The Worst Of Week Three Vol.IV

I liked this guy the first time...when he was called RoboCop.

Two weeks ago, I had to run to the grocery store around 9 pm because we were out of Diet Mountain Dew and ziploc bags.  Yes, it was a major crisis in the house.  I'm driving up to the store and see a line of guys stacked 20+ deep outside of another establishment.  They were waiting outside of a GameStop.  I wondered why until I saw the posters in the windows.  The new fucking HALO game was being released at midnight and they were waiting in line to purchase it.  Look, I've grown out of my video game phase.  I used to play NCAA Football and Madden until my thumbs bled but that was when I was living on my own and had nothing better to do.  Now that I'm older, I've realized that at some point in every man's life, you need to decide if you are going to contribute to society or not.  Fucking losers who sit on a sidewalk waiting to buy a video game for losers is the definition of "shithead".  Get a fucking life.  You are grown men.  Do something with yourself!  That is embarrassing.  Is it so wrong to wait until the next day to purchase a game?  Are you really that irrelevant that sitting on a sidewalk for hours is considered a good idea?  HALO is lame anyway.  If you want to shoot someone and accomplish something, join the fucking military.  At least there you will be doing something with your life.  I hate fucking nerds.

And you better believe that I secured that Diet Mountain Dew and sandwich bags.  THAT is what you call an accomplishment!

Before we get going, what an inspiring two touchdown loss that was for the Redskins yesterday.  Yes, that's two of the last three years in which the Rams have prevailed over us.  I used to think that eventhough we finish last in the division every year, at least we get to the play the Rams now.  Maybe it's the other way around and the Rams are happy to play the Skins every year.  The defense sucks.  Stephon Heyer is the worst player in football.  Nobody can hang on to the ball.  It's embarrassing.  Although for as shitty as the NFC East is this year, 7 wins might win the division.  Let's get this going.

Honorable Mention:  Carson Palmer.  This guy is fucking terrible.  He's done.  The Bengals are rotten...at least offensively.

Honorable Mention Part 2:  Rex Ryan's Discipline.  Really?  Suspending Beardo Edwards for one whole quarter for his crazy DWI.  I never thought that I could be so disappointed in a man that awesome.  Be a man and sit his ass, Rex.  Then you can go get yourself a goddamn snack.

5. Eli Manning - God, the Giants are a mess.  I'm sort of thinking that may have quit on Tom Coughlin due to his red cheeks and rat-like features.  So far, the 2010 Orlovsky Award for most retarded play of the year has to be that weirdo left-handed interception that 'Tard Manning threw yesterday in the end zone.  That was hilarious.

4. Kareem Jackson - Who?  Oh, he's just the rookie CB that got torched by Roy E. Williams yesterday.  I said it last week and I'll say it again:  Houston's pass defense is fucking AWFUL.  Roy E. is easily the worst WR in football and they made him look like Jerry Rice.  And how about Roy E giving the Texas horns after both of his scores!  He must not have seen his alma mater get their shit stomped by a putrid UCLA team on Saturday.

3. The Chargers - What the hell is wrong with these guys?  Them sucking in September has become an annual occurrence.  How can you give up two kick off returns for touchdowns?  And I am so sick of Phil Rivers' stupid faces.  He is a douche...plain and simple.  I can't believe that anyone on the Chargers actually likes him.  Oh and Norv Turner teams are always frauds.  Never forget that.

2. Garrett Hartley - Seriously, Sean Payton, you need a new kicker.  How many times can they trot that loser out there hoping that he doesn't lose games.  A 29 yarder?!!?!?!  Only the Redskins miss 29 yard field goals.  That was damn solid game though and the Falcons showed a lot of heart.  In the second quarter, they went on a 19 play, 11 minute drive.  That is flat out sick.

1. Mike Singletary - Wow.  I thought that it was a shoe-in when I placed that wager on the Niners winning over 8.5 games.  It seemed too good to be true.  And it was because the 49ers suck.  They are just rolling over and dying out there.  They've tuned the big cross necklace out.  He's not getting through anymore.  Singletary has to go and he can take Alex Smith with him.  The Niners are easily the biggest disappointment in the league this year and no one is really even close (although Ray Rice and his supreme shittiness has to rank second currently).

You know, I banged pretty hard on those video game nerds earlier in this post and I'm going to have to retract that a bit.  Playing Halo with other pedophiles across the country has to be more fun than watching the Redskins clumsily fuck a football for three hours each week.