|I would trade painted nipples for a face shot any day.|
On Friday night, 24 hours after the Twins were swept away, I'm walking through the Minneapolis airport. They have TV's set up at every other gate like most airports. It's usually set to CNN or Headline News or whatever else. Not there. EVERY TV had the Reds/Phillies game 2. And 90% of the people at the gates were hooked to the screen. It was bizarre. Also, and Tony B can confirm this, the entire goddamn city of San Francisco stopped whenever the Giants played. Everyone was wearing Giants shit. Sunday afternoon while we were getting ready to leave the taco bar, the noise coming from Giants fans was fucking deafening. There were thousands of Niners fans clogging up the concourse watching the final innings of game 3. We went out for BBQ on Monday night and the place blew up when Brian Wilson got the final out to lock up the series. I had some old ass Asian lady working at Target ask me who won and then did a big fist pump when I told her that the Giants were moving on. It was borderline creepy but showed me one thing...baseball still matters.
And that's the thing. The two biggest baseball poo-pooers here are Iceman and Ace. That's fine. Maybe the sport isn't their cup of meat. But baseball doesn't care what two guys from northwest Ohio think. It never has. It's never tried to. They crave the buzz generated this year in SF and Minnesota and Cincinnati and the exact opposite of what Rays fans did. While ratings have consistently been trending downward over the years, I can assure you all that baseball is alive and well where it matters most...in the big cities outside of Miami, Cleveland, and Tampa.
I hope that that made some semblance of sense. It really is hard to describe how cool it was to go to different places and witness how much they love their teams and the game itself. Anyway, let's get some predictions going since the ALCS begins tonight.
|Let's get some body paint on this fucking manatee.|
Thoughts - On paper, this could be one of the best series you'll see. The pitching is, for lack of a better word, tits. Personally, I won't be missing both games that Halladay and Lincecum are facing off against each other. They are arguably the two best pitchers in baseball. But I a major problems here that could hurt the NLCS. Actually, I see a few that could hurt the shelf life and watchability of this series. 1. The Giants could barely score off of Derek Lowe and he blows. What are they going to do against three of the best pitchers in the league? 2. Joe Blanton is for some reason getting the ball in game 4 and he eats farts. I want to think that the Giants can hang here but I just don't see it. There are just too many automatic outs in that lineup while the Phillies are a complete team. In fact, I'll go out on a limb here...
Verdict - Phillies in 4
Did you know? - Cole Hamels' wife, Heidi Strobel, was on Survivor and you don't have to search hard to find her fine ass from when she was in Playboy. Do yourself a favor and enjoy her nakedness.
|Real Yankees fans have chinstrap beards, whore!|
Thoughts - This could not have worked out better for the Yankees. They blew through their series and then the Rangers dragged their feet before sending the Rays packing. I don't care what Tyrone Biggums says, he should have pitched Lee on three days rest in game 4 to try and get that series over with on Sunday. And now he's fucked. Texas isn't going to beat the Yankees unless Lee starts three games. You can't beat them by throwing CJ Wilson, Colby Lewis, and Tommy "MILF" Hunter five times. If this series was happening ten years ago, when the Yankees were totally in the Rangers' heads, I would pick a sweep. But times have changed. Texas has good sticks but they aren't what the Rays have. Josh Hamilton is a total bitch for forcing his team to celebrate with Canada Dry. I guarantee that Tyrone had a nice pile of coke after the win, Hamilton should have sucked it up. As far as my Yankees go, I really have no worries right now other than horrendous defense of Jorge Posada. The rotation appears to have figured itself out. Phil Hughes has been lights out in his career against Texas. They've been here before and the Rangers haven't. Playoff saavy goes a long way. I'll give Cliff Lee a win but that's as far as I'll go.
Verdict - Yankees in 5
Did You Know? - AJ Burnett is fucking terrible. Oh, you knew that already? Huh, I thought that I was breaking news there. If I was Unfrozen Caveman Manager, and I'm so happy that I am not, I would just start AJ against Lee. Just accept the loss and burn your shittiest starter against the guy that you can't beat.
In the end, we all know this is going to happen. The Yankees and Phillies are going to meet in the World Series again. They are the two best teams with the biggest stars. Admit it, you want to see it. Probably because the Phils will more than likely win. And you all love it when I'm sad. Dicks.