Friday, October 15, 2010

Even If You Don't Care, Just Remember That You Don't Matter

I would trade painted nipples for a face shot any day.
I don't care about what the haters say, playoff baseball is a quality watch.  And both of these championship series should be incredibly entertaining.  But I realized something last still matters no matter how cool it is to say that it sucks. 

On Friday night, 24 hours after the Twins were swept away, I'm walking through the Minneapolis airport.  They have TV's set up at every other gate like most airports.  It's usually set to CNN or Headline News or whatever else.  Not there.  EVERY TV had the Reds/Phillies game 2.  And 90% of the people at the gates were hooked to the screen.  It was bizarre.  Also, and Tony B can confirm this, the entire goddamn city of San Francisco stopped whenever the Giants played.  Everyone was wearing Giants shit.  Sunday afternoon while we were getting ready to leave the taco bar, the noise coming from Giants fans was fucking deafening.  There were thousands of Niners fans clogging up the concourse watching the final innings of game 3.  We went out for BBQ on Monday night and the place blew up when Brian Wilson got the final out to lock up the series.  I had some old ass Asian lady working at Target ask me who won and then did a big fist pump when I told her that the Giants were moving on.  It was borderline creepy but showed me one still matters.

And that's the thing.  The two biggest baseball poo-pooers here are Iceman and Ace.  That's fine.  Maybe the sport isn't their cup of meat.  But baseball doesn't care what two guys from northwest Ohio think.  It never has.  It's never tried to.  They crave the buzz generated this year in SF and Minnesota and Cincinnati and the exact opposite of what Rays fans did.  While ratings have consistently been trending downward over the years, I can assure you all that baseball is alive and well where it matters the big cities outside of Miami, Cleveland, and Tampa.

I hope that that made some semblance of sense.  It really is hard to describe how cool it was to go to different places and witness how much they love their teams and the game itself.  Anyway, let's get some predictions going since the ALCS begins tonight.

Let's get some body paint on this fucking manatee.
 NLCS:  Giants @ Phillies
Thoughts - On paper, this could be one of the best series you'll see.  The pitching is, for lack of a better word, tits.  Personally, I won't be missing both games that Halladay and Lincecum are facing off against each other.  They are arguably the two best pitchers in baseball.  But I a major problems here that could hurt the NLCS.  Actually, I see a few that could hurt the shelf life and watchability of this series.  1. The Giants could barely score off of Derek Lowe and he blows.  What are they going to do against three of the best pitchers in the league?  2. Joe Blanton is for some reason getting the ball in game 4 and he eats farts.  I want to think that the Giants can hang here but I just don't see it.  There are just too many automatic outs in that lineup while the Phillies are a complete team.  In fact, I'll go out on a limb here...
Verdict - Phillies in 4
Did you know? - Cole Hamels' wife, Heidi Strobel, was on Survivor and you don't have to search hard to find her fine ass from when she was in Playboy.  Do yourself a favor and enjoy her nakedness.

Real Yankees fans have chinstrap beards, whore!
ALCS:  Yankees @ Rangers
Thoughts - This could not have worked out better for the Yankees.  They blew through their series and then the Rangers dragged their feet before sending the Rays packing.  I don't care what Tyrone Biggums says, he should have pitched Lee on three days rest in game 4 to try and get that series over with on Sunday.  And now he's fucked.  Texas isn't going to beat the Yankees unless Lee starts three games.  You can't beat them by throwing CJ Wilson, Colby Lewis, and Tommy "MILF" Hunter five times.  If this series was happening ten years ago, when the Yankees were totally in the Rangers' heads, I would pick a sweep.  But times have changed.  Texas has good sticks but they aren't what the Rays have.  Josh Hamilton is a total bitch for forcing his team to celebrate with Canada Dry.  I guarantee that Tyrone had a nice pile of coke after the win, Hamilton should have sucked it up.  As far as my Yankees go, I really have no worries right now other than horrendous defense of Jorge Posada.  The rotation appears to have figured itself out.  Phil Hughes has been lights out in his career against Texas.  They've been here before and the Rangers haven't.  Playoff saavy goes a long way.  I'll give Cliff Lee a win but that's as far as I'll go.
Verdict - Yankees in 5
Did You Know? - AJ Burnett is fucking terrible.  Oh, you knew that already?  Huh, I thought that I was breaking news there.  If I was Unfrozen Caveman Manager, and I'm so happy that I am not, I would just start AJ against Lee.  Just accept the loss and burn your shittiest starter against the guy that you can't beat.

In the end, we all know this is going to happen.  The Yankees and Phillies are going to meet in the World Series again.  They are the two best teams with the biggest stars.  Admit it, you want to see it.  Probably because the Phils will more than likely win.  And you all love it when I'm sad.  Dicks.


Drew said...

I'm with ya...very much looking forward to these two series.

I'm going Phillies in 5 and Yankees in 6. I think the Yankees lose games 3 and 4....Tommy "Milf" Hunter will give up less runs than A.J. "I love white trash tattoos" Burnett. They should be fun series to watch though. Yankees/Phillies will be a great World Series and I hope that Phillies kid who pukes on people comes up behind you at a bar while you are watching one of the games.

GMoney said...

I'll just tase his ass if he does because Phillies fans love getting tased.

Mr. Ace said...

I will watch these series, at least parts of them, as long as they aren't going up against football. That doesn't change the fact that baseball sucks and is less appealing than watching womens tennis. Just because people in major cities that have nothing better going on actually stop and watch the games doesn't mean they matter.

Giants will take one.

For some reason I think the Rangers are going to win. Something about having a crackhead in charge of your locker room just screams winner to me.

MuDawgfan said...

I kinda think the Giants will win a game too - gave my very depleted Braves all they could handle.

Also - it's hilarious that Fredi Gonzalez wouldn't even accept an interview with the Cubs in July because the Braves had been meeting with him since he was fired to negotiate his contract and staff. HA!

In closing, fuck the Cubs and the Central Michigan Chippewahs.

The Iceman said...

People don't care about baseball G$. They only care if the team in their city is doing well...and even still don't really give that big of a shit. If that Asian lady really gave a cock fuck about this shitty sport you wouldn't have had to tell her that her hometown team just moved on in the playoffs. I long has it been since the Giants were in the playoffs and this lady has to ask a fuckin tourist who won the game?! Baseball has more "casual fans" than any other sport and that's almost worse than having no fans at all. Even ESPN doesn't care. They had some lady on the radio last night doing baseball tonight who actually used the word "taked" without correcting herself. I'll use it in a sentence. After being a stupid retarded bitch, the network TAKED this crusty whore in a locked closet and beat her over the head with an English book. I'm with Ace on this one.

GMoney said...

I'm guessing that you are talking about Amy Lawrence and she has an extremely hot voice.

Crackheads are a crafty bunch, Ace, I'll give you that.

Damn, just read that the Cubs are going to keep Mike Quade as manager. Fuck them, they were supposed to Unfrozen Caveman Manager.

CMU is going down. More like "Fire DOWN, Chips"!

The Iceman said...

Sure...Amy Lawrence. I'll go with that. I was just excited to not hear the irritating voice of Freddie Coleman. That guy droning on about nothing makes me want to cause a 30 car pile up on the highway. If I had to pick a team to win the World Series...only because one team has to win it...I'll go with the Yankees. Only because I love hearing people bitch and moan about the Yankees buying championships and how baseball is so unfair without a salary cap. It entertains me.

GMoney said...

Speaking of Freddie Coleman, do a google image search of him. Look at his head. I haven't seen a dinosaur head like that since Jermaine Brooks.

Tony B. said...

The Giants were 3-3 against the Phillies in the regular season. Jonathan Sanchez has 2 wins vs. the Phils this year, one in a 5-1 win over Roy Halladay.

I'm not saying the Giants are going to win, but I think they'll put up more of a fight than you're giving them credit for. Should be a good series.

Anonymous said...

"People don't care about baseball G$. They only care if the team in their city is doing well...and even still don't really give that big of a shit."

Iceman, dont ever speak on my behalf you moronic piece of shit. Your points on this site are terrible, and make you sound like a fucking retard. Next time you speak for a group of people, make sure you clarify that the group is the worthless piece of shit faggots, who dont know shit about sports but act like they do cussing on a blog.


The Iceman said...

Hey Seal...before you start getting all amped up and self righteous on everyone do yourself a favor and go look at the baseball ratings this year's regular season compared to every other year. OBVIOUSLY there is a large group of people who don't give a fuck since the ratings were as low as they've ever been. This year's All Star game had the lowest TV rating ever. Do you know what ratings mean?? You ignorant fuck?? Just because you like baseball and represent a small minority of viewers doesn't mean shit. You were probably one of those people who were pissed when the "Joey" spinoff from "Friends" was cancelled. I mean...because YOU watch it and love it means that EVERYONE does right? Fuckin moron. Baseball has been on a decline ever since the steriod lid was blown off. You're just in denial and don't want to admit it.

The Iceman said...

I did look at Freddie Coleman's picture G$...for a second I thought it was the black Rocky Dennis from "Mask". Nice Jermaine Brooks about a name I never thought I would ever hear again. We definitely need more Jermaine Brooks in our lives.

GMoney said...

By the way, I stand by my Phillies sweep prediction. Why?

Charlie Manual has been firing up the Phils by quoting Ric Flair this week. Seriously. WOOOOOOO!!!

Ace said...

WOOOOOOOOOOO! To be the man, you gotta beat the man.

If Ric Flair has any involvement with the Phils then I say they win the series in 3.