Friday, September 17, 2010

A Friendly Reminder

Just to remind all of you studs out there, the "Damman and G$'s 30th Birthday Bash" is still set for a week from tomorrow.  Actually, everyone says "bash".  I don't want to use bash for this random event of drunken chicanery.  I'm classy.  Damman can have a bash if he wants but I'm cordially inviting you to "G$'s 30th Birthday Box Social".  Only scotch will be served.

Anyway, we sent out a bunch of invites on Facebook so if you didn't get one, no one likes you.  Nah, that's not true.  It's more like everyone hates you.  But in case you need the details again, it's Saturday 9/25 at the Bier Stube on campus (9th and High).  For some odd reason, the Eastern Michigan/Ohio State game is at 3:30 which should delay the sloppiness.  And that's nice since both of our parents will be in attendance.  I assume that everything will be taken up a notch some time around 6.

So there is your warning.  You've got less than a week to buy me a gift.  Since it's a milestone birthday, I expect something nice.  And let's be honest, I've helped you get through your shitty days for 4+ years now.  The only things that I've told people to buy me are nice bottles of whisky and vodka.  No rum though.  Rum is for gay men.  And no tequila/Jagermeister either.  I'm saying goodbye to my 20's after all.  Nothing worse than Grey Goose or Maker's Mark.  I want the good shit.  For my wedding, Mr. and Mrs. Wig Master got us a big bottle of gift ever.  A red bow on the bottle would be a class act.

Who am I kidding?  The only thing that I'm going to get are a few lukewarm bottles of Bud Light and horrible conversations about Ohio State football.  It's going to suck.  I already hate being 30.  A few notes before we go:

*The Browns better fucking win this week or Mangini isn't going to be around by Halloween.  I still find it funny that some people thought that this team would be .500 or even better.  They are awful.  Even if they beat the Chiefs on Sunday, which would be an upset to me, they are going to lose their next 7.  Don't believe me?  Baltimore, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Cincy, New Orleans, the Jets, and New England.  All losses.  But maybe we should be rooting for the Browns to start 0-9 and for Mangini to get shitcanned.  The NFL could use another Ryan running a show.  I assume that Rob Ryan is at least 90% as awesome as his brother.  He has to be.

*Really?  Derek Jeter is all of a sudden a cheater?  I don't get the backlash of him faking getting hit by a pitch.  So what?  He should be commended for his awareness of the situation.  When an umpire tells you to go to first, why would you tell him differently?  It's just like when a pitch grazes a guy's jersey.  Technically, it didn't hit you at all but what kind of an idiot tells the truth in that situation?  No, you milk that shit.  People have been applauding Jeter for his intangibles for years, well, this is what they have been talking about.

Eh, I'm out of here.  Only working a half day today.  You get half of my ass in return.  Have a good weekend.


Grumpy said...

Why is cheating an accepted part of baseball, but not so much in other sports?

Drew said...

I plan on showing up at this birthday party blacked out with some grenade on my arm that I just met at the Out R prepared.

As for the Jeter thing. It's a great example as to how ESPN is just ruining discussions about sports.

A.) Who gives a fuck? It was a smart a flop in bball..or a kicker falling in football...or a dive in hockey. It's actually better than all three of those.

B.) The Yankees didn't even win the game, so it didn't even matter.

But, it was Jeter and the Yankees. Just like anything that goes on with the Jets or the Heat is going to be talked about to no end. Nobody fucking about something that is worthy of being talked about. They pound all this crap down people's throats about shit nobody cares about. Fuck ESPN.

GMoney said...

Because cheating, on different levels, has been part of baseball since the beginning of the game. You probably remember when Ty Cobb was a rookie, right?

Drew, just one grenade?

How great was It's Always Sunny last night? "Her breath smells like she was nibbling on little pieces of shit!"

Anonymous said...

The Browns are favored by 2. If I wasn't against betting against my teams I would be all over that shit. I would even moneyline the chiefs. Fuck Mangini and fuck anyone who predicted 8 wins. I'm already hoping for a 1-15 season and ryan mallet in my stocking for christmas.

Other guaranteed bets from Dut: Texas (-3.5) over Texas Tech
USC (-11.5) over Minnesota
Please give me 10% of your winnings. I'm already 1-0 this weekend from last nights NC State ass woopin and there is no end in sight.

I'm all for what Jeter did. He is one hell of an actor. 1st basemen do similar shit all the time trying to get a close call. Why don't they get criticized?

G$- prepare to have Roy Williams and Tony Romo's cock in your ass all day Sunday!


Anonymous said...

Oh yeah nice call on Little Bar, Drew. I've been partying in Columbus on gamedays ever since I was a school boy, and I just discovered Out r Inn bar last week. That place is goddamn amazin! Slots everywhere and somewhat reasonable booze. Ill put it up there with Little Bar and the Stube for best gameday bars.


GMoney said...

You just discovered Out R Inn? You are so goddamn lame. That place has been sick for decades.

USC hasn't covered yet. Doing it by double digits on the road doesn't seem like it's going to happen either. Brewster will keep it close.

You start Roy Williams? No wonder I'm a 23 point favorite.

GMoney said...

And just for those wondering, after my saavy trades this week I now trot out a DFL lineup that looks like this:

Burner Turner
Lucky Pierre Thomas
Smiles Austin
DeSean Jacksoff
Brandon Marshall

I win. Every week, I will win.

Anonymous said...

G$- I think you got raped in both of your trades yesterday!


Drew said...'re a faggot if you just discovered Out R Inn.

I go to Little Bar for my Sunday NFL viewing/gorgeous girls dressed in skanky ref attire serving me drinks viewing.

"Brewster will keep it close"...jesus christ...that's like saying "Kiffin will play by the rules".

G$...I'll go for at least two grenades. Lots of fast food joints for them to escape from my arm though on the walk from the Inn to the Stube.

GMoney said...

Picking up two top ten WR's for two flex players is considered getting raped? Is there a fantasy tennis league that you can join because clearly football is not your expertise.

I upgraded Collie and Kenny Britt into Marshall and D-Jax without giving up my two stud RB's. Yep, my butthole got hollowed out.

Anonymous said...

Yeah that's a great trade.... LAST SEASON!


Drew said...

G$....Kyle Orton is gonna be dropping TD's all over you this weekend in our match up. Only reason you even have a chance at victory is due to Rodgers against the Bills.

Tony B. said...

Google Maps just told me that it is going to take me 37 hours to drive there. The good news is that I can take 80-East pretty much the entire way. I better get going!

The Iceman said...

"G$....Kyle Orton is gonna be dropping TD's all over you this weekend in our match up"

This is a joke right? You were joking when you wrote that...

Drew said...

Fuck no Iceman...come back Monday..we'll discuss Orton's big day.

GMoney said...

Seal, go illegally recruit high school basketball players.

Do you trust Darren McFadden? Or Brandon Jackson since they want to snag a RB from the Bills now? Of course not. DeSean and B-Marsh are much better and safer players.

Drew, your team fucking sucks. It's going to get ugly early and Megatron is dropping 2 td's on your ass.

The Iceman said...

I'll be here Drew...eagerly awaiting that conversation.