasmic.

My favorite non-Buckeye bowl game was probably Iowa/Mizzou.

My least favorite bowl game was the Michigan/Mississippi State game. It was sad watching that and realizing the cluster fuck that was the Rich Rod era was ending.

I completely agree with you on Cam Newton. I would definitely take him over Locker, Mallett and Gabbert. In fact the only one of those three that I think even has a shot at being good is Mallett.

Drew said...

Oh...and those Oregon cheerleaders are fucking magnificant. Just unreal. Their coach is either some equally hot woman or just a great creep of a man.

Grumpy said...

Newton will be an NFL journey man, write it down. Locker will be a stud. I hope the Redskins sign Favre just to watch your head explode.

Drew said...

"Locker will be a stud". What has he ever done in his college career to make anyone think that? He's done zilch.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else think Herbie was awful last night? I bet he said "speed" over 100 times last night, and that's no exaggeration.

Congrats to Auburn. Its unfortunate how they got into FG range on that fluke run where everyone thought he was down. I want Fairly and Matthews on the Browns next year.

What pisses me off about Auburn winning is the other fans of SEC schools riding in their coattails. For example, AR-kansas fans were pretty arrogant for being AR-kansas fans in New Orleans. Their reason was because they're in the SEC and OSU was 0-9 against them. The problem was Arkansas had never played OSU, and Arkansas themselves was 0-5 against the B10! So what I'm saying is.. Unless you're a fan of Florida, LSU, Bama, or now Auburn, STFU!!! Don't talk shit to me if you're a Kentucky or Georgia fan bitch!!!


Dut

GMoney said...

You don't even know any UK or UGa fans, fagboy. The SEC rules.

Call me an insane but I actually liked Saban and Urban as analysts.

Jake Locker is fucking awful. He can't throw the ball which last time I checked was a good skill for quarterbacks to have.

Grumpy said...

I meant to say Luck will be a stud. Senior moment. And you are insane; Urban was terrible.

The Iceman said...

A big, athletically gifted SEC QB with a rocket arm, consistancy issues at times and leaving school a year early for the NFL? Stop me if you've heard this one before...

The Iceman said...

Matt Millen, this morning, said Newton should come back and play another year at Auburn...amidst an NCAA scandal that could possibly leave him suspended for next year AND in a year where the best college QB (Luck) has decided to postpone the NFL setting up some dumbass organization to draft Newton waaaaaaay to high and give him a fuck load of money...money he won't be able to get if he stays in school. This supports my theory. Take anything Matt Millen says...and do the opposite.

GMoney said...

Ice, who are you referencing? Mr. Purple Drank? Peyton Manning sucks, it could be him? J-Camp?

Grump, expect a lawsuit coming from the Luck Family for mistaking their son for Jake Locker.

Mr. Ace said...

We are talking about Michigan football tomorrow. Just fair warning.

Just think if Masoli wasn't a total fuck and was playing for Oregon this year. What an ass hole.

Dut sent me this text last night, "Osu>Oregon>Auburn ;)" Yes, he even included that faggy little smiley face.

Cam will suck in the pros. He doesn't make reads at Auburn. And when he tries to lower his shoulder into a MLB in the NFL he certainly won't be falling forward.

I can't believe Pitt didn't take Bradley from Penn State. Seemed like he was ready to move and take a lot of the staff.

Anonymous said...

My favorite non-OSU bowl would have to be Mizzou/Iowa.

Newton=the new Jamarcus Russell.

I liked Urban as an analyst. I am willing to bet he will be doing that next season. He was on ESPN a few times during the bowl season in that role.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

What happens if there is no NFL next year? Then are the players that came out early F'd? I know there will still be a draft, but the teams wouldn't have to pay these assholes a dime, would they? That would mean they're just sitting around smokin drugs and training while they could be playing another year in school and takin advantage of their status.

Dut

The Iceman said...

I'm referring to Cam Newton, Inc. G$. Everyone thinks Newton is going to be an NFL stud. I remember what happened the last time we heard hype like this about an SEC QB. Currently (Russell) he's unemployed and about the size of a defensive lineman. I think Newton's going to be a bust because like Ace pointed out...he isn't the best at reading coverage. And they compared him to Vince Young this morning on Mike and Mike. That's not a compliment. Sure, he can laser beam it to a guy who's wide open...but what NFL QB can't? Besides Chad Henne.

"What happens if there is no NFL next year?"

What if I had 47 penises?

Mr. Ace said...

"What happened if I had 47 penises?"

You would jerk off 47 times more than you do now?

If there is no NFL season next year...then the UFL will be fucking loaded.

Tony B. said...

Cam Newton will obviously be great- he is "God's Instrument" after all.

The Iceman said...

I would jerk off 47 times more than I do now. It would give me something to do during this phantom lockout that will never happen...ever.

GMoney said...

We're not even going to worry about there not being an NFL next year. Jim Schwartz will not allow that.

Newton is a winner. That counts for something. I could have done without his Jesus speech though.

Let's be honest here, none of us no shit about assessing quarterback play.

Mr. Ace said...

I can assess the shit out of quarterbacks. Gabbert is the next Stafford. Newton is the next Shaun King. Locker is the next...Pat White( he will be playing baseball in 4 years.) Mallett is the next Delhomme. And that's the bottom line, cause stone cold said so. Sorry, I just read the Ravishing Rick Rude piece on Deadspin and its got me going threw my greatest wrestling memories.

Anonymous said...

Les Miles turns down Michigan - that guy is a fucking idiot and he is still smart enough NOT to go there...

Seal

GMoney said...

Save it for tomorrow, Seal, per Ace's request.

I just want to remind you all again that I fucking OWNED you all in BOTH contests. And it's a damn shame, too. Because in the Yahoo pool, the winner was going to get a flat screen TV, a plaster mold of my dong, ten Bentley's, and Marisa Miller. It's just too damn bad that all of you are about as intelligent as Ryan Mallet.

Drew said...

I would have settled just for Marisa Miller.

Anonymous said...

Sorry im flying to Orlando tomorrow for a 5 day golf trip - wanted to get my Michigan shit talk in before i left.

Seal

GMoney said...

I hope that an alligator bites your hand off.