Thursday, October 28, 2010

Happy Belated NBA Prediction Post and Preview

You WILL blow out your knees this year, you backstabbing bitch.  Papa Shango guarantees it.
There is a weird emptiness inside of me for the start of this NBA season (which snuck up on me like whoa).  For the first time in 7 years, I'm not very excited.  We all know what happened and I don't want to get back into that.  It hurt.  It still hurts.  Over time, it will stop hurting.  But now, if I allowed #6 to make me enter the grieving process, I would be classified as just barely still in the "anger" category and on my way to "acceptance".  I'm beginning to move but still I've gotten to the point where I hope that the Heat get into a plane crash but only if Pat Riley is aboard.  That fucker needs to die for ruining basketball TWICE now.  The first time was with his thuganomics brand of Knicks bullshit and now for turning the league into a joke that only idiots like Colin Cowherd don't understand how bad it is for the sport.

If LeBortion didn't want to be a Cav for life, then that's fine.  Just don't expect a warm welcome when you come home and don't ever expect the public to be on your side.  And those new Nike ads where you ask what were you supposed to do, I've got the answer for you:  it was OK for you to leave but only if you did everything else in the exact opposite way that you ended up doing things.

And it still kills me how all of the "people who don't get it" keep saying that Cavs fans need to get over it.  So I'm just supposed to sit back and smile about my team going from being the best regular season team in the league the last two seasons to quite possibly the worst team in basketball?  Oh yeah, I'm really pumped about that!  Not to mention that all of this was accomplished by our native son collectively pulling down all of our pants and buttfucking our will to live out of us on national TV behind the guise of some bullshit charity?  Yeah, I don't wish that on anyone.  Because it sucked.  And let me tell you, seeing that the Heat lost on opening night was fucking delightful.  But I'll talk more about the Heat later.

Before I get to a few points and predictions for the coming season, I would like to give props to the usually douchey bunch from Rover's Morning Glory, one of those wacky FM morning shows based out of Cleveland.  If you didn't hear about it, they brought in some sort of witch doctor to put a curse on LeBortion and the Heat.  I find this to be awesome and hilarious.  The art of voodoo isn't practiced enough in sports.  I hope it works.  There needs to be more Jobu's in competitive athletics.  Thoughts on the season in which only 5 teams have a chance to win the title!

Most Overrated Player - Chris Bosh and it isn't even close.  This guy is a pussy who isn't even remotely worth max money.  What has he ever accomplished?  Has he ever played a full season?  Look, Miami is going to get everyone's best every single night which means that games will tend to be physical.  And he doesn't play that way.  He has no chance to live up to the money that he is making.

Most Underrated Player - Manu Ginobili.  I hate saying this because Mr. Ace owns this fag's jersey, but much like Prince, that cat can ball.  I think that we get so angry over how gay this guy is that we forget how brilliant he is with the ball in his hands.

First Coach Fired - Jay Triano in Toronto.  That team is awful and it isn't his fault.  But he's going to take the fall.

Most Overrated Team - Oklahoma City.  They will make the playoffs.  They will be good.  But they aren't going to be one of the top three seeds out West like many think and they aren't going to win their division.  The Thunder are still a year away...but they excel at having BJ Mullens on their NBDL roster.

Most Underrated Team - Sacramento.  This is my pick for surprise team of the year.  Evans and Cousins will be a force for years in the league.

Three Bold Predictions:
1. Evan Turner won't just have a below-average rookie season, but Doug Collins will BURY him on the bench.  He's already stuck behind pretty good players and Collins has never been very good with young guys.
2. Behind Arenas and John Wall, the Wizards make the playoffs.
3. The Houston Rockets end up playing in the Western Conference Finals

Cavs Thoughts - It's going to be a tough year.  The scars haven't healed.  I could see many possible outcomes here.  The only things that I'm sure of is that they won't make the playoffs, they will be one of the worst defensive teams ever, and everybody but JJ Hickson can be had for the right price.  That includes Razor Ramon Sessions.  MANNY HARRIS MADE THIS FUCKING TEAM!  It looks like the Harrison Barnes Watch begins now.

Rookie of the Year - Blake Griffin
Coach of the Year - Jerry Sloan
MVP - Kevin Durant

Why the Heat won't win this year - Look at the past champions.  For the most part (other than the Celtics), it takes guys playing together for awhile to really gel into something special.  The Heat don't have the time to do that.  None of these guys have defined roles and I don't expect that to change for awhile.  And that sort of thing happens when your coach is a 14 year old Filipino transvestite who is a three game losing streak away from getting fired and replaced by Riley.  And they are also soft.  The lack of size was apparent on Tuesday night and will be a factor throughout.  I think that Boston, Orlando, LA, and Houston could all beat them in a postseason series.  Any team that gives Eddie House 26 minutes has more issues than you think.  And, you know, they have officially had a curse put on them.

NBA Finals - Celtics over Lakers...but it doesn't matter as long as it isn't the Heat

In conclusion, it's sort of fun being a diehard fan of every team in the league that isn't Miami.  I like it.  It gives me someone different to root for every night.  And I can not wait for December 2nd.  I would not put it past some deranged Ohioan to run onto the court brandishing a knife when the Heat come to The Q.  And if that does happen, LeBortion Jerky will be served to the first 10,000 fans through the gate.  Fuck that guy.  Fuck him in his mother's power-bush.  Oh, and if you want an NHL Preview, here it is:  the Sharks and Caps always choke.  Pick anyone other than those two.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Turner with a solid debut last night 16 pts, 7 reb, 4 assists. He's gonna be fine.

I find myself rooting for the Cavs this year. They are much more likable now that they don't have Lebron and all their bandwagon fans. I was early to the hate Lebron party. It started a couple years ago.

Who is Toronto's coach's name again? That's what I love about the NBA. I bet I could name maybe 10 coaches in the whole league. Who the fuck are some of these guys?

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Now all the "Cavs" fans can go back to being who they were. He went about it the wrong way, but Lebron taking less money to play for a better team. I applaud it. What should he do?

Anonymous said...

----Lange

Drew said...

ET did have a solid debut last night...best stat line of any Sixer.

Pistons open up with a loss in New Jersey...great start.

Nice win by the Cavs last night. Probably the first time I had rooted for them to win a game in five years.

GMoney said...

The Cavs have the potential, but probably not the talent, to be one of the best stories in sports this year. I hope that they do well, but they can't keep up what they did last night. And Hickson stuck it up Garnett's ass last night. That was nice.

Lange, you probably should have put quotes around fans instead of Cavs. The Heat lost to the C's and the Cavs beat the C's...what better team? Will you applaud Joey Votto when he is the starting first baseman for the Red Sox in a few years? Didn't think so. Go sit in the fucking corner.

Turner had a nice debut but then again, he was playing against the worst team in the league last night. And I still think that Collins ends up fucking him over for PT.

Kosta Koufos and Darko are teammates (I think). Awesome.

Drew, how about my NHL prediction? I couldn't write a better two sentences.

Drew said...

KoKo and Darko are indeed teammates. Way to make that happen Kahn! Now make a play for Byron and we'll all get T-Wolves jerseys.

Your NHL prediction is spot on until proven wrong. I think the Caps have a better shot of making you wrong than the Sharks do.

Anyone want to be a camerman for Brian Kelly and ND? Heard there's a spot open. What a fucking retard Brian Kelly is.

Mr. Ace said...

If only Ginobili could stay healthy for an entire season, only then would people recognize his greatness.

As times goes on, disgruntled Cavs fans are going to have the hate turn back on them. Not saying it's right, but that's what is going to happen. I've rooted against Lebron since he was in high school because nobody deserves that kind of hype, especially without any rings, so I'm certainly not going to change now. Fuck Lebron.

Manny Harris might crack the starting lineup by the end of the year.

GMoney said...

I still can't believe that Manny Harris made this team and he couldn't even make the All Big Ten first team in college (may not be true but I doubt it). He's terrible.

Drew said...

G$...I just checked and he was THIRD team all-big ten last year. He was second team all-big ten as a sophomore...so he actually digressed as a player. As a Cavs fan though, I think you should embrace the new Manny...forget about how much he sucked at Michigan. Which means...don't call him Manny...call him by either his actual first or middle name...

Corperryale L'Adorable "Manny" Harris

Anonymous said...

I think LeBron going to the Heat helped the league. For some reason I've been drawn to the NBA this season, and I think he's a big part of it. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I wasn't a Cav fan, but I will still be rooting against Miami every time they play. Also, like Damman said, the Cavs are now a likeable team because the doucher fans are disappearing.

I don't understand all the hate on Evan Turner. Is it only because he went to tOSU?

Dut

GMoney said...

Where did you read the Turner hate? I didn't mean it like that at all. I just think that his coach sucks and his style of play is going to take awhile to work.

The Iceman said...

"I don't understand all the hate on Evan Turner. Is it only because he went to tOSU?"

I think it's because most OSU fans are acting like this guy's a shoe in to be a stud. Who was the last worthwhile player from OSU to make an impact in the NBA? Michael Redd? He counts if you're going by half seasons since that's all he can stay healthy for. Seriously, the number of busts from OSU in the NBA is remarkable. Why shouldn't we think Turner will be the same? He fits the profile of an OSU bust. How long will it be before Portland fans start threatening Paul Allen's family over the Oden/Durant draft choice? That draft choice will be worse than Bowie/Jordan.

Anonymous said...

Will I be pissed if Joey Votto leaves, of course. But we will have to wait and see if that happens. He has made the Reds relevant just like Lebron did for the Cavs. The only thing is if he does leave I will still be a big Reds fan while the rest of you "CAVS" fans go away with time. On the other hand I will understand if Votto leaves and I will get over it. G$ when you stop crying like a child about Lebron then you can get up from your timeout corner. And your a joker if you think the Cavs are better than the Heat.

Iceman - First of all, you probably think Denard is a better basketball player than E. Turner. Who would have though you would have hated on an OSU player. And you left out the great Toledo product of Jimmy Jackson. What a great NBA player.

Joey Votto for MVP of your Cincinnat Reds!

---"What should I do" Lange

Anonymous said...

Actually, Dut, if memory serves me correctly, G$ was very complementary of Evan "The Villain" Turner in his last year at OSU.

I agree with Dut though on the NBA attraction. I will admit, my interest in the Cavs increased greatly over the LeFag era, but now I want to see all his hopes and dreams ruined almost as much as I wanted to see the Cavs win a championship over the past 7 years.

-Lil' Strut

The Iceman said...

"First of all, you probably think Denard is a better basketball player than E. Turner. Who would have though you would have hated on an OSU player. And you left out the great Toledo product of Jimmy Jackson. What a great NBA player."

Give me one good reason why I should bye into Evan Turner. Just one. History repeats itself and OSU's history is producing NBA busts. Can you agree with me there? Can you at least give me that much? And I don't hate OSU players. I like Oden. I think Oden's a great player. But we'll never see what Oden can really do and he'll be a bust because he was drafted #1 and can't stay on the court. Your last good to great player in the NBA was drafted 18 years ago...thus strenghtening my argument that OSU produces busts.

Anonymous said...

Iceman- I live in columbus and have never heard anyone call ET a shoe in to be a stud in the NBA. People would like to see him do well, but at the end of the day if he never sees the court it doesn't really matter. If he sucks in the NBA does that take away his Naismith award or pimpslapping of Michigan away? No. I only brought that up because G$ sounded like a hater.

Mike- Votto and Lebron is a horrible comparison. Lebron is a once in a lifetime player. Joey Votto is a faggot.

Dut

Drew said...

Mike Conley's a pretty good NBA player and seems to only be getting better.

Even with Mike Redd's last few years of injuries, you can not say he has been an NBA bust. He's 5th all time in Milwaukee scoring...been an all-star...and he was on the Olympic Gold Medal team in 2008. Give me a break.

Mr. Ace said...

I hate the Fuckeyes as much as anybody, but even I can see the ET isn't the typical Fuckeye. All the recent Fuckeye guys came out of school after one year. ET had the opportunity to leave earlier than he did but he stayed in school and refined his game. He put up 16, 7, and 4 last night...I think that will be about his career average. Solid all around player, not a superstar, certainly not a washout....and certainly no Manu Ginobili.

Any of you fags want to go to Patio tonight for some 99 cent burgers? Dustin is taking me on a date and I need someone else there just in case he rufies me.

Anonymous said...

Dustin- I'm comparing them to their teams relevance. I never compared them as stars. Lebron made the Cavs relevant as did Votto with the Reds. Go fist yourself.

--"What should I do" Lange

Anonymous said...

Lange- Votto alone doesn't make the reds relevant. Lebron alone makes the cavs or any team relevant. That's the difference.

Iceman- if history repeats itself, I guess OSU will also be putting a few players in the hall of fame.

Drew- I think Iceman is calling them busts unless they're superstars.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Where is patio?

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Dustin- Actually, Votto made the Reds relevant this year. Because he is in the MVP race the Reds were talked about more...therefore becoming relevant because of him. Go Tigers!

The Patio is at your mothers house.

--"What should I do" Lange

Anonymous said...

Lange,

If my mother was serving food at her house, she would not charge for it, you silly faggot. Even Turner > Tyler Fagsbrough.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Oh and Lebron with Wade and Bosh made the Heat relevant. Lebron alone on a small market team would make that team relevant. The heat were relevant prior to Lebron. Now they are more relevant. I hate the word relevant.

Anonymous said...

How many 'ships did E.T. have? E.T. = less relevant than Tyler Mansborough

Iceman- you are what we call a hater

--"What should I do" Lange

This is my last dumb argument G$. Sorry to bore you with all this talk

Mr. Ace said...

LS, Park Street Patio. It's not in the Short North so I don't expect you to know where it is.

Lange, fucking stop...or jon Kitna will PWN you.

Anonymous said...

Lange- relevance in baseball isn't about how much people talk about you. Its about winning. The Reds can win without Twatto. The Cavs cant (and don't even say something gay about winning last night).

Your wifes beaver is relevant.

Dut

The Iceman said...

"Iceman- I live in columbus and have never heard anyone call ET a shoe in to be a stud in the NBA."

I live in Northwest Ohio and Turner being a stud is all that people have been talking about...outside of OSU football. It's Troy Smith all over again.

"Even with Mike Redd's last few years of injuries, you can not say he has been an NBA bust."

I don't care how many points you score. If you can't stay on the court and help your team win when it counts then you're a bust. In Redd's prime he's played a full season zero times. The closest he came was in 05-06. There's a reason the Bucks have been shopping him the last few years.

"Iceman- if history repeats itself, I guess OSU will also be putting a few players in the hall of fame."

Way to reference players from the 70's. I was thinking more recent when shorts didn't hug the nuts...like the last 10 years.

"Drew- I think Iceman is calling them busts unless they're superstars."

If I'm using my lotto pick on a player, they better play in more than 40 games a year (Oden) and average more than 4 assists per game as a point guard (Conley). Furthermore...if I'm spending a lotto pick on you, you better contribute right away and not take 3 years to develop. Yeah...I would say that's a bust so far. Correct me if I'm wrong but teams use lotto picks on guys that are supposed to be NBA ready, right?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else stop reading icemans comments once you get past 'the iceman' ?

You can tailor your argument all day to defend your point. If you want legit feedback on your comments then you should post an 'iceman dictionary' for everyone to understand

Anonymous said...

Ace,

Actually, Park Street Patio IS technically in the Short North...Fag.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

Jesus, I take an hour break and all hell breaks loose over of all things, the NBA.

Mike Conley is not good. He was the #3 pick and is the 4th or 5th best player on a lottery team. Well done.

Redd was a stud. I'll give you that. Dude can probably still shoot. His biggest mistake was taking the extra money from the Bucks instead of coming to the Cavs (and they signed Larry Hughes instead...ugh).

LS is right. The only real hate I through at Turner was that he morphed into a whiny little bitch last year.

Here is what I know, "Lange":
The Heat got beat by the Celtics by 8 points and scored 80. The Cavs and their "inferior talent" beat Boston by 8 and scored 95. BETTER. That is PROOF. Dan Gilbert is going to win the next ten NBA titles with Manny Harris leading the victory parade RIGHT DOWN EUCLID!

Mr. Ace said...

LS...so since it IS technically in Short North you will definitely be there, right?

I love the Iceman hate. He makes the comments more enjoyable everyday.

Drew said...

Mike Redd was a second round pick...so by Iceman's lotto theory, it's basically impossible for him to be a bust.

I'd say Park Street Patio is technically arena district and not short north.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Iceman- there are lottery picks based on potential all the time. They're not always nba ready.

Lil strut- Park St patio is technically in the Arena District. I heard you technically just committed bro suicide and moved in with your girlfriend.. Your life is technically over. Just ask Daniel.

Dut

GMoney said...

Just got this text from Dut:

"Lange used my mom's full legal name on the blog!"

Two things: Dut is a pussy and we don't use real names here, Clubber. For legal reasons of course. My legal team does not work cases about fake titties.

The Iceman said...

"Mike Redd was a second round pick...so by Iceman's lotto theory, it's basically impossible for him to be a bust."

Excellent point. I officially recant my statement about Redd. Since he was a 2nd round pick there was no real expectation for him to be as good as he's been when healthy. Well done.

"Iceman- there are lottery picks based on potential all the time. They're not always nba ready."

True..but Oden and Conley were both drafted to contribute immediately. They weren't drafted to take over a spot that already had decent veterans in place. Neither have contributed much since and its season 4 for both.

The Iceman said...

I guess every site needs a villain...fuck it. I'll embrace it.

Anonymous said...

Iceman, you forgot to add the quote your talking about before that post.

Seal

Anonymous said...

I apologize to you G$ but not to Dut.

Let me rephrase what I said...
Anything sports related < Dut's newest twin sisters

Iceman all you need to ask is....

--"What should I do"

Mr. Ace said...

Fucking christ! 40 comments on a flame war that included Fuckeyes, Denarded, Manny Harris, Lebortion, Joey Votto, Cavs>Heat, and Dut's mothers enhancements.

Great Thursday.

The Iceman said...

"Iceman, you forgot to add the quote your talking about before that post."

Feel better?

Brady said...

Iceman-I guess every site needs a villain...fuck it. I'll embrace it.

Looks like this is a common theme among all the blogs you comment on. I'm sure it is everybody else and not you though...

The Iceman said...

Whatever Brady. Go back to jerking off to posters of Jim Tressel in booby tassels while Jamal Berry 5 finger death punches your asshole. If I want to know what Terrell Pryor's sperm tastes like or what Brian Rolle looks like naked in the shower I'll ask for your comments.

Brady said...

"Whatever Brady. Go back to jerking off to posters of Jim Tressel in booby tassels while Jamal Berry 5 finger death punches your asshole. If I want to know what Terrell Pryor's sperm tastes like or what Brian Rolle looks like naked in the shower I'll ask for your comments."

First of all, it is spelled Jaamal Berry. The extra "a" is for his special black guy florida speed. I already know what Pryor's sperm tastes like... wounded duck. The guy is a great college qb but an nfl quarterback he is not. His throws still make me cringe.

Don't hate on the Buckeyes just because you decided to channel Benedict Arnold and root for the fightin' DickRods. If you wanted to be a traitor and support some other state's team, why don't you move there? You could be "unemployed hunting gear guy" with the rest of them. Oh, and the NBA sucks.

The Iceman said...

Well, Berry wasn't important enough to look up in order to get the correct spelling of his name. You'll have to forgive me if I don't know the spelling of 3rd string running backs that are only "great" to OSU fans who tend to overvalue everyone on the roster. It's a free country bitch. I'd rather choose my team to follow rather than be brainwashed into liking a team because of where I live. Because I went to BGSU does that mean I have to like the Falcons too? That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. "You live in Ohio so you have to like Ohio teams!" Who says? Ohio State fans? The less like Buckeye fans I am the better is the way I see it. I never want to live in Ohio and be lumped in with your group of sloped forehead neanderthals.