G$ covers all things terrible in the NFL on Mondays, and on Tuesday's I plan on making The Money Shot college football central. Which basically means we will talk Michigan and Fuckeye football as well as some of the biggest abortions of the week.
First things first, Denard Robinson is a fucking monster. In the words of the great(NOT) Pat Forde, "Michigan's Denard Robinson went Vince Young Plus Tax on Notre Dame." Indeed. After he single-handedly dismantled UConn last week he knew all eyes would be on him in South Bend. He didn't crumble under the pressure as a sophomore in his second start. He shattered all expectations and dominated from beginning to end. Now, I'm not one to overreact and make all kinds of crazy predictions so....oh who the fuck am I kidding, Denard Robinson has me thinking about going bowling BCS style. With Denard all things are possible.
On the other side of that game, the next big faggot at ND, Dayne Crist. If you watched that game you had to see what kind of fuck he truly is, right? As I told one of my friends who is an ND fan, "Dayne Crist is Jimmah Clausen without the talent...which just makes him a douche bag." There was nothing more gratifying than watching that faggot complete the final pass of the game to a Michigan band tuba player. Eat a dick. It's a shame he didn't go blind.
Manti Te'o. This is the best linebacker in all of college football. I don't know how a 6'2", 250 lb. Hawaiian Mormon ends up at Notre Dame, but they are lucky to have him. 13 tackles, 1 TFL, 1FF, and 1 pass break up, that's a hell of a stat line for a true sophomore.
Brian Kelly is the master of belittling young quarterbacks.
How about them Fuckeyes? I can't possibly be the only person to come away unimpressed, right? Don't get me wrong, it was a great win for them and the Big Ten--like I give a shit--but nothing I saw made me think National Championship. I don't see any improvement in Pryor, sorry. He throws a helluva deep ball, but his accuracy is piss poor--when's the last time you heard that expression? 12 for 27? That might be acceptable as a freshman, but not as a Junior who is a Heisman favorite and supposed be leading his team to a National Title. 20 carries for 113 yards? Denard does that shit in his sleep. Three field goals of less than 25 yards? The Fuckeyes had so many opportunities to put that game away but the offense just couldn't finish the job. I know Fuckeyes, I'm just a hater, but don't be surprised when Pryor struggles against the top teams in the Big Ten.
As for the defense, they did a great job of not giving up the big play. The same can't be said for the special teams, but that's another story. I still didn't see a dominate defense, though. Miami was able to move the ball down the field pretty well despite having a hobbled Jacory Harris and being without Graig Cooper. Obviously, Harris' four interceptions were the difference in the game, but three of those were absolute gifts. Two came off deflections right into Fuckeye's hands and one was thrown directly into Chekwa's hands because the WR ran the wrong route. Tough to put those on Harris, just the Fuckeyes being in the right places. A strong showing, but Fuckeyes, lets go ahead and remove "dominant" from your vocabulary.
anOSU does deserve props for one thing; they didn't cave to Bron Bron's crazy demand to have a full police escort at the game. Fuck him... maybe that was why Pryor sucked.
Pro Abortion Saturday's.
How great was it to see Virginia Tech lose? And it had nothing at all to do with Virginia Tech. Boise State lost all of their first place votes but one. So much for that National Title shot.
Florida is still a complete and total fraud. South Florida dominated the entire first half, but the game changed when South Florida's running back fumbled on the Florida 10 yard line. Florida broke out some big plays, USF turned it over some more, and it was over. But John Brantley is a bum. Florida is losing four games this year.
At some point doesn't Georgia Tech have to teach Josh Nesbitt how to throw? I get it, Tech will run for over 300 yards every week, but if Kansas can force Tech to go 4 for 13 on 3rd down conversions and 1 for 4 on fourth down conversions then you might want to have another threat. Score one for Turner Gill.
Looking ahead to next week...
Denard Robinson plays for less than two quarters. Please.
Sorry Big Ten fans, Wisconsin is getting upset by Arizona State. Definitely taking ASU +15.5.
Notre Dame will rebound and beat Sparty. ND +3.
After USC beats Minny by 30 Tim Brewster will be fired. USC -14.
Nebraska rolls through UW, showing they are the best team in the Big 12(10). Neb -4.5.
Next Saturday is Cupcake Saturday so don't expect too many great matchups. The only game featuring two ranked teams is Iowa @ Arizona. Yikes. But there is no such thing as a bad college football Saturday.
Hail to the Victors!