I never understood what it meant when people used the term "sawing logs" when it came to sleep. Well, the wife does. Except that when I'm inebriated, I chainsaw fucking redwood trees. I apologize for nothing. When you get the chance to booze it up with guys like -Rex, Cramer, and a gentleman who has nude pics of himself freely available on the internet, you do it. While my wife will argue that nothing in the NFL this week is worse than my breathing, I disagree. Let's get the worst of week ten rollin'.
*Thursday Night Games - I hate these. They make no sense and the games are almost always sloppy. Yes, the Ravens/Falcons game ended up being a thriller, but it still took a half for everyone to wake up. However nothing compares to that NFL Network booth. Matt Millen is absolutely terrible. But he is a thousand times better than Joe Theismann. He is the absolute shittiest man on the planet. I've never heard anyone contradict themselves more than Joe does. Lawrence Taylor should have broke his neck.
*The Lions - First of all, way to go Buffalo! Bills, baby!!! The Lions now have not won a road game in their last 25 trips away from Detroit which is, of course, an NFL record. God they suck. And two weeks ago, they killed the Redskins. That makes sense.
*Brett Favre - And the Vikings season is officially over now. He should just quit. Did you know that the Bears are 6-3? They have to be the worst 6-3 team ever, right? They better not make the playoffs. And why are games at Soldier Field so bright? It's almost like they play on the sun.
*Peyton Manning - You suck, faggot. And exactly why do you throw EVERY pass to Jacob Tamme? He isn't good. You killed my DFL team, you bumbling fuck-up. Get fucked. Way to lead your offense to 16 points against the shitty Bengals.
*Pierre Garcon - What a turd. He drops everything (which would explain why Tamme gets all of those looks, I guess). He fumbled away an easy onside kick recovery and then took his helmet off like a braindead dicksniffer. Fortunately, the Bengals are rotten and seem to enjoy beating themselves.
*Chad Pennington - Nice comeback, jerk. What was it, 2 plays? And Chad Henne still sucks white guy dick.
*Gus Johnson's sanity - That was some finish in the Jags/Texans game. It was made all that much better with Gus screaming his head off like some sort of insane hobo who just found a bottle of gin in the dumpster that he's living in. Priceless stuff. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Love ya, Gus!
*Browns fans - OK, come back down to Earth now. Stupid people like Damman and The Iceman were wondering if it was possible for the Browns to run the table and make the playoffs. I said no because that was unrealistic and not remotely possible. Look, the Browns play hard and they are well-coached. But they don't have a ton of talent. At least Braylon didn't do much. Never forget that Rex Ryan is the superior Ryan.
*Nick Folk - If he was a decent kicker, that game would have not been close anyway. Keep that in mind.
*Romeo Crennel - Nice job by the Brown Mound letting Tim Tebow score twice on his defense. Ouch. The Chiefs were due for a shitty game though.
*TROY SMIFF SICK! TROY SMIFF SICK! I still think that the Niners are going to win the West.
*My weirdo love last week for the Giants - Last week, I said that the Giants would be a touchdown favorite over anybody in the league. And then 7 days later they get destoyed by Jon Kitna and his new daywalker coach. The Cowboys looked pretty good actually. But just like the Chiefs, the Giants were due for a stinkbomb. Which is what I thought was happening when the power went out at Giants Stadium. A part of me was hoping that the terrorists were vaporizing the Cowboys and Giants franchises. But I'm a sick fuck like that.
Ummmm, I think that that about covers it. Everyone seems to think that the Eagles are going to roll tonight. I disagree. The Redskins are better. They proved it 6 weeks ago. McNabb has a tendency to put up big games after controversy. I expect the same tonight. Skins win 24-20.