Thursday, December 30, 2010

The 2010 Money Shot Man Of The Year

The end of the year is nigh so we must reflect on 2010 and figure out who was truly the greatest man of the year.  It took me awhile to shrink the talent pool down to five finalists, but I am confident that we have the right men and we will honor them like the titans that they are.  No more setup, let's get to the nominees:

Pauly D - I personally thought that Vinny outshined Pauly in season 2 of Jersey Shore, but I could see how others would differ.  But when you realize that both seasons were broadcasted in 2010, you have to look at the entire body of work.  Pauly wins.  And I read the other day that he is getting his own spin-off show called "Pauly's World"...outstanding.  I'm going to watch the shit out of that.  And I still hope that Sammi shits her pants to death.

Phillies Fans - Some would look down on them for their bad behavior and douchebaggery, but not here.  Running out on the field and getting tased?  Yes please.  Making yourself vomit on someone else?  As long as it isn't me, that's pimp shit.  How bad must Yankees fans be if Cliff Lee's wife is willing to go to Phillies games for four or five years with these animals?  Makes you think...

Jim Schwartz - I've been saying it all year, but I love this guy.  No one gets pissed off better.  That is why I will be sending daily letter bombs to the HBO offices to ensure that the Lions are next year's team for Hard Knocks.  I want more Schwartz.  I need more Schwartz.  How does he react when someone messes up his lunch order?  I bet he throws shit across the room.  And to think, the Redskins were thinking about hiring him before the Zorn fiasco.  Fuck.

Brian Wilson - Pretty much the perfect year for The Machine.  World Series champion.  Became an American hero.  Owner of a sick beard.  I don't think that any team should be able to win a title without a compelling character that America likes.  The Saints had Brees.  The Lakers had Adam Morrison.  The Yankees have A-Rod.  All of our favorites!  And this is why the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl this season...because we all love Danny Woodhead.

THE WINNER(S) OF THE 2010 MONEY SHOT MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD ARE:

Arthur Moats and Corey Wootton - This may be the only award that a Bill or Bear ever wins.  But they must be recognized for ending Brett Favre's drama this season with badass hits that turned them from nobodies into icons overnight.  Those were hits against sexual harrassment!  Against holding organizations hostage!  Against fake retirement press conferences!  Against infidelity!  Against backbreaking, season-ending interceptions!  These two are sending this old fucking goat home for good.  And that makes me happy.

Congratulations, Arthur and Corey, on your well-deserved award.  We'll be back tomorrow for our last post of the year...a preview of the G$FL Super Bowl or as everyone likes to call it, "Please, don't let Damman win again"!

21 comments:

Drew said...

Those are all great candidates...and I love that Schwartz is a nominee along with Pauley D...two of my most favorite individuals. I have no problem with your choice for winner though. Although...if Favre plays on Sunday (1/2) and Suh paralyzes him...is the contest already over for 2011 man of the year?

GMoney said...

Yes, it would certainly be over. Suh's near beheading of Delhomme in the preseason was not forgotten when it came to the nominations either.

Seriously though, you would love to see the Lions on Hard Knocks, wouldn't you?

Drew said...

I'd give up one of my testicles.

Anonymous said...

How did Pauly D not win? This is bullshit!

The Browns would be a much better choice for Hard Knocks... who wouldn't want to see Brian Robiskie and Muhammad Massaquoi show off their talents?

Dut

The Iceman said...

Was that the biggest landslide victory in the history of Money Shot Man of the Year? I would have to say that it is considering how big of a choad Favre has been his entire career.

Mr. Ace said...

Is Sterger Woman of the Year then?

Drew said...

I'm fine with Sterger as woman of the year...although I think she's a cunt...but show me a woman that isn't.

All five suspended Buckeyes signed a paper that they are coming back next year. Gonna be a weird season.

The Iceman said...

Way to fuck up your own NFL career before it even starts. What a dumb decision.

GMoney said...

With all of these coaches getting shitcanned, the Browns could be on the verge of losing Rob Ryan AKA the only interesting member of that organization.

Why would you give up a paycheck that apparently you DESPERATELY need, to play 7 more games in college? This is dumber than trading your awards for ink.

Drew said...

I find the always getting skinnier Eric Mangini to be interesting too.

I bet they get a game knocked off that suspension, which gives them 8 games...we are obviously going to be in the BCG too...which gives them 9 games. That's plenty of big stages to improve your draft stock a ton.

The Iceman said...

How could you possibly support this decision and think it's going to improve their draft stock? This is up there with one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Braxton Miller is enrolling early and will be the starter next year. If he is as good as everyone thinks he's going to be and OSU is rolling with him in there, will they really jeopardize that and give Pryor the job back as a lame duck QB for the last half of the year? Not to mention that when any player sits out a significant amount of time it usually takes them a few games to knock the rust off. You might be the only one who thinks playing next year will improve these guys stock. We already know what these guys are capable of and what kind of players they are. They have a big enough sample size currently. However many games they play next year won't change scouts opinions.

Drew said...

Huh? How is Braxton going to be better than TP in his fourth year?

I think it's a terrible idea for Boom to come back.

It's a solid move for Posey to come back as he will be the feature WR and he just had a terrible season.

It's a GREAT move for Adams to come back. He was labeled a bust going into this year...then he got his shit together and was first team big ten. He's probably a third round pick right now since he's only had one good year. If he comes back and is flat out dominant...he will be a top half of the first round guy with his size....that's a TON of increased money.

The Iceman said...

How many awards are these guys going to be up for playing half a season? None. What more can they prove in 8 games that 3 full seasons didn't show about them? Nothing. Right now they are who they are. These guys have no more room to improve as college players and 8 more games isn't going to show an NFL team something they don't already know about them. I can't envision a scenario where scouts watch these guys in 7 or 8 games and say..."You know what? I was wrong about this guy. I'm gonna move him from the 4th round to the 2nd round." Not happening.

Well, if you listen to most Buckeye fans who have a veiny rager for Braxton Miller you would think he's already better than Pryor.

Drew said...

It appears the 2011 man of the year contest will remain open after this season...Favre failed his concussion test yesterday. But, more props to the 2010 winners for putting his brain in that position.

Drew said...

I completely disagree that they couldn't improve their draft stock with eight games next year. That's two thirds of a season. I really think Mike Adams could be a mid-first round pick if he continues this improvement...there is no way he would be that this year.

I love Braxton too...but, I don't think he's exactly Peyton in Vick's body...which you are correct some people make him out to be.

GMoney said...

Adams is the only left to gain because it gives him another year in the weight room. Posey still can't catch and Pryor is still a wide receiver. Herron should definitely leave because he might not even see the field next year if Berry and Hall have good offseasons.

Solomon Thomas is just killing time before he becomes a garbage man.

Back the award though, did I forget anyone? I thought about the nominees for waaaaaaay too long.

Mr. Ace said...

Adams could also come back and be a total fucking bust. There is no guarantee either way. If he is projected as a 3rd round pick right now I would say that is good enough reason to leave and get prepared for the draft.

Braxton throwing to TP and Posey would be the best thing for the Fuckeyes next year. It will never happen, but that would be some serious fire power.

Lebron deserved some consideration for man of the year.

Tony B. said...

Some where in an attic there is a portrait of Eric Mangini getting fatter.

They should start a commercial series for Rob Ryan- The Most Interesting Man At The Browns. Then Browns Hard Knocks would be unnecessary.

Congrats to Corey Wootton and that guy on the Bills. They truly deserve this award.

The Iceman said...

I would have to agree with G$ here. If anyone should stay it's Adams. But as Ace points out, the chance for him to fuck everything up and drop even lower on the draft board is just as probable as him having a sweet year and improving...especially with a guy that took 3 years to live up to his hype. He could just as easily regress and drop in the draft. It's a high risk, high reward situation and if I'm any of those guys I follow the money that's available to me now...you know, since that is clearly what's most important to them.

I thought for sure Sal Alosi would get a nod here...or at least an honorable mention to Stack Daddy Hastinger. This is probably the most anyone has talked about him since Senior year of high school.

Drew said...

You know who could deserve a spot here? That unknown guy with the biker helmet that robbed that Vegas casino of a ton of money in chips a month ago. There is something about that surveillance video that I just love with him running away with that helmet on. I'm sure he's dead now though.

Antoine Dodson could have got a nomination too..he's brought me much laughter this year.

Anonymous said...

Fast forward to 1:34. Video of the kid getting picked up the next day. http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/breaking/Bodysuited-Phillies-Field-Jumper-Sean-Hagan-103476519.html