Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Lets Get Denarded, Again

(ALL HAIL DENARD)

G$ covers all things terrible in the NFL on Mondays, and on Tuesday's I plan on making The Money Shot college football central. Which basically means we will talk Michigan and Fuckeye football as well as some of the biggest abortions of the week.

First things first, Denard Robinson is a fucking monster. In the words of the great(NOT) Pat Forde, "Michigan's Denard Robinson went Vince Young Plus Tax on Notre Dame." Indeed. After he single-handedly dismantled UConn last week he knew all eyes would be on him in South Bend. He didn't crumble under the pressure as a sophomore in his second start. He shattered all expectations and dominated from beginning to end. Now, I'm not one to overreact and make all kinds of crazy predictions so....oh who the fuck am I kidding, Denard Robinson has me thinking about going bowling BCS style. With Denard all things are possible.

On the other side of that game, the next big faggot at ND, Dayne Crist. If you watched that game you had to see what kind of fuck he truly is, right? As I told one of my friends who is an ND fan, "Dayne Crist is Jimmah Clausen without the talent...which just makes him a douche bag." There was nothing more gratifying than watching that faggot complete the final pass of the game to a Michigan band tuba player. Eat a dick. It's a shame he didn't go blind.

Manti Te'o. This is the best linebacker in all of college football. I don't know how a 6'2", 250 lb. Hawaiian Mormon ends up at Notre Dame, but they are lucky to have him. 13 tackles, 1 TFL, 1FF, and 1 pass break up, that's a hell of a stat line for a true sophomore.

Brian Kelly is the master of belittling young quarterbacks.

How about them Fuckeyes? I can't possibly be the only person to come away unimpressed, right? Don't get me wrong, it was a great win for them and the Big Ten--like I give a shit--but nothing I saw made me think National Championship. I don't see any improvement in Pryor, sorry. He throws a helluva deep ball, but his accuracy is piss poor--when's the last time you heard that expression? 12 for 27? That might be acceptable as a freshman, but not as a Junior who is a Heisman favorite and supposed be leading his team to a National Title. 20 carries for 113 yards? Denard does that shit in his sleep. Three field goals of less than 25 yards? The Fuckeyes had so many opportunities to put that game away but the offense just couldn't finish the job. I know Fuckeyes, I'm just a hater, but don't be surprised when Pryor struggles against the top teams in the Big Ten.

As for the defense, they did a great job of not giving up the big play. The same can't be said for the special teams, but that's another story. I still didn't see a dominate defense, though. Miami was able to move the ball down the field pretty well despite having a hobbled Jacory Harris and being without Graig Cooper. Obviously, Harris' four interceptions were the difference in the game, but three of those were absolute gifts. Two came off deflections right into Fuckeye's hands and one was thrown directly into Chekwa's hands because the WR ran the wrong route. Tough to put those on Harris, just the Fuckeyes being in the right places. A strong showing, but Fuckeyes, lets go ahead and remove "dominant" from your vocabulary.

anOSU does deserve props for one thing; they didn't cave to Bron Bron's crazy demand to have a full police escort at the game. Fuck him... maybe that was why Pryor sucked.

Pro Abortion Saturday's.
How great was it to see Virginia Tech lose? And it had nothing at all to do with Virginia Tech. Boise State lost all of their first place votes but one. So much for that National Title shot.

Florida is still a complete and total fraud. South Florida dominated the entire first half, but the game changed when South Florida's running back fumbled on the Florida 10 yard line. Florida broke out some big plays, USF turned it over some more, and it was over. But John Brantley is a bum. Florida is losing four games this year.

At some point doesn't Georgia Tech have to teach Josh Nesbitt how to throw? I get it, Tech will run for over 300 yards every week, but if Kansas can force Tech to go 4 for 13 on 3rd down conversions and 1 for 4 on fourth down conversions then you might want to have another threat. Score one for Turner Gill.

Looking ahead to next week...
Denard Robinson plays for less than two quarters. Please.

Sorry Big Ten fans, Wisconsin is getting upset by Arizona State. Definitely taking ASU +15.5.

Notre Dame will rebound and beat Sparty. ND +3.

After USC beats Minny by 30 Tim Brewster will be fired. USC -14.

Nebraska rolls through UW, showing they are the best team in the Big 12(10). Neb -4.5.

Next Saturday is Cupcake Saturday so don't expect too many great matchups. The only game featuring two ranked teams is Iowa @ Arizona. Yikes. But there is no such thing as a bad college football Saturday.

Hail to the Victors!

30 comments:

GMoney said...

Actually, other than the Michigan game, this past HUGE weekend was a terrible college football weekend.

I have a feeling that this post is going to rile up the idiots.

How about Colorado State? They used to be pretty good. Yet now they are 8 point dogs to the RedHawks. Sick helmets though.

Drew said...

Why is this retard allowed to speak again?

Yeah, that OSU defense really isn't dominant. They have just only allowed one TD through two games. That Michigan defense looked pretty sweet against one eyed Jimmy Clausen without the talent...if pretty sweet means giving up 535 yards of offense.

I wish the Buckeyes could play Michigan this week. Denard would make Masoli look like he was sweet in the Rose Bowl last year.

This post is wildly similar to the great "May The Forcier Be With You" post after two weeks last year. I can't wait for the shit to hit the fan up there.

Drew said...

G$...How about the whole state of Colorado? It's not like the Buffaloes aren't terrible too. Maybe the Kobe rape scared off all the football recruits, because they don't want to deal with that drama while banging the white chicks.

GMoney said...

That's enough. Don't compare/contrast what Denard is doing this year to what that white cunt did last year. It's not even in the same galaxy how much better Robinson has been.

I would rather have Ace write here every Tuesday than any of you, fuck-ups. Yeah, I said it.

Mr. Ace said...

But you will admit, Drew, that Pryor sucked penises Saturday, correct?

When is the last time Colorado State was good? When Joey Porter was there?

I believe Colorado was forced to shut down their escort service after the '04 incident. Tough break.

Nebraska line is already down to 3.5. The UW hype machine is unreal.

Drew said...

No...he didn't "suck penises" on Saturday. He definitely didn't have a good day throwing, but he ran for over 100 yards and did it against the best front seven he will play against until the bowl match up. Iowa's D-Line is equal, but Miami's LB's blow theirs out of the water. He didn't have the good fortune of playing against a Weis/Kelly ND defense....which is a defense built by two horrendous defensive coaches.

TP's only rocking a 158.69 passer rating with zero INT's so far this year.

The last time Colorado State was relevant was in the early 2000's..I thought they had some good controversial QB then?

The most famous FB player for the Buffaloes in recent years was Jeremy Bloom, which is sad in itself.

Anonymous said...

Ace- you are ridiculous. I haven't heard anyone besides you say that they weren't impressed by osu. Pryor didn't have a great game, but he still had 330+ total yards. If he does that every week ohio state will be playing for the national championship. The defense was lights out. Other than Miamis drive that ended in a Heyward pick, miami really struggled to move the ball until osu went conservative late in the 3rd.

So let me get this straight.. Michigan barely beat an unranked ND team who lost their qb for half the game, and you're screaming BCS bowl?? Whereas osu easily beat a solid miami team and it isn't that impressive? Makes sense to me!

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

You clowns were +4 in turnovers and won by 12= not impressive. The Fuckeyes might lose three games this year. Keep settling for field goals with your "lights out" defense, fag.

I predicted Michigan to the Rose Bowl in the comments a few weeks back and you guys thought I was joking. Fuck no. Already booked my flight to Pasadena.

Anonymous said...

"I would rather have Ace write here every Tuesday than any of you, fuck-ups. Yeah, I said it."

God you are a little bitch, was Ace balls deep when you posted that?

Seal

Anonymous said...

Ya.. The 4 turnovers to 0 was all luck. Have you watched osu the last 10 years? That's Tresselball.

I think its more impressive that osu gave away 14 points on special teams and still won by 12 (and took a knee at the goalline.. You probably forgot about that too).

Dut

GMoney said...

No, Seal, it's just how little I think of the rest of you.

By the way:
Both my college and pro teams won this weekend. I went 3-0 in fantasy in dominating fashion (suck it Dut and Jeff). I gambled at an 80% hit rate including nailing both MNF games last night. It's all down hill from here. It sucks to peak this early.

MuDawgfan said...

Manti Te'o. This is the best linebacker in all of college football.

This is when I stopped reading.
I'm demanding an apology during next Tuesdays CFB post.

Mr. Ace said...

I had a monster parlay ruined by North fucking Texas -3. Fucking Phil Steele tricked me.

I am dead fucking serious about Te'o. Kid is a beast and is all over the field. He gets no help from anybody else on the ND defense but is always in position to make plays. He single-handedly kept ND in the game on defense...along with DickRod's horrible 3rd down playcalling.

Grumpy said...

WTF? If I wanted a Michigan press guide I would have ordered one. I'm boycotting Tuesdays; the rest of you should also or this shit will continue.

Anonymous said...

Ace,

I have to go with Dut here. I will be the first to acknowledge that our special teams coverage units are worse than aids. However, Ohio State came out in the 2nd Half and played vanilla as fuck on defense by dropping back in zone coverage while rushing 4 and sometimes three. This is what allowed Miami to stay in the game offensively. At the end of the first half, when OSU was blitzing and in man coverage, Miami only had 104 yards of total offense and 3 offensive points and Ohio State had 230+ yards and 26 offensive points.

The reason Miami hung around is Tresselball. OSU got a lead, knew they could move the ball if needed, and played vanilla so as to not give up a big play or make a mistake and to run the clock. If it were not for the special teams miscues, I would say OSU "Dominated." However, I still came away impressed on many levels after the game.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Also, I am very amazed at the way Denard Robinson is playing. If I were a Michigan fan, my only concern would be that, because Denard is the entire offense, what is going to happen when he faces a good defense that will severely limit his output. Does Michigan have the weapons to offset it? Further, if that happens, and the opposing team has a good offense, will Michigan's defense be able to keep Michigan in the game? I believe the answer to both questions is "no".

-Lil' Strut

The Iceman said...

Before OSU fans start drinking each other's jiz over beating Miami let's sit back and remember how overrated the ACC is this year. That shit bag conference already had one team that was ranked #15 lose to Boise State and James Madison in back to back weeks, not to mention had another team get their assholes blown out by Oklahoma. Yes, I know Oklahoma was ranked #10 when that happened but if you're a legit top 25 team you keep it closer than 30. Beating Miami is a good win for the Buckeyes, but it's definitely not a great win since I question if Miami is even ranked at the end of the year. Robinson has almost 900 yards of total offense by himself in 2 weeks of football. I don't give a fuck who you're playing. If anyone, as fans, fails to see how special that is then you need to get your head out of Jim Tressel's ass.

Mr. Ace said...

LS, Michigan's defense is terrible. I will be the first to admit that. We have absolutely zero depth at LB and DB and inexperienced players all over.

It's hard for me to imagine a defense that can totally shut him down. I think M has plenty of offensive talent. ND made a choice to shut down the RB's and make Denard beat them, which is exactly what he did. If a defense decides to key on Denard in the run game then the RB's will find holes.

Anonymous said...

Ace,

I am not saying a defense will shut him down. A guy that fast is bound to break a few big runs. I was thinking about a stat line that looks like (140 yds passing, 1 TD, 1 Int; 70 yds rushing, 1 td). If he does that, which I think will eventually happen, UM will be in big trouble.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Iceman- that post was just so insightful. Soooo because FSU and Va Tech got beat, that means Miami sucks now? Boy does that make sense. What makes you question if miami will be a top 25 team? So far your only reasoning is because Ohio State beat them.. And you will do anything to try to make osu's win less significant. I'm sure after Ohio State beat Oregon last year you simply said that Oregon was overrated. You sound more ridiculous than Mr Ace. Give some fucking credit where its due dammit!

I think everyone has been impressed with Denard so far. Who has said they weren't? To expect that kind of performance every week (especially when they play better defenses and have seen michigan on tape more) is crazy. No player other than Denard is a that scary. Its only a matter of time.

Dut

GMoney said...

How do you shut down a QB that can run for 200 yards AND complete 66% of his passes? You can't. You have to pick your poison which will probably end up being teams stacking the box and making the UM receivers get open. It's not possible to shut down a healthy Denard unless your entire LB corps runs a 4.3. And I have yet to see a team with talent like that.

Anonymous said...

G$,

Nobody is claiming he will get completely shut down. However, teams will have film on him and his offense in the future, which will include the types of passes/routes UM is running, the tendencies of Denard, any bad habits he has, etc. In no way am I claiming Michigan is going to duplicate the result of the past few years by starting out undefeated then imploding, but I am saying that the yards and TDs are not going to come as easy as the season progresses. When that happens, Michigan does not have the talent to make up for the lack of production and will lose some games. Right now, I see Michigan as an 8-4 team, solely because of its lack of offensive playmakers outside of Denard Robinson and its incapable defense. If Michigan can fill those holes/improve for next year then they could be in serious Big 10 title contention.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

When Michigan loses games it won't be because of a lack of offensive talent outside of Denard. It will be because our defense gave up 50.

Drew said...

Any talk about OSU not being able to shut down fucking Denard Robinson is just ridiculous. OSU held Masoli to 81 yards passing and 9 yards rushing....and Lamichael James to 70 yards rushing. After two games there is no way you can say that Denard is better tahn Masoli was at that point last year and Michigan doesn't have a RB that can hold Lamichael James jock.

GMoney said...

Are you talking about playing quarterback or stealing laptops?

Anonymous said...

The good news for Michigan is that its next three games are games they should win. This should give UM a chance to expand its offense and give its defense some more game experience. After those three games we will find out how good UM really is when the Wolverines play Michigan State, Iowa, and Penn State in three consecutive weeks. If UM can come out of those games 2-1 or better, I think Michigan football will be on its way back to where it should be.

Of course, all this talk is moot if Denard cannot stay healthy, which at 6'0 180 lbs. and carrying the ball 28 times a game is far from a guarantee.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

I'll say it, Denard is better than Masoli was at any point last year. I don't even think it is close. I know you are Fuckeyes so it is hard to get around that, but Denard is leading the nation in total yardage and has almost 100 yards more than the person behind him. It would be different if we played WMU and Deleware St. UConn and ND are solid programs and Denard lit them up at will. You haven't seen a QB quite like this in a scheme like this.

I am worried about his health, but he has bulked up to take the load. Not that it is a huge deal, but he is much closer to 200 lbs then 180.

Championship.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ohio State fans,

This is why you should not give a flying fuck about how good Michigan is. We are taking for granted how terrible they are and how bad we can rip on these Michigan fans. Who gives a shit if it is good for the Big Ten. When Michigan was beating up on Ohio State, how often did we hear them saying I wish Ohio State was good for the Big Ten. Michigan can go fist themselves and Mr. Ace can get in line first.

Suck my balls Mr. Ace

Mr. Ace said...

Anon fuck, I actually agree with you. My hatred for the Fuckeyes far outweighs my love for Michigan. I could care less how much you Fuckeyes like or dislike Michigan. Fuck you and fuck the Big Ten with a GRID dick.

Go fuck yourself.

The Iceman said...

Iceman- that post was just so insightful. Soooo because FSU and Va Tech got beat, that means Miami sucks now?

That means Miami...like the rest of the shitty ACC...is overrated and will struggle to remain ranked all year. That conference, along with pretty much every team in it, is dog shit and you know it. In 2 weeks of football they are 15-8 as a conference and have zero wins against the 5 top 25 teams they have played. There's one ranked team (Miami) who is one bad loss away from staying out of the top 25 permanently. Forgive me for not putting faith in a conference that constantly lets people down.