Monday, November 08, 2010

The Worst Of Week Nine Vol.IV

It's funny because Mike Commodore is a pussy and never plays.
Instead of spending the entire weekend on the couch, I convinced She$ to come with me to the Wild/Blue Jackets game on Saturday night.  They are actually playing well this season and we had nothing planned anyway so we went.  We didn't worry about tickets because this is the Jackets that we're talking about and they don't sellout (especially during football season).  So we get a couple of cheap $22 upper deck tickets which aren't bad seats at all and have an enjoyable evening at Nationwide Arena.  Of course, the CBJ lost.  That's seven losses in a row when I'm in the building.  I am quite the hex.  But my issue is with the attendance configurations.  It's no secret that the Jackets are having problems getting people into the building.  Being terrible for 9 of the first ten years of the franchise will do that.  Here's the thing:  the upper deck was almost entirely filled up.  The lower bowl was maybe 65-70% full.  I attribute this to walk-up customers not wanting to spend $100 on a seat.  Makes sense.  Isn't there something that the CBJ can do about this?  Isn't there a way for the ticket office to sell, say, 90 minutes before the game all unsold lower bowl tickets for $40 and all upper deck for $20?  It just looks weird to see the empty seats near the glass.  And while the team would be losing money on the ticket face value, it's still something and since the concessions are ridiculously expensive ($9 for a beer is cool in NY, not in Ohio) they would still be getting some money.  I don't know.  That's just me.  I will never spend more than $25 on a hockey ticket anyway.  Hell, pretty soon, with the record I have as a fan, I'm going to get banned.  But I wonder if it's possible to offer discount day-of-the-game tickets for walk-ups?  Thoughts?  Tony B is a ticket asshole, is this doable at all?

Worst of the week begins now.  We're going to stop numbering them.  Why?  Because Browns fans can't count anyway.  Let's get going.

*Ndamukong Suh - What a shitty kicker!  Although he did make me laugh for about 4 minutes.  Listen, big black dude, knock off the pussy soccer-style bullshit.  Real men go straight on!  I will volunteer to show you how it's done.

*Matthew Stafford - Let's just ignore the fact that this fag goes by "Matthew".  Can he ever play consecutive games?  This is getting ridiculous.  I'm starting to think that Stafford's shoulder is made out of papier mache. 

*Brad Childress - I don't care that this child molester was able to beat a horseshit Cardinals team in overtime at home.  This pedophile is a terrible coach who has got to go.  I hate the Vikings and wish the worst for them and even I want him gone.  How is it even possible for a coach to go over the owner and the GM to start releasing whoever he wants to?  It would have been awesome if Childress waived Moss on Tuesday, Wilf holds a press conference on Wednesday, and announced that Moss was staying and that Childress was fired.  That would have been great.  But then it was made even better because later on we found out that Percy Harvin tried to kill the head coach a few days later!  Who still respects this guy?  Does he think that he has a job lined up with the Mets but he needs to get fired first?  Because it appears that he is just trying to get canned at this point.  There is NO WAY that he is ever a head coach again.

*Matt Schaub - This guy blows.  He's had one good game this year and that was against a shitty Redskins secondary.  He was a fluke last season.  Yeah, I'll say it.  And his coach is going to get fired.

*Chad Henne - I just don't see this guy ever winning.  He blows.  And he looks stupid with his layers of forehead flab.

*Bill Belichick - Uhhhh, what happened to the days where a rookie QB had no chance to beat Belichick?  You've got to hand it to the Browns.   They play hard and play tough.  It seems like every trick play that they use works and Hillis is a beast.  But come on, Pats.  They were supposed to be the best team in football through the first eight weeks.  I never thought this though.  They don't have any playmakers.  And I'm getting sick and fucking tired of watching Brady whine about every little thing on the field.  Additional shittiness mention to that Gronkowski TE who was just horrible all game long.  If the Browns were in the NFC, I would consider them a playoff contender.  But they are playing well and are improving every week.  Good for them and good for Slim Mangini.  I always like seeing him beat his mentor and that watch Billy be a douche at the postgame handshake.  And did anyone else laugh on the McCoy TD run when cheapshot artist Merriweather got tittied up by Josh Cribbs?  I love vigilante justice.

*Tom Cable's shirt - I just wanted to draw attention to the badass Raiders bowling shirt that Cable wears on the sidelines.  Well played, wife and assistant coach puncher!  But besides that, RAIDERS, BITCH!!!  SUPER BOWL!

*The 31 teams in the NFL not the New York Giants - Best team in the league (right now) BY FAR.  They would be a 7 point favorite against anyone (except for the Raiders in which they would be a 45 point underdog).  Yeah, I said it.  And I hate them but it's true.

That's it for me.  I need to lick my wounds.  I got MURDERED on wagers weekend.  I can't stress that enough.  Just destroyed.  It was a bloodbath.  FUCK YOU IN YOUR HORSE CUNT, Zenyatta.  Which is yet one more reason why I will be sitting in the upper deck for all future Blue Jackets games.


Drew said...

Not sure how to fix this lower bowl issue. My first thought was wait until half way through the first period...print off a bunch of lower bowl tickets that were not sold and then do one of those mascot races on the jumbo tron where a couple rows in the upper deck will win those unsold tickets...and then they move down. The only problem with this idea is you might really piss off those few season ticket holders that pay a ton to sit in the lower bowl. I still think it's a pretty good way of doing it though.

As for Suh....that wasn't that bad of a kick.

The thing I want to know about Stafford is if they rushed him back too soon. I think it's obvious that they must have. He's going to get a BS label as a soft player, but I'd like to see the man that wouldn't get hurt from that Browns hit last year....and this year fucking Jeff Backus let Julius Peppers of all people run as fast as he could at Stafford to drive that shoulder into the ground. Very deflating game yesterday.

At least with Orton on a bye this weekend I was able to pick up Josh Freeman...dude is good at football.

GMoney said...

Yeah, there was no way that the Lions should have lost that one. But I did notice that the demise of Revis Island was false as Megatron was nonexistent. Didn't matter though as my sick G$FL team still put up 100.

Stafford is soft. He weighs in at about 3 bills, doesn't he?


The Iceman said...

Seriously?! You left Wade Phillips off this list??? Just tragic. I would hope it's because this was written before the Sunday night game. Dallas got their assholes straight fingerblasted last night. What killed me though is at the end of the game when Dez Bryant's thought process was on hookers and cocaine and he botched a routine punt return, the Packers defender who picked up the fumble appeared to be out of bounds when he gained possession. Does Wade challenge? Nope. He just stands there looking like he egg-farted hoping no one will notice. Collinsworth (who I love by the way) even commented on it. No way Wade is the Cowboys coach after today. None. Here's to hoping James Harrison cheap shots another player tonight and gets a lifetime ban. I PUT PUSSIES TO SLEEP!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't challenge the play Iceman, because I had no timeouts. Learn the rules of the game. This Cowboy team is highly overrated and no one could turn this train wreck around. You try coaching this group of ratards. Rumor is we are trading a 1st round pick to the lions for Nate Burleson (Fuck you Jerry Jones and blow me Iceman).

That is all,

The Iceman said...

Hey Wade...relax buddy. Don't take your inability to coach out on me. That's your fault you didn't have any timeouts left at the end of the game. You play the role of "likeable uncle who buys all the underage kids beer" better than anyone else and allow your players to fuck up constantly. You are the #1 enabler. Maybe if you ran a more discipline team you would've had a time out to challenge with...assuming you cared enough to do so. Big Tuna didn't have problems coaching that team...and that's almost the exact same roster before you took over Wade. Have fun coaching special teams in the Big East next year.

GMoney said...

This is always written before the Sunday nighter. I didn't know if I was watching the Cowboys or The Walking Dead last night.

What is the line going to be when Dallas goes to the Giants next week? -40?

Wade, thanks for commenting. You may be a taint bomb as a head coach, but you can run my defense any time. I have to warn you though, I don't actually have a defense.

Tony B. said...

Drew's idea is actually a pretty good one. The main concern with lowering any prices in the lower bowl is making sure to not piss off the people who paid a higher price for season tickets (there could also be people who regularly buy single game lower bowl tickets at the regular price that would get angry.)

The SF Giants tried doing a supply/demand auto-updating price structure that adjusted itself daily based on the amount of tickets left and the rate of sale at a certain price. Ticketing like that would be awesome and adjust to consumer habits, but you'd still have to cater to the season ticket holders to make sure they weren't pissed off.

The A's covered their whole upper deck with a tarp and don't sell the cheaper tickets. I'm not sure how well this has worked seeing as they get 14,000 a game on a good day. The idea is to make less cheaper tickets available so people have to buy the higher priced/lower to the field tickets. I'm thinking this tactic would mean customers like G$ just wouldn't go to the games at all (could be good for the team?)

The key thing (and the reason why Drew's idea is very good) is to make any upgrades on tickets or deals on tickets random. If someone (or even a section) is upgraded from the upper deck, it should be their lucky day- not a consistent thing that is easily abused. This will help keep the season ticket holders feeling like their money spend was worthwhile and help fill in the gaps in the lower area.

Grumpy said...

Columbus has professional hockey?

Anonymous said...

I'm loving what the Browns are doing.. But they need to stop dumping gatorade on the coaches after wins. They need to act like they've been there before (even though they haven't). I'm calling superbowl next year. That's a guaransheed.

Rob Ryan should be the AFC MVP this season. The Browns should pay him whatever he wants to keep him.

The Lions are the same old Lions- just with more talent. The way they blow games every year is laughable.


GMoney said...

Thanks for the update on that, Tony. Makes sense and I guess if there were a perfect solution, everyone would do it.

Grumpy, they have uniforms and everything!

Dut, you're still gay. But Hillis and picks for Brady Quinn might go down as the worst trade ever.

Drew said...

Tony has just reaffirmed my genius. Anyone have any other questions?