Thursday, September 30, 2010


This is a homemade video from the Damman 30th Birthday Bash and G$'s 30th Birthday Box Social from Saturday. It is glorious. Some may see this as a mail-in post. I see this as the best 24 seconds in internet history (until I get the video of my extra point up). Enjoy.  I only remember about 40% of what happened that night.  But thanks to modern technology, I will never forget our bar-wide shoutout and tribute to the 5-0 NapCats.

I'm 30 today.  Booooo!

As far as the whole age thing goes, I'm sort of indifferent.  But I am well aware that there is a big difference between being in your 20's and being in your 30's.  Allow me to explain.  When you are in your 30's, you worry about 401K's, your mortgage, and whether or not you can still stay awake for the ending of Monday Night Football.  When you are in your 20's, you are concerned more with where you are going to pass out on Saturday night and spending an entire Sunday afternoon trying to not puke up all the horrendous shit that you drank the night before (which I did this past weekend while still a 29 year old which makes it OK).

I don't really have any big plans or anything.  I'm making the missus take me to Paul Keels' favorite joint, Montgomery Inn, for some ribs tomorrow night but that's about it.  You know damn well that I'm in the "Inn Crowd".  I will be punishing myself with more MAC football on Saturday (fuck you, Kent!).  And that's about it.  I don't have the energy for much else.  Why?  Because on Tuesday night, my genius puppy continued his horrible trend of eating pine cones in the backyard and this time the thing scraped his esophagus which led to a massive freakout which led to no sleep which led to a 6 AM trip to the vet which finally led to me being in a bad mood (and thankfully him feeling better).  Would you eat a porcupine?  Of course not.  Our dog is an idiot.  He actually chews on rocks.  ROCKS!  And those things sharpen his teeth like you wouldn't believe.

So you'll have to forgive me.  After all, it's my birthday and I can do whatever I want.  Just keep watching that video.  That will help me get through this day and it should for you, too. 


Mr. Ace said...

That battle cry is, as you say at the end of the video, OUTSTANDING!

Grumpy said...

Welcome to middle age. The battle cry is awesome; get the extra point up here.

Montgomery Inn is an excellent choice. Enjoy.

GMoney said...

I must be getting older. I actually bought my co-workers breakfast this morning. It's poisoned but it's the thought that counts.

Mr. Ace said...

Duly noted: Turning 30 turns you into a vagina.

And now that you're an old man, should we expect more posts about The Price is Right? I know Grumpy would be thrilled.

GMoney said...
Vote this "Doucher" for Judge!!!

Drew said...

So, you're telling me that I basically have 15 months left to continue living a reckless life? I'm down.

Your dog will get smarter. My dog when she was a youngster would eat her shit...then puke it up later...then eat her shit vomit. She hasn't done anything real dumb in a long time...they get smart.

Paul Keels sucks ass. I could do his play by play 100x better...of course I'd require some beers while I did it, but I'd still know who wore what number and act like I was excited to be there.

Anybody got a feel for how the Ryder Cup is gonna go? I take this Friday off each Cup and I'm not even a big golf fan....but, I love it. The DVR is going to start recording at 2a.m. tonight and I'll wake up with beers and eggs tomorrow morning and start from the beginning.

Happy Birthday Doucher.

MUDawgfan said...

Happy Birthday G$!

I'll be up in the Cincy area next weekend for the UC/Miami game and for an 2nd interview - I give the highest recommendation to "Terry's Turf Club" for delicious Bell's Two Hearted Ale and the best burgers in town.

Anonymous said...

30 just sounds depressing as hell. You should have just killed yourself at 11:59 last night. We'd all be thankful and proud of you.


GMoney said...

Keels is awesome. His voice is great and compared to the ridiculous homer-ness of Lachey, at least he brings some professionalism to the booth.

Dawg, I wish I was going to the UC game next week but I have plans...which I will be ranting about in the near future.

Dut, I was asleep before midnight last night, bitch!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday broseph!!!

Love Ya,

Tony Romo

Tony B. said...

Happy Birthday G$! The dirty 30 can't be all bad. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself that my life won't be over this June.

Anonymous said...

Your pubes start turning gray at 30...something to look forward to. And dogs never grow out of stupidity. Mine still empties the trash can while I'm at work and sits by it until I get home so I can see the wonderful present he left me...and he's 11.

Drew said...

Paul Keels is terrible. He doesn't know the names....doesn't know the numbers...and sounds like he's asleep. I'd rather have that moronic Cavs announcer do the games. You are supposed to be a homer for your teams. Why do Buckeye fans hate/Wolverine fans love the late Bob Ufer? Cuz' he was fucking obnoxious which was great. The least Keels could do is memorize what numbers the players on the Buckeyes wear. I can't wait for Christian Bryant (Defense # 2) to get more burn so we can hear about how Pryor just made a tackle. He's the worst ever.