Tuesday, September 07, 2010

The Saints Still Run The Dirty Souf

In just two days all of our prayers will be answered. Not only does the NFL season start, but it's the first real chance that Brett Favre has at dying on the field. The Saints put a hurting on him last year in the NFC Championship game and we can all only hope for a repeat performance. But there are still preview's to be done, so lets handle that business first.

Last year, the NFC South ended like this;
Saints: 13-3
Falcons: 9-7
Panthers: 8-8
Buccaneers: 3-13

Absolutely nothing will change.

1. New Orleans Saints. 11-5. Vegas Total Wins Line: 10.5.
Alright, Breesus, you're a Super Bowl Champion. NOW CARVE THAT FUCKING SHIT STAIN OUT OF YOUR FACE! Do you really think Goodell is going to allow a team to go back to back if they are led by a guy with turd smear on his face? He would rather a two-time rapist get his third ring.

Nobody else in the division has done enough to take over the top spot. On a separate note, I work with a guy who played high school ball with Lance Moore. I am slowly compiling enough info to blackmail him into being my BFF. I can't wait to update my facebook profile with all our pictures together. OVER.

2. Atlanta Falcons. 10-6. Vegas Total Wins Line: 9.
I like what Matty Ice has going down in the ATL, but I don't beat off to his perfectly symmetrical face like Colin Cowherd. Cowherd's obsession with the Falcons and Ryan is disturbing. The Falcons took a big step back last year, especially on the defensive side. I don't know how people equate a team with the 28th ranked pass defense with Super Bowl dark horse, especially when they have done nothing to improve that ranking, but whatever. Falcons are good, and have a solid shot at a wild card, but they are just sort of there and don't really matter...kind of like Atlanta. OVER.

3. Carolina Panthers. 6-10. Vegas Total Wins Line: 7.
At some point this year, Jimmy Clausen will play quarterback for this team. There is absolutely nothing else you need to know about this team. At least Jake Delhomme won't throw 50 INT's for them this year. UNDER.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. 5-11. Vegas Total Wins Line: 6.
I like Tampa. I like what they are doing. They have a nice young nucleus of young skill players and they are slowly phasing out many of their old veterans. So yeah, I like Tampa...in about three years. I don't know if Raheem Morris is going to be the guy there for long because this team will struggle this year and probably the next. Expect a lot of ups and downs this year. I wouldn't be surprised if they beat the Saints in Week 6 and lose by 20 to the Rams the very next week. So keep these guys off your betting card this year, and take the UNDER.

Breakout Fantasy Player: Cadillac Williams. Cadillac is back. I see 1,200 total yards and 12 total TD's coming this year. With Derrick Ward out of the way this will be Cadillac's offense so expect him to return to glory.

All Hail Breesus.


Grumpy said...

Shit, prune juice fucked me all up and I thought it was Monday. I should have checked the author before I read that crap. Atlanta goes down to Dennis Dixon this week.

GMoney said...

I'm going to beat MUDawg to the punch here and beat you down on your Falcons misremembering.

*For the first time in franchise history, they were over .500 for two consecutive years. Definitely not a major step backwards especially when their 2008 season was sort of flukey.

*Dunta Robinson = major upgrade in the secondary

*Colin Cowherd fucks baby cows