Tuesday, November 02, 2010

We Saw The Real Cavs This Weekend

You probably hate me but I'm better than you think.
Yesterday, I put on my fantasy GM hate to suggest that this coming offseason, the Bengals should unload Carson Palmer on the stupid Vikings.  And I have yet to take off my smart guy hat just yet.  I've got another great deal cooking up in my noggin, but first, a shot by shot analysis of Anthony Parker's uber-shittiness.  In short, he blows.  That is all.
Now I'm not naive.  Even with the opening night win over the Celtics, I still know that this year's Cavs team is going to struggle.  And they proved me right last weekend when they got CRUSHED by a lousy Raptors team on Friday and followed that up with a massive choke to the Excremento Kings on Saturday.  It's going to be a long season.  Antawn Jamison looks AWFUL.  Manny Harris is actually taking his warm-ups off.  Their go-to guy appears to be Jamario Moon right now.  Not good.

To make matters worse, it wouldn't be a Cavs season without Dan Fegan being an asshole.  Fegan represents Anderson Varejao and has bitched and moaned every fucking season.  It's ridiculous.  Fegan sucks.  And he's doing it again this year.  Already, he's throwing out feelers that Varejao should get traded to a contender.  Honestly, I agree with him.  I like Andy too much to see him lose 75% of his games this season.  I want to see him win.  I want Varejao to stick around, but if he isn't happy anymore, I think that we would owe it to him to send home somewhere where he can win.  During this massive rebuild, by the time that this team is ready to roll again, Andy's best days will probably be behind him.  So I will freely admit that if the price is right (and it fucking HAS to benefit the Cavs), I say go ahead and do it.

The same teams are already rumored to be interested namely the Thunder and the Blazers.  Andy would fit in well with both teams and would be a nice piece on either roster.  Not a starter for them, but will be on the floor at the ends of games.  I don't think that OKC would offer Jeff Green with picks so I'm not really sure that the Cavs could get a nice package from them.  Which leads me to this:
Send Anderson Varejao to Portland for Greg Oden and a 2011 #1 pick.

The Blazers have already made it known that they have no interest in resigning Oden after this season.  It appears that they are ready to admit defeat and cut ties with him.  I can see where they are coming from.  What an awful decision that was to pass on Durant.  As for why the Cavs should do it, it's simple.  Free agents are not going to come to Cleveland which means that the organization needs to take a few chances.  This is a risk but there is a pretty high ceiling there.  Big Z had injury issues his first few years in the league and that ended up turning out alright.  Who knows?  Oden is coming closer to home.  Maybe that motivates him?  He'll definitely sell tickets.  He doesn't have the type of personality that would want to play in a city with big lights and a ton of media.  I just think that this works out well for both teams (because the Blazers would be getting a better and healthier player now).  And with the Cavs not concerned with winning big now, they can bring him along slowly.  Personally, if Chris Grant called Portland and offered this, it would take him two seconds to say yes.

What do you think?  Is it worth it?  Does it make as much sense as I think it does?  I could see myself loving an Oden/Hickson/Harrison Barnes frontcourt for the next decade.  I should really be a GM.  Who else would bring Greg Oden's internet penis to the same city as Grady Sizemore's internet penis.  Can the Browns trade for Brett Favre and Santonio, too?

19 comments:

GMoney said...

Big props to the Giants for winning the World Series. Never ever forget that pitching always wins. Ron Washington might be the worst manager ever. He made his team look like frauds with his terrible decision-making.

Greg Oden's penis.

Drew said...

The Blazers haven't made it clear that they don't want Oden back. They only made it clear that they are not offering him an extension until they see how he comes back this year...and when you have played 82 games in three years, I think that's pretty fucking fair. I'd make that trade if I was the Cavs too though...why the fuck not...and it's not like you'd have to pay him much.

Conley got a 5yr/$45 M extension last night...one of only four players in that draft class to get an extension. He's been on an absolute tear since the last couple months of last season. He's made the leap.

Anonymous said...

So Sizemore and Oden both in the Cleve?

Think the Browns could get the Ol' Dongslinger and/or Chris Cooley?

They could be the Planeteers or online penis!

J from JBeanie

GMoney said...

Drew, they also haven't shown any intention that they want him back either. I'm just a sucker for a good SWAT.

I'll believe in Mike Conley when I see it. Which will be never because Memphis will never be on TV.

How could I forget about Cooley!!!

Mr. Ace said...

Is Andy really worth a #1 and Oden? I don't put my NBA thinking cap on until Feb. so maybe I am just missing something. Seems like that is a steep price for a 6 or 7 guy who has no offensive game.

Brian Wilson is fucking awesome. He's like Zach Galifianakis in Hangover...but he's fucking real!

Mr. Ace said...

Donovan McNabb does not have the cardiovascular endurance to run a two minute offense.... that's great.

Grumpy said...

Your argument for the trade makes sense, but aren't you afraid that he'll be Bill Walton minus the good years?

GMoney said...

What Andy does can't be really looked at on stat sheets. He'll give you 8 and 8 with about 5 hustle plays per night. He just makes teams better. He's a Brazilian-waxed Derek Jeter! They are getting 0 and 0 from Oden. And the #1 would be in the mid 20's anyway...it's not like Portland would be giving up a lottery pick. Not to mention that they just dealt Jerrad Bayless to NO for their near certain lottery pick next year.

Tony B. said...

I like the trade idea. It makes almost too much sense because even if Oden breaks his hip or has some other geriatric injury, at least you get a #1 pick. The Blazers would immediately get better production on the front court. Seems fair.

G$, at least you jumped on the Giants bandwagon at the very last minute. I think Joe Buck is still picking the Rangers to win.

Tony B. said...

By the way, whoever designed the back of the Giants' championship hats was a moron. I'm sure the Giants organization thanks you for making the World Series trophy logo look like a cock.

Anonymous said...

I had Tim L, cliff lee, Hamilton, and Wilson all on my fantasy baseball team.

At least I didn't finish last!? Or did I!?

J Saul

The Iceman said...

That trade makes no sense G$...only because I plan on stabbing and killing Varejao in the next month.

GMoney said...

Obviously that trade proposal did not consider a potential Monica Seles situation. You would puss out though because Pistons fans are bitches.

Drew said...

Pistons fans took on Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson...they are far far from being bitches.

GMoney said...

And they were destroyed. Only moron Piston fans would try to pick a fight with criminally insane 6'8" black dudes.

Drew said...

That's right...Pistons fans are crazy motha fuckas. Remember Jamaal Tinsley swinging the trash pan at people...dude felt the need for weapons.

The Iceman said...

Pistons fans are crazy. They'll beat you with a sock filled with batteries and shove broken glass up your dickhole. I promise if I ever saw Varejao in public I would at least punch his stupid fucking face. The jail time would be worth it for me.

GMoney said...

Look at us...arguing back and forth about 2 of the 6 or 7 worst teams in basketball. Where did it all go wrong?

Leather Blazers said...

nice post love it