(You are all in big, big trouble)Dave Brandon, you sly little fuck. I was right, I was fucking right all along:
I have come up with a theory. Dave Brandon is using the media. At this point I think Jim Harbaugh is out of reach and taking his talents to the NFL. The majority of Michigan fans only want Harbaugh. Dave Brandon realizes this so he is leaking false information about the coaching search to the media about Rich Rod/Brady Hoke being the next Michigan head coach to gauge the reaction of the fans, and most importantly, the alumni. The reaction to Brady Hoke being the next head coach was PANIC FUCKING PANIC, just like he suspected, so he bought more time and postponed the decision until sometime today. That doesn't necessarily mean Brady Hoke isn't coming to Ann Arbor, but with Harbaugh out of the picture and Brady Hoke next in line, keeping Rich Rod around is starting to look a little more intriguing.I wrote that in last weeks post. Brady Hoke was Dave Brandon's guy all along. He wanted to hire him last week but Michigan fans lost their minds when the news broke. So he put together a FAKE nationwide coaching search where he met with Les Miles and made it seem like he was actively looking for someone else. Brandon knew that the Michigan fan base would grow tired of the search and not having a coach while watching our recruiting class totally deteriorate, so he only had to by time. He bought that time, Les did him a solid and made it seem like he was really contemplating coming to Michigan, Brady Hoke was hired and the majority of the Michigan fan base is just happy the whole ordeal is over. Well fucking played DB, well played.
This hire sucks. If it was Hoke all along it should have been done a month ago. The process was a sham. Denard Robinson is as good as gone and I can't blame him. I have no idea how he is going to fill his staff(Well fuck me, he is bringing his OC from SDSU. Denard is definitely gone). This recruiting class is dead. WE HAVE THE WORST COACH IN THE BIG TEN...not named Ron Zook. Seriously.
COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS POST I HAD WRITTEN BEFORE NOON YESTERDAY THAT I REFUSE TO DELETE BECAUSE I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT BRADY HOKE HAS BEEN HIRED TO BE THE MICHIGAN HEAD COACH. I SIMPLY REFUSE. It is still worth the read because I say so, and I worked in a dynamite Brian Reed joke.
I had planned on talking about the Les Miles hire and how he could keep the Michigan team intact and go after some of the recruits we lost. He is a "Michigan Man" but he recruited Ryan Perrilloux, Jordan Jefferson, and Russell Shepard to play QB, so he is more than willing to run a spread offense. But...fuck. Les Miles was a mothafuckin lock Monday night, and then it all changed...like it always does. Michigan is coachless, spurned by Jim Harbaugh, Pat Fitzgerald, Jon Gruden(I assume...I'm not really sure why I include him like he was even an option), Les Miles, and Gary Patterson. The A-list is fucking dead, folks.
I don't recall a coaching search ever being like this. There is no possible way for a University to handle this situation worse than Michigan has. The world has now seen Michigan rejected at least five times and has everyone wondering what the hell is wrong there.
So what the hell is wrong at Michigan? We have an incredibly supportive fan base, a shit ton of money, upgraded facilities, tradition, a Heisman frontrunner potentially coming back, and a fan base begging for somebody to come rescue us. Michigan is no quick fix, but it's also not a total breakdown and rebuild. The offense is there as long as the coach has some flexibility; it obviously doesn't transition well to two tight ends power football. The defense sucks, but has a ton of experience and everybody is coming back.
All that being said, I can understand why Gruden, Fitzgerald, Harbaugh, Miles, and Patterson turned us down; Aside from Fitzgerald, who will stay at Northwestern until the apocalypse, they all have better options than Michigan. The problem is, Michigan should have figured this out a month ago. Before the bowl game we should have already known Harbaugh, Gruden, Patterson were out. After the bowl game we should have reached out to Miles and Fitzgerald to gauge interest, before firing Ridriguez. So instead of sitting here with our thumbs up our ass on January 12th without a head coach, we would have known on January 4th that our options were Rich Rod, Brady Hoke, or some coordinator...Malzahn please? But here we sit with Brady Hoke's fat fucking face smiling back at us knowing that Michigan is poised to settle on him.
I said before that my choice was Harbaugh or Rich Rod all the way and I won't go over all that again. But look at the resources Michigan used to employ their coaching staff compared to the rest of the nation:
In 2010, Michigan peeled off $1.8M in compensation for former Coach Rodriguez’s staff, that ranks in the 73rd percentile for the 112 programs listed (top-31 money) but dead last amongst the big dogs. It’s clear that Rich Rodriguez had a specific vision for what he wanted his defense to be capable of and there he knew just the guy to do it. The word on the street is that Jeff Casteel just liked West FUCKING Virginia too much to come to Ann Arbor. OK. He earned just over $372k last year.That's embarrassing. This is why I wanted to keep Rich Rod and shell out a ton of cash to a Defensive Coordinator and let him bring in his own staff. MICHIGAN HAS THE FUCKING MONEY! They (reportedly) offered Miles $5 mil a year for five years, which means the total staff would have been paid around $7 mil a year. Why not give those same resources and opportunity to Rich Rod and his new staff? Just fucking stupid.
Greg Robinson was our second highest paid assistant last year at $270k, but really he only made $5k less than Magee. Guess what the top two assistants in the hegemony--Top 15 Big Money schools-- averaged in 2010 excluding Muschamp…about $425k. We had the lowest paid offensive and defensive coordinators by at least $25k and we were $100k away from middle of the pack.
So here were are. I guess I should have a wish list...and it goes a little somethin like this:
1. PLEASE FUCKING CHRIST NOT BRADY HOKE!
“Right, wrong or indifferent, when you’re zone blocking all the time -- when you’re playing basketball on grass -- you practice against that all spring, you practice against it all fall and then you’re going to play a two-back team that wants to knock you off the football,” Hoke said. “I don’t think you’re prepared. I think there’s a toughness level (required in college football). I still believe you win with defense. That’s been beaten into my head a long time, but I really believe that. The toughness of your team has to be the offensive front and your defensive front.”This is how Brady Hoke feels about the spread offense. Good bye Denard. This is Lloyd Carr football. Learning how to coach from Lloyd Carr is like getting swimming lessons from Brian Reed. BOOM.
2. Gus Malzahn. Not even sure he is an option, but he will never be a hotter coaching option. Easy transition for our offense. Might have trouble assembling a staff since he has limited experience in the college ranks. But I think people would be willing to jump on a staff with him.
3. Tom Bradley. He is obviously tired of waiting behind Joe Pa and is making it known by interviewing for every coaching job possible. He is the back bone to Penn State so he might find it hard to come to Michigan, but the price will be right. And Brandon said he wants a guy with a defensive mindset.
4. Kyle Whittingham. I think his record and results speak for themselves. Defensive minded, but his teams have ran the spread since he has been at Utah.
5. Again, anybody but Hoke.
Oh yeah, G Money won Money Shot Bowl Mania.