|Booger just wants some human contact.|
Anyway, the worst of the first weekend in the NFL.
Honorable Mention - The ACC: Oh boy, not good. I had a feeling that this would be a big breakthrough year for the conference as it appeared that everyone had athletes in place (at least at the top). Va Tech lost to an ex-president. Florida State made a lovely statement in Norman. Jacory Harris came to Columbus with a diaper full of shit and never changed it. North Carolina's entire team has already signed with agents. And Georgia Tech apparently can't beat a terrible Kansas team. Awful. That may have been the worst weekend for any conference in recent history.
Another Honorable Mention - Mike Singletary: Getting CRUSHED by an inferior Seattle team AND wearing a footlong crucifix around your neck? Bad.
5. Matt Ryan - First of all, this game was horrible. It was way more boring than the Thursday night game. But it was expected, I suppose. Dennis Dixon isn't going to do anything great and Matt Ryan is a ginger shitstain. When is he going to show us something? When will we see that he is going to be more than a game manager. He looks a lot more like Brad Johnson than he does Denard Robinson. I realize that the Steelers defense is nasty, but you can throw on them and Ryan is showing that he can't throw.
4. The Bengals - All of them. They were down 24 before I farted for the first time. Obviously, the Patriots are good and all, but we've been told that this year is Super Bowl or bust for the Bingles this season. Bust it is. Nah, I'm not writing them off yet, but they HAVE to beat Baltimore next weekend. And I have a feeling that Mike Zimmer will be up their ass all weekend to, you know, actually tackle and defend the other team.
3. The Colts Defense - Hoo boy, I thought that Arian Foster would be good this year but not that good. And I heard that Bob Sanders got hurt again. What a bitch. I don't know if I'm fully buying the Texans yet just because that game meant more to Houston than Indy, but they at least looked like a playoff team. And did commenter Jeff enjoy Peyton fucking his butthole? I bet that he did.
2. Kevin Kolb - Wow. He certainly did suck donkey balls. Kolb just looks like a bitch. Will he even be the starter after he's done faking a concussion? Vick looked alright but I've got to think that World's Worst Dad would rather have his pet play over the dog killer. Hey Mr. Ace, do you think that Ryan Mallett will still be available when you guys are picking 7th at the next draft?
1. What happened to the Lions - I hate Jay Cutler. I never want to see him win anything except for a Biggest Faggot competition. And he should have lost yesterday. Megatron got hosed. That rule is so fucking stupid. Sure, they got the call right but the rule is not even close to being right. What was wrong with the old rules of taking two steps with possession or the elusive "make a football move"? Those make more sense than "completing the catch". Johnson had FOUR feet AND his hip in bounds with possession. That is embarrassing. Roger Goodell fucking sucks. If this is what the players are striking over, then they should because that rule is terrible and needs to be changed. The Lions got royally fucked.
I write this before the Sunday Night game every week. Usually, I just ignore the game and don't update the post afterwards. That will be different after this one. You can either put Romo or McNabb as 1A.
FUCK YES REDSKINS!!! I love it when the Cowboys fucking implode! Alex Barron is the worst offensive lineman ever. Jason Garrett sucks. His offense is the pussiest finesse bullshit in the league. The Skins didn't play well at all (the defense is still learning the 3-4), but the important thing is WE ARE IN FIRST PLACE AND DALLAS IS IN LAST!!! Jesus, I'm never going to fall asleep tonight...FUCK THE COWBOYS!