The college football season is over, but I’m not quite done with it yet. I need to borrow Ronnie’s mind condom because the Michigan coaching search is still mind-fucking me, some players are leaving early who shouldn’t be, and the fuckeye five need to be addressed, I guess.
I guess I’m a Hoke-A-Maniac. The Michigan coaching search sucked, my opinion will never change on that, and we are still stuck in a shitty situation because of it. As far as the actual head coach, I am starting to warm up to Brady Hoke because
he was a great hire I have no other choice. He has come in and said all the right things, the Michigan people love him, and Denard didn’t transfer…nobody has so far. I think he has handled the transition well, aside from one thing.
HIRING SOME FUCKING COACHES! Michigan still has a coaching staff that includes Hoke, an OC, a special teams coach, a recruiting coordinator, and a RB coach. That’s it. There was a rumor going around yesterday that Ron English would be brought in as Defensive Coordinator. I would rather bring back Greg Robinson…I wish I was joking but I’m not. But someone needs to be hired soon because right now the program is stuck in neutral while our recruits continue to look elsewhere. Off the top of my head, these are the recruits we have lost or missed on since the coaching search began:
- Dee Hart 5* RB went to Alabama.
- Kris Frost 5* went to Auburn.
- Sammy Watkins 5*, never an actual Michigan commit but was once leaning strongly that way.
- Anthony Zettel 4* went to Penn State.
- Dallas Crawford 4* went to Miami.
- Kicker Matt Goudis went to Miami. We need a gotdamn kicker.
- Antonio Kenard went to Miami
- Jake Fisher decommited
- Devin Lucien 4* was told to play defense or fuck off. He chose the latter.
There are probably more, but you get the point. This coaching search killed this recruiting class. I have no idea why there is no urgency when it is January 19th. But word on the street is Greg Mattison, DC of the Baltimore Ravens, has been offered the DC job at Michigan. If that happens then I take back almost everything I just said. (Update: Dammit, I need to stop writing this shit so early. Greg Mattison it is!) It’s time to dance.
Bye Bye Bye. My general rule of thumb regarding leaving early for the NFL draft is this; If you get a first or second round projection go get your money, if you get a third round projection you still go get your money, you just drive a Benz instead of a Bentley. Anything after that you stay in school and risk injury because first day money is worth it. So yeah, if you’re Fairley, Gabbert, Bowers, A.J. Green, or Patrick Peterson you ditch the dorm life and go buy 250 G’s worth of ice to wear on April 28th at Radio City Music Hall. But there are some who have made the wrong decision for whatever reason.
- Will Hill Safety, Florida. This is the worst decision I’ve seen. He is going in the fourth round at best, but with one more year, especially under Muschamp, he could have been a first round pick. If his teammate Janoris Jenkins, a first round lock, decided to stay at Florida for one more year then Hill’s decision should have been pretty easy.
- John Clay RB, Wisconsin. I’m torn on this one. If he’s in shape and healthy then he’s and early third round type back. But as is, he’ll be lucky to go in the fourth round. His carries would have continued to decrease if he stayed at Wisconsin and his stock may not have risen. This draft class may not have any top level RB’s, but it is deep. Another year couldn’t have hurt.
- Tandon Doss WR, Indiana. I’ve seen his projection range from third to fifth round. l don’t think there is any way he is around in the fifth. He has just been too productive for teams to pass on him. And he put up over 200 yards and had 3 TD’s against Michigan this year, that’s gotta count for something…
- Sealver Siliga DT, Utah. Undrafted…
- Zane Parr DE, Virginia. Undrafted…
- Henry Hynoski FB, Pitt Undrafted…Yes, you read that right. A fullback has left school early to enter the NFL draft. Great career move.
Apparently taking 6 credit hours, drinking for free, and banging your choice of 18-21 year old college chicks isn’t cutting it anymore. Speaking of which…
The Fuckeye Five. I’m honestly shocked that none of them left early. I figured Boom Herron was a lock to go and I think most Fuckeye fans would agree. I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising though. None of them would have been first round picks…probably not even second round picks. Still, Pryor and Posey just seem like guys who would have jumped at the first chance and Boom is definitely going to see a decreased role next year. Oh well, they’re all fags anyways.
What the hell am I supposed to talk about now that college football is over? Does Peter King do anything during the NFL offseason? I need some ideas or I’m just going to do ACEterviews with your favorite porn stars…wait a minute.