Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Cammy Cam Juice: A Leader and Legend

(Say hello to the Legends)

And Cecil wept...somewhere. Cam Newton won the Heisman, just like he was supposed to. I don't know if he will ever have to give it back, and it really makes no difference to me. I don't see Reggie Bush highlights and think, what a fucking cheater! I think that guy was one of the sickest college football players ever. The same can be said for Cammy Cam.

And to all you dolts who didn't vote for him, take off your fucking blinders! This shit happens EVERYWHERE! And why not? Sure, Reggie and Cam might look bad for about 10 seconds, but they will be millionaire's by that time. USC has been doing this since Carroll's arrival and they only got caught once. I'd say the strategy paid off. Your elite college football players aren't student athletes anymore, they are mercenaries. Deal with it.
Fuck you, G Money. G$ talked about this yesterday, in a shitty two paragraph post, but fuck him. This is my conference and my topic. The Leaders and Legends. Has a catchy ring to it...if Zelda were coming out with a new game on Wii. Jim Delany, you incredibly unclever prick. I'm not even pissed about Michigan, "Leaders and Best", being in the fucking Legends division. That's dumb enough on its own, but nothing else is even relevant with these shitting division names. EAST and fucking WEST! That simple. We are the Big fucking Ten, not the WAC. We don't need to recreate the conference or turn any heads. People know who we are. The fucking Leaders and Legends? How about the Ruh and the Tards?

And then, as a nice little bow on this shit filled package, we get a new logo. This logo:
What the fuck is this? Why is the "I" a "1"? Why is the "G" trying to resemble a "0"? It already fucking says Big Ten in the fucking name! One and fucking Zero don't need to make an appearance! What team in the Big Ten is wearing Chargers powder blue? Is this logo sponsored by USA Today? How did this happen? Did Jim Delany give his grandkids a baby blue crayon and tell them to write Big Ten on a piece of cardboard? No, he gave the crayon to Terrelle Pryor.

I have scoured the interwebs for better ideas and this is what I came up with:

Get it? There is a cock instead of a 1! Brilliant. Sit on that Jim!
This is horrible, but not nearly as bad as what we paid some company millions of dollars to produce.
Leaders and Legends suck, but if that's what we have then fucking own it!
I could handle this.

But seriously, it is this fucking easy. That would be perfectly fine.
Fuck.

Money Shot Bowl Challenge Bitches.
Rules: Instead of those pussy bowl pools where you pick the winner and rate your confidence, we do shit the man's way, pick it with the points. That easy. I will give a brief preview of every game of the week, give the point spread, give my pick, and the you money shot maniacs put your picks in the comments. I will keep tally of everyone throughout the bowl season and the winner gets to write their very own Roast Post, in which they annihilate anyone and everyone they please...or they get the respect of million's of money shot maniacs, your choice.

New Mexico Bowl: UTEP vs. BYU(-11.5)
BYU is HOT. They have won 4 of their last 5 and their only loss was by one point to UTAH. There offense has slowly been improving over the year and they actually have a defense. Bronco Mendenhall is a solid coach. I think they will show up and roll. UTEP on the other hand has lost 5 of there last 6. So yeah, Mormons -11.5.

Humanitarian Bowl: Northern Ill(-1) vs. Fresno St.
NIU losing their coach is a big deal, the line went from -3.5 to -1 when that happened. Pat Hill is still at Fresno so the coaching edge clearly goes that way. And most importantly, no team can recover from losing a conference title game to Miami(OX). NIU is the better team, but losing a back breaker and a head coach is too much to overcome. Fresno +1.

New Orleans Bowl: Ohio vs Troy(-1)
The line has moved from OU-2.5 to Troy -1. What happened? I don't know. I think the betting public loves Troy from the upsets they had several years back. But I can't imagine the betting public is huge on the Troy/OU game. Maybe Troy is just better. Or some wise guy put big money on Troy and the line moved. I'm going with that theory, which means I'm going with Troy -1.

St. Petersburg Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Louisville(-3)
Another big mover. Southern Miss was favored by 2.5 and are now 3 point dogs. I'm rolling with Charlie Strong here. He has brought his defensive mindset to Louisville and put out a Top 15 defense. He also found a beast in Bilal Powell. I don't think Southern Miss will slow him down. Louisville -3.

Here is a link to the final Money Shot Bowl Madness post of last year's bowl season. After reviewing what went down, it appears Drew's faggot ass won. Let's call it a fluke.

There you have it. Leave your picks in the comments.

17 comments:

GMoney said...

The Big Ten logo should really just be a sack of money with a dollar sign on it with "GO FUCK YOURSELF" below it.

Dammit, I'm going in the same direction that you are with the picks. BYU, Fresno St., Troy, and the home of Rick Pitino's dumpster baby.

Drew said...

Damn straight I won it last year...no shock that the most knowledgeable college football poster on this blog would be the champ of it. I can't wait for my post this year.

My Picks...

BYU
Fresno
OU
Southern Miss

Anonymous said...

I actually like the logo with the 12 in it. That makes way more sense than what the genius's came up with.

My picks:
BYU
FRESNO
TROY
S. Miss (only to differentiate)


Dut

The Iceman said...

The logo is gay, the names of the divisions are gay and anyone who supports this decision is gay. Might as well have named them the Dick and Balls Divisions.

BYU
Northern Illinois
Troy
Louisville (Lullvulle to the fucks that live there)

MuDawgfan said...

Fresno +1
BYU -11.5
Ohio U +1
Louisville -3


Thanks for doing this again!

GMoney said...

Don't thank Ace, thank me.

And is this the day that Pitt steals Mike Haywood...

Jeff said...

BYU
Fresno
OU
Louisville

Tony B. said...

BYU
Fresno
Troy
Southern Miss

It is pretty funny that they wouldn't call the divisions Hayes and Schembechler because it would be unfair to the other teams. The NFL's championship trophy is called the Lombardi trophy and no one thinks it is unfair to all the teams besides the Packers.

Anonymous said...

BYU
Fresno
OU
Louisville

Seal

Grumpy said...

Mormons
Fresno
Meigs Co. Gold
Papa John's Boys

Anonymous said...

The real reason behind including the 10 in the logo was to help out all of the illiterates that attend/attended the conference.

BIG and TEN are a definite stretch for them.

-Winger

Anonymous said...

BYU
Fresno St
Troy
Louisville

Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

2nd to last in 2009 due in large part to not paying close enough attention. That and not having a effing clue. 3rd to last is the goal for 2010. Here it is.

BYU
Fresno St
Ohio - this is the only Ohio team going bowling that I hope wins.
Southern Miss - because they don't have Brett Interceptarve playing for them.

Akron Paul

Upstate Underdog said...

BYU
Fresno
Troy
S. Miss

Mrs. Ace said...

BYU
Fresno
OU
Southern Miss

Fags.

Anonymous said...

I know it's late. My CPU has been messed up.

Southern Miss

Andrew

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