In three days the Scarlet and Gay will host the Maize and Blue in what is universally accepted as the greatest rivalry in all of sport. There is no reason for me to talk about anything else going on in college football, but feel free to bring up whatever you want in the comments.
Where do I even begin with this one? After watching Michigan's bi-polar episode against Wiscy, I can only hope that we bring our second half offense in of the first. My Michigan fan soul was officially crushed when we lost to Penn State. After a couple less than impressive wins, my soul was regaining its strength for the stretch run. But then my soul was obliterated by the drubbing Wiscy put on us.
After all the ups and down of this year, and the enormous difference between my raging offense boner and super flaccid defense dong, I just don't care. I know all you Fuckeyes will come out and say that I don't care because the team sucks and I know they are going to lose and all Fuckeyes are fucking awesome because they are Fuckeyes. Whatever, I'm truly emotionally detached from this game.
I assume most of the people that read this are degenerate gamblers so it is safe to assume that several of you have played the lotto before. I never have, but I have thrown $5 down on a ten pick parlay many a time. Well that is exactly how I feel about this game right now. My gambling account is down to $5 and I'm throwing a Hail Mary parlay, knowing full well that my odds are 120-1 for a reason. If I hit this 120-1 Hail Mary will I lose my mind? You bet your ass.
Will I lose my fucking mind and face fuck the nearest Fuckeye if we win? Fuck yes. Would you lose your fucking mind if you won the lotto? Fuck yes. That's basically what this game is for me. It's a longshot that won't ruin my day if we don't win, but the potential reward of the win is enough to keep me involved, even if only slightly involved.
I guess at this point I should make some sort of prediction and state what I hope DickRod will do, but know he won't. So....RichRod, I know you are reading this. All I have to say is, BOMB-THE FUCK-AWAY! Offense, defense, special teams, locker room, whatever, balls out. It seems like the last several weeks the offense has came out conservative and that simply can't happen against the Fuckeyes. I need the ball thrown down the field early and consistently. I need Denard in open space. I need to see several fake QB draw and throw to the wide open WR down the seem plays...which I haven't seen for several weeks for some reason.
That's really all that matters. The Fuckeyes are going to do what they have to do to stay one score ahead, so Tressel-ball may likely rear its ugly head. The Fuckeyes will score at will. I hope that the blitz will be dialed up non-stop to force Pryor into quick decisions, but that would make way to much sense for our defensive coordinator to comprehend. DickRod has to open it up and open it up early for Michigan to have any chance.
How about a prediction? The last time I really wanted the Fuckeyes to lose I predicted they would beat the shit out of Wiscy. I plan on invoking that exact same type of jinx today. The Fuckeyes dominate. Pryor has 4 total TD's and puts himself back atop the Heisman race. Posey has 180+ yards receiving, that one honkey adds another 150. Denard Robinson will throw 3 interceptions and lose one fumble, but be responsible for 3 TD's. The defense will give up over 450 yards...in the first half. The Fuckeyes will win 34-21, only because Tressel can't bring himself to turn Pryor lose in the fourth quarter.
Fire Greg Robinson.