Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Will Not Watch

Ok, I'll suck one more dick but then I've got to go.
Oh sonofabitch.  I think we can all agree that Colin Cowherd is a complete shithead elitist who talks down to his audience.  I don't understand why some people like him.  He has no appeal outside of being a homer for the big market cities.  And he's gay.  That being said, fuck CBS.

CBS has purchased pretty much his life story and plan on making a sitcom about it.  Terrible.  Just awful.  I can't wait for the episodes about how Cleveland fans should get over themselves, how John Wall will never win in the NBA because his dad died when he was 7 years old, or, what could be a two-parter, how Beanie Wells should have fallen in the draft because people at his draft party were drinking soda.

If you don't know about this, Colin went on one of his stupid tangents about the Wells family drinking pop on camera as opposed to Donald Brown's family not drinking soda.  He implied that this meant that Brown was the safer pick.  Make sense?  No.  Of course it doesn't.  The fact remains that both of them suck anyway regardless of what their family members like to drink.

So who plays Cowherd in this surely terrible TV show?  Michael Cera is gay enough but too awkward.  Nathan Lane has the gay and the lack of sports knowledge but looks nothing like him.  My pick and you know damn well that this will be the choice...Jay Mohr.  And since Mohr isn't funny, it will be a perfect fit for the 6 episodes shown before it gets cancelled.  Let me know if you have someone better that could play this fucker.

Fuck Cowherd.  And shame on you, CBS.  Stop making shows that only stupid midwesterners watch.


Grumpy said...

I had satellite radio when I traveled and sometimes listened to this dickhead. Extremely annoying. Used to talk about his divorce. Who gives a shit.

Seen bits of his tv show; also awful, although his co-host is kinda cute.

Definitely Jay Mohr.

Drew said...

This sounds like the worst idea ever. Do you know the worst part about it? They are probably paying him a nice chunk of money to have this show about his life and he doesn't even need it....the ego boost alone will sit well with him. I've probably listened to a total of ten minutes of his show over the last two to three years...I have a co-worker who listens to it daily and gets all riled up about how stupid he is. I'm just like, "Why the fuck are you still listening to him then?."

Jay Mohr is a good pick. He's also a good pick because he's married to the first chick I was every really super attracted to on TV....Nikki Cox. Of course she somehow also somehow married Bobcat Goldthwait first....and has had a disgusting amount of plastic surgery to her face....but, I just try to remember the good ole days when she was a fiery hot read teenage girl with huge tits and would wear slutty little outfits on her WB show "Unhappily Ever After". I miss that Nikki.

Anonymous said...

Daniel Snyder would be the perfect choice. He's an idiot, knows nothing about sports as evidenced by his 80 something million offered to Donavan McSuck, and god almighty he is ugly as Colon Coward.

Akron Paul

GMoney said...

Mmmmmm Nikki Cox...she and Vanessa Marcil made Las Vegas a weekly watch way back when. I guarantee that James Caan crushed them both.

Drew said...

G$....Don't forget about Molly Sims on that show....and that hot little brunette who played the character of Piper in the last seaon.

The Iceman said...

If Owen Wilson did TV shows I could definitely see him playing Cowherd. They both have fuckin jacked up noses. Not that I really give a shit since Cowherd drinks camel piss and fucks a home made vagina he made out of silly putty. Cowherd is a perma-douche and I want nothing to do with this shit licker. The only reason I listen is because there is literally no other sport talk radio option in Northwest Ohio.

Anonymous said...

I actually like Collin most of the time. Occasionally he'll say some asinine things, but when you're on the radio for 20 hours a week that's going to happen. Maybe I just like him because I am also better than all of you at everything? Sounds about right.

And I agree.. The show sounds like a terrible idea. Maybe this would be a good idea in 40 years when he is immortalized or put into the hall of fame or something, but the dude is in the middle of his career.

Who drinks soda anymore? I mean seriously.


GMoney said...

Flip that around, Dut. Occasionally he will make decent points but mostly he's Skip Bayless.

I hate Molly Sims on that show. The black british chick was better. James Caan fucked them all.

Tony B. said...

I feel like I've heard this idea before- oh, that's right, it's because I have. They had a failed TV show that never aired about Tony Kornheiser that was going to star Jason Alexander. Ugh.

James Caan making sweet love with his TV daughter Molly Sims is hilarious and frightening at the same time. I guess that's like Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter being married in real life.

GMoney said...

Classic Cowherd today...he would rather give Mark Sanchez 60 mill than Vick because you date addicts, you don't marry them.

1. Sanchez has proven nothing
2. That makes no sense