Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Game

(That is fucking greatness)

In three days the Scarlet and Gay will host the Maize and Blue in what is universally accepted as the greatest rivalry in all of sport. There is no reason for me to talk about anything else going on in college football, but feel free to bring up whatever you want in the comments.

Where do I even begin with this one? After watching Michigan's bi-polar episode against Wiscy, I can only hope that we bring our second half offense in of the first. My Michigan fan soul was officially crushed when we lost to Penn State. After a couple less than impressive wins, my soul was regaining its strength for the stretch run. But then my soul was obliterated by the drubbing Wiscy put on us.

After all the ups and down of this year, and the enormous difference between my raging offense boner and super flaccid defense dong, I just don't care. I know all you Fuckeyes will come out and say that I don't care because the team sucks and I know they are going to lose and all Fuckeyes are fucking awesome because they are Fuckeyes. Whatever, I'm truly emotionally detached from this game.

I assume most of the people that read this are degenerate gamblers so it is safe to assume that several of you have played the lotto before. I never have, but I have thrown $5 down on a ten pick parlay many a time. Well that is exactly how I feel about this game right now. My gambling account is down to $5 and I'm throwing a Hail Mary parlay, knowing full well that my odds are 120-1 for a reason. If I hit this 120-1 Hail Mary will I lose my mind? You bet your ass.

Will I lose my fucking mind and face fuck the nearest Fuckeye if we win? Fuck yes. Would you lose your fucking mind if you won the lotto? Fuck yes. That's basically what this game is for me. It's a longshot that won't ruin my day if we don't win, but the potential reward of the win is enough to keep me involved, even if only slightly involved.

I guess at this point I should make some sort of prediction and state what I hope DickRod will do, but know he won't. So....RichRod, I know you are reading this. All I have to say is, BOMB-THE FUCK-AWAY! Offense, defense, special teams, locker room, whatever, balls out. It seems like the last several weeks the offense has came out conservative and that simply can't happen against the Fuckeyes. I need the ball thrown down the field early and consistently. I need Denard in open space. I need to see several fake QB draw and throw to the wide open WR down the seem plays...which I haven't seen for several weeks for some reason.

That's really all that matters. The Fuckeyes are going to do what they have to do to stay one score ahead, so Tressel-ball may likely rear its ugly head. The Fuckeyes will score at will. I hope that the blitz will be dialed up non-stop to force Pryor into quick decisions, but that would make way to much sense for our defensive coordinator to comprehend. DickRod has to open it up and open it up early for Michigan to have any chance.

How about a prediction? The last time I really wanted the Fuckeyes to lose I predicted they would beat the shit out of Wiscy. I plan on invoking that exact same type of jinx today. The Fuckeyes dominate. Pryor has 4 total TD's and puts himself back atop the Heisman race. Posey has 180+ yards receiving, that one honkey adds another 150. Denard Robinson will throw 3 interceptions and lose one fumble, but be responsible for 3 TD's. The defense will give up over 450 the first half. The Fuckeyes will win 34-21, only because Tressel can't bring himself to turn Pryor lose in the fourth quarter.

Fire Greg Robinson.


Anonymous said...

I belive Michigan has beaten Ohio St. a grand total of 3 times since that heroin dealer played.

Typical Michigan fan..."I don't care." That's why Michigan fans are among the worst in all of sports. How can you not care about this game? I honeestly cannot envision a scenario where I would not care about this game. But, that's also why Rich Rod will be back for another thrilling 7-5 season next year. The fan base sucks.

OSU - 42
Mich - 24


Drew said...

Your jinxes can't help you this week and neither can Greg Robinson's scary tickle bears. Buckeyes will score at will and the defense will provide plenty of stops. I mean really....Ohio State is not going to lose to a team whose defensive coordinator has succumbed to pushing stuffed animals into his players faces to get them fired up on the sideline.

OSU 55
Michigan 21

Anonymous said...

I think Michigan will come out and score early and take the lead, but eventually their defense will wear down (after one possession) and OSU's defense will force some turnovers.

Terrelle Pryor will look like the best QB in the nation on Saturday.

I'm lovin this game being after Thanksgiving. It's kind of weird thinking that OSU football was over at this time last year. They should add another bye week and push this shit into December.

Ace- I can't believe your attitude toward this game. I don't think other Michigan fans feel the same way. If the roles were reversed It would still ruin my year with a loss (if I hadn't killed myself already). You can't underestimate how faggy the opposing team's fanase is (Ace, Iceman, Naptown Wolverine).


Drew said... are right...I can't underestimate it. I imagine the triumvirate being like Richard Simmons, Ant and Clay Aiken.

GMoney said...

This some huge rivalry when some fans don't even care. WHAT PASSION!!! I was dicking around at the Miami bookstore yesterday and saw a book of the top ten most heated rivalries in sports by something Davies (so you know I'm not making this up). Yankees/Red Sox was number one. Yeah, they got it right. Because those fans never stop caring about the outcomes.

My prediction for the big game this weekend:
Auburn 31, Alabama 33.

What an awesome time in frigid Yager Stadium last night. 8-4 fuckos!!! Although I've been shitting up liquid Fricker's for the last 12 hours.

The Iceman said...

Make no mistake. I care. I care a shit load. Having said that...when you go into this game KNOWING your team is not as good as the other one and you have accepted that fact already, if Michigan loses it won't sting as much as it normally would. What do you fuck heads expect from us? Do you really think Michigan fans are gonna sit here and say we have a legit shot at beating OSU? Do you want us to make improbable predictions and shout that Michigan is gonna beat you 50-0? Unlike OSU fans, we are able to admit when our team is clearly lacking in an important area needed to win games like this. Our defense doesn't give us a chance to be better than average and to beat OSU you have to be better than average. We have to play our best game to win and I'm not sure this team is capable of having a "best game".

I can say that if Michigan does find a way to win this one I can see several friendships being severed because of it because of how much shit Fuckeye fans have talked over the past 6 years.

MuDawgfan said...

There is no reason for me to talk about anything else going on in college football

Then can we please get someone serious on here to break down the Auburn/Alabama game? The game with National Title implications?

I like Bama in this game too. AND I'm prediciting Arizona over Oregon. NOW THAT IS FUCK YOUR SISTER BOLD SIR!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Except for that cunt Drew

GMoney said...

E. Gordon Gee better shut his fucking shithole. Boise State would beat Ohio State by double digits anytime any place.

Mr. Ace said...

Listen fucksticks, I have been saying this for several years about Michigan football, and football in general: I don't care nearly as much. I didn't go to Michigan, I have no stock in the program. I don't like the idea of rooting for or against 18-20 year olds who are playing a game...unless they are named Tyrone Pryor. I just don't care as much.

That being said, will I still sit in front of the TV and use profanities the entire game? Of course. But when the dust has settles and Michigan comes up the loser they most likely will be, it's not going to ruin my day. That is all.

As far as the other games going on...The only reason I give Alabama a chance is because they basically had a bye week last week so they have been gameplanning for at least two weeks solely on this game. I will still go with Auburn though.

Oregon is going to get the turds out of Arizona.

Anonymous said...


You can go fuck yourself. I care about the game, but I know Michigan d sucks worse than you and ace at sucking dick. We still have a bet you huce piece of shit.


Grumpy said...

Go Kent. The only college game I care about this weekend.

Tony B. said...

"You know, it's a mystery," Gee said. "We were No. 1 then No. 11 then No. 7 and we ended up playing for the national championship [in 2007.] I think I kind of like that mixed-up mystery." -- E. Gordon Gee

Where did you OSU folks find this bowtie wearing d-bag? He likes the mysterious nature of the BCS? Why watch non-fiction when you have a mystery novel in College Football? Wow.

Drew said...

That's great. So, the guy who is given one day a week to talk about college football all of a sudden says he just doesn't "care" much about it anymore. Fuck you Ace. G$...How about you let Ace post his thoughts on the WNBA each Wednesday night from 2-4a.m. and then take it down...and let a real fan discuss the happenings of college football.

Unlike Ace I guess, this Saturday is far and away the most important day that I have each year. Fuck Michigan...I relish every win the same regardless of how bad Michigan may be and I will be equally as devastated with each loss.

I'm glad that Tressel stole Ace's spirit. Cooper couldn't get that done for me.

Anonymous said...

Drew, my life doesn't revolve around college students athletic abilities. Sorry. Get a life. Its honestly scary how insane you sound in your last post.

Go jerk off on a sweater vest.


GMoney said...

As one of the few Ace supporters here, even I am saddened by how pussified this post was. I hate college athletes just as much as pro athletes because they don't have to do anything in school if they are remotely decent.

Don't come out tonight, fag, or I'm gonna go all Zoltan Mesko on your sack.


The Iceman said...

I love how that lowlife Pryor called out Herbstreit and said he wasn't a "real Buckeye" because Herby actually picks college games objectively and doesn't blindly choose OSU every game just because he went there. But then again most OSU fans hate Herby BECAUSE he is objective and doesn't follow blind allegiance like most OSU vermin do.

I guess this is the behavior we should expect out of someone who chose Lebron James as his mentor. Stay classy Pryor. You're more and more like Vince Young every day.

The Iceman said...

"Well, I don't know enough about the Xs and Os of college football," said Gee.

Well then shut your fucking mouth and go OD on some centrum silver you geriatric fuck.

Drew said...

G$...OSU would curb stomp Boise anywhere anytime.

Ace...It's no surprise to me that you don't get it...much like how your hill-jack head coach doesn't get it. The Iceman seems to get it...your probably just going to watch the game with some chicks and everything will be cool when you drive home and pop your Kesha CD in. To each their own. Oh...and I stopped jerking off onto the sweater vest after your Mom started growing chest hair and nicknamed it her sweater vest.

GMoney said...

Boise would pound the shit out of that soft O-Line of yours. And Kellen Moore, the best QB between those two, would annihilate Osama Chekwa. And don't even get me started how much of a better coach Peterson is. It would be a blowout. You know this to be true.